Sequence of events
Results of a small survey conducted (specifics in next section) corroborates empirical evidence that decision process can start at either end. We know that there are people who first think the ‗head way ‗& there are others who start with the ‗heart way ‗
While in our schooling we are trained to ‗ think ‗ rather than ‗ feel ‗ , there are adequate instances where we have taken decisions on impulse ahead of our thinking .
However for simplification of our discussion we‘d focus only on Head à Heart sequence.
Situation of conflict & compromise
When we look for buying an apartment we‘ begin with making a list of decision parameters like Size , Location , Amenities , Price etc. , we then shortlist a few options which fulfill these criteria . When we go for viewing these options, it may happen that some of the options which fulfill our rational criteria may not ‗appeal‗ to us – we may not like them. On the other hand in a reverse scenario, we love some of the apartment options shown to us but unfortunately none fully complies with our parameters. There is apparently a ‗conflict of interest ‗between the Head & the Heart parameters
Same is true about a relationship …. There is no reason when we don‘t like someone who otherwise appears to ‗tick‗all the boxes on our rational checklist
What is happening here is, the two stakeholders in our decision –Mr. Head &Mr. Heart are not in sync.
This causes a dilemma – should I / should I not ? You can contrast this situation v/s one where both Head & Heart are in sync. In situations where they are not in agreement we make a compromise in deciding go either way. More often than not the ‗compromise‘ keeps resurfacing in our mind as a constant nagging of ‗Should have I/should have I not ‗. This disturbs our equilibrium & our peace in the process. This constant disturbance saps our time & energy and takes away focus from action. Additionally it makes us uncertain and affects our decision making ability. We‘d like if we can have a mechanism by which we can find a conclusive resolution to this unresolved issue which will lead to peace