In sensory acuity, the NLP practitioner is taught how to notice changes within their client, as people make minute changes from moment to moment. By noticing what is going on in the client, we can better serve our client. An example here could be as we acknowledge the client for an achievement and do something that could indicate they don’t agree. Example, they could give a very slight headshake and breathe in with a little raise of lip on the right side. This does not necessarily mean they don’t agree, but could be an indicator based on their normal behaviour. Amongst other things, we want to notice the changes in skin colour, skin tone, breathing, the lower lip size and the eyes, as well as anything else you can observe. By paying attention to the shifts in our clients, the coach can ensure that you are really in tune with your client.
Rapport is heavily spoken about in NLP and is a very important process, regardless if you are communicating one-on-one or with groups of people. It is very useful in all circumstances including business, coaching, therapy or education, as it helps to build a sense of trust and understanding of the other person. If you are in rapport with someone else, they trust you and you increase your trust and you’re caring about them. This leads to creating a win-win situation and not one of one-up-manship.
Before NLP, hypnotherapists spoke about rapport being a magical state where in the client hears only the hypnotherapist’s voice. With the help of NLP we can create rapport with anybody at any time through the process of matching and mirroring. Most people think of rapport as when people are talking about having the same friends or how they come from the same town or something like that where they have similarities in their life.
As we already know from the study that Robert Birdwhistle did about what makes up our communication, that roughly 7% are the words that we use, 38% is the tone of voice and 55% is communicated by our physiology. So we have another 93% of communication over just the words we use in our communicating with others. That means we have more choices and ability to build rapport with others. These included among other things posture, tonality, breathing, gestures and more. As a coach it is extremely important to be in rapport with your client and using the techniques in NLP will assist you in achieving this.
Listening to the client’s predicates, the words they use, is very useful in coaching. You may even notice the person’s eyes move in certain directions as we already looked at earlier in this article. An example could be somebody saying, “I don’t see what you mean.” (Moving their eyes up and to their right.)
Or, They may say something like, “It doesn’t sound right to me.” (Moving their eyes horizontally to their right.)
Or, They could say, “It does not get a good feeling from that.” (Moving their eyes down and to their right.)
By using the words people use we can build rapport and a better understanding of our client. Using their predicates also will help communicate better with the client so that they “get” what you mean. If you said to a visual person, “Does that sound right,” then they may say “No, I don’t see what you mean.” We want to use the words our clients use and what makes sense to them. Using their predicates will help your client to grasp what you are saying and help them.
Reframing is another tool used in NLP that is very useful in coaching. In reframing we can help the clients change their perspective. By changing the context, meaning or content you can change the meaning of something. An example here could be a client who said they were too tall. You could respond by saying how being really tall would be great if you wanted to be a Harlem Globetrotter. (Harlem Globetrotters are a famous basketball demonstration team.) We use reframing often during business when we answer objections. We also use reframing in coaching to help our clients shift their perspective.
So as we can see, there are many techniques used in NLP that can be used in coaching. There are many more examples of techniques that can enrich the coaching process to help the client achieve their results. Using any of these skills are easy to learn and easy to use and it is important to use them properly and in the right circumstance. It is not about having control over your client, but rather to assist your client in achieving their goals. It all boils down to your intention and what you want to achieve. Are you using your skills for god or evil?
As with everything, I would say there is not a one shoe fits all and no one specific type of modality, including NLP, is the be all and end all to help your client achieve results. It is simply another tool in your coaching tool belt.
I hope you enjoyed this article and find it useful to potentially use some of the techniques in your own coaching journey. Wayne Farrell