Research Paper By Yasmine Shahin
(Life Coaching, CAIRO, EGYPT)
Confidence is being in the state that makes you feel that you can achieve what you want in life. That you have the capabilities, the will and the way to live your life according to your own values and beliefs without stopping to think what others will say or think about you.
It is the state that makes you a leader of your own self and not a follower to others. Where you will acknowledge your own success and will stop comparing yourself to others.
Confidence does not mean that you think of yourself as more valuable than others or better than others or even higher than others. People who think that way actually think very low of themselves. They feel weak and shaky from inside and just want to cover that fact by putting on their high ego mask.
Only when you are confident you will be:
Only when you lack confidence, you will be:
How can you build your Self-Confidence?
Building self-confidence begins with the process of self-exploration.
The key word we can use here is “self-awareness”. Discover yourself on very deep levels. Each and every one of us has his own unique strengths. Dig within yourself and try hard to find these potentials lying within yourself. It’s never too late to start exploring yourself. Never too late to start writing down what you really want and what you really believe you can and want to do and achieve.
Find out what are your underlying beliefs that keeps on pulling you back from being self confident and work on them.
See yourself in your potentials not in your weakness. Appreciate who you really are and stop comparing yourself to others. Avoid judgments, cause judging others does not define who they are, it defines who you are.
You can start by taking a pen and a piece of paper. Start by writing down what are the strengths that you see in you and focus on them.
Or
You can start by setting small goals that you want to achieve and start working on them.
Or
You can start by changing your perspectives towards the inner beliefs that are pulling you back.
Or
You can evaluate yourself and your actions and acknowledge what you think you did well at.
What I really mean here is that there are a lot of ways that anyone can apply to start building on and achieving self-confidence. But you will never be able to start without having self-awareness.
The way you view yourself is the same way others will look at you. Your inner self-belief and acceptance will reflect on you and on your actions.
If you see yourself confident, talented, unique and strong, people will see the same. On the other hand, if you see yourself weak, shaky or not sure of yourself, people will also see that.
That’s what makes the difference between a successful leader and a non-confident follower. Everyone including you will always get attracted towards the strong person. No one wants to be around a weak one.
When you are confident, you will find your head high, your back straight and your chin up.
That does not mean you will have a high ego. On the contrary as mentioned earlier, only people with low self-confidence and low self-esteem has high egos.
Take the risk and trust yourself. Take the risk and believe in yourself and what you can achieve. Do what you feel right and don’t stop and think what others will say about that.
This is your life, and our life is really too short, shorter than you can ever imagine. Don’t waste your life trying to please anyone, or impress anyone. Just be you, be yourself, be confident, love your own being
And if you care a lot about impressing others, know for sure that just by being who you are, everyone around you will see that without you needing to prove anything. People can easily tell who is the strong confident person, and who is the weak, shaky one. And believe me, no one wants to be around a weak person. People automatically get attracted to the strong one.
So you don’t need to do any extra effort, just be you and free yourself from the constant worry to impress others.
Be yourself and the positive caring worthy people will appear automatically in your life without any extra effort. YS
Accept everything about yourself and always know that you are unique. You are who you are and no one can be you or will ever be you. When you compare yourself and your life to others, it will only end up in “Judging” either yourself or others, which is the worst thing that could ever happen.
The thing about comparison is that there is never a win. How often do we compare ourselves with someone less fortunate than us and consider ourselves blessed?
More often, we compare ourselves with someone who we perceive as being, having or doing more.
This will only leave you frustrated and will put huge amounts of negativity that will weigh you down and pull you back from being you who want to be.
Who you are today is based on the continuous decisions and actions and beliefs that you’ve taken before in the past and now in the present.
If these decisions were just based on comparison to others, you will never be satisfied with the outcomes or with your life.