Research Paper By Vanessa Frongillo
(Career Coach, SWITZERLAND)
My passion for stories, the researches at university about narratives and the job in writing speeches are the file rouge of my curiosity and interest in investigating storytelling in coaching as the magic of our brain and our heart.
During the coaching session, telling a story is like watching a performance of oneself, where the client, as the speaker, is the main character of the story, but he/she also becomes the audience, as a listener of her/his own story when the coach is making the ‘mirror’ of the story told by the client.
The book of our life we read (live) every day is composed of stories. Only when we are listening back to ourselves (our story) in a coaching session does the meaning of ‘that moment’ emerge. When we (as a client) are looking for our situation, especially if during our storytelling, we decided to use metaphors and visualization.
Every time the client ends the coaching session, he/she becomes more conscious of his/her story, because he/she takes time to reflect on the words of his/her book’, is grateful to the coach introspectively for the questions and reframing and feels he/she is more activated to put into action what she/he has discovered and learned. As my colleague and my peer coaching partner[1] says “During the coaching, we tell a part of the storybook of our life, reporting it out loud gives a different echo”, I add that “the story is the same, we are the same storyteller, but the coaching session helps the client to see everything in a different way, more lightly more clearly”. This is what I call ‘magic’: the inexplicable before meeting a coach and telling him/her our story and the explicable by how our brain is activated by telling a story and our heart makes us transition from feeling good to be a greater person.
Introduction
The inner knowledge of each human, before we learn to speak, is thinking. During the day our brain is wired to thoughts, we are making up stories in our head because “evolution has wired our brain for storytelling”[2]. The human brain has paid attention to stories since ancient times, where people would listen to ‘myths’ and narratives that captured their attention and learned from them. Also, to explain ideas or enhance knowledge for children, storytelling is the easiest way used.
The world is made up of stories, we are the story with our identity, values, desires, relationships, fears, and actions. During the day we build stories in our heads, when we speak with other people we are telling them about our stories or we are involved in other stories. Each relationship is based on storytelling; social network has given us the opportunity to speak/write or get in contact with our friends all over the world, but they are also making us increasingly distant in our interpersonal relationships. But storytelling still remains, enforcing itself and transforming into ‘story writing’.People are sharing their daily lives on blogs, on Facebook or as pictures on Instagram. The way to tell the story has changed, but the need to share their own story has developed.
Social research
Storytelling has also become a topic of anthropological research as one of the best ways for marketing and selling a product. In fact, in 2009 to understand better the relevance and the effect of narration on people, there was a significant anthropological case study by Joshua Glenn and Rob Walker[3]. The two journalists bought hundreds of objects each at a cost of one dollar and they asked some creative writers to make up a story[4] for each of them: a small three-dollar metal boot appeared in a story of four Italian soldiers who, in 1861, found themselves fighting against Garibaldi; a wooden apple core became a poignant symbol of love that united a man with his terminally ill wife,etc.…
The objects, purchased initially for $1.25 a piece on average, having their own story was then sold on eBay for nearly $8,000.00 in total.
Scientific explanation
When we interact with a story (like a book, film, video or speech) we get involved with the emotions as if we were‘living’ that moment in our mind; we visualize ourselves, the background, other characters and we feel the emotions inside us. When we start to think, the left part of the brain is active and when we tell our story out loud, the right part is lit up. Both parts of the brain function and that means we start to feel the emotion and produce serotonin, the chemical, and neurotransmitter linked to happiness. Neuroscience studies show how the human brain responds positively to a ‘story’ more than facts. It depends on the emotions that a story brings out of us, listening to a story stimulates the auditory cortex of our brain. Each story has power over each of us, of our mind and our body. Storytelling connects people to each other.
My story
I have always been passionate about words, relationships, and communication; also, my studies and my researches at university were about the power of narratives and the choice of language used between people. My investigation and curiosity with regards to this topic have been enhanced by reading books and exploring the argument, the rhetoric and linguistics and also my interest in looking into the interaction between people, listening to their conversations and understanding their way of thinking. From the philosophers and writers of ancient Greek and Latin to nowadays the language and communication have been a topic of study for their magical and mysterious essence, which is an extraordinary and powerful weapon of all time. “You cannot communicate” Watzlawick quoted[5], which best represents the essence of our being. In this sense, I consider storytelling the communication between our ‘inner world’ and the ‘external world’, as the externalization of ourselves. The stories give us a big opportunity to ‘shape’ the meaning of our lives. We are the author, the main character of the story but also the listener, in both ways we can always learn and produce new stimuli.
As a ghost-writer and spin-doctor, I should ‘enter’ the mind of my clients and begin to tell their stories. Each story should be responsive to what the public wants to hear, ‘live’ in that moment of storytelling, the desire, the beliefs and the vision of a ‘better future’. Empathy, a great sense of listening and capturing the details of each clients’ personalities, are the most important abilities I have had to enhance during my working experience as a ghost-writer and spin-doctor. Each time I meet my clients I have to understand their needs, asking the right questions to let them tell their story. It was not always easy. Sometimes, the ‘leaders’ have no time to spend talking about themselves, so I have to carry out a thorough research about them and their lives, to discover some details which could be the ‘key point’ to define the ‘accent’ of their speeches or writing. During my experience, I have noticed that since people want to ‘show’ only their “face”[6] they wear a mask, as Erving Goffman says “We are all just actors trying to control and manage our public image. We act based on how others might see us”[7]. I notice, when my clients start to tell a ‘story’ about themselves, the ‘energy’ of their story has more power on me as a listener, as if I were listening to catchy music and dancing. This always happens when my clients start to tell their own story to an audience, becoming more trusting and gaining greater consent from the audience. If we just think about the advertisements, the most influential are those which tell a story.
I decided to become a coach when I experienced, as a client, the magical transformation of my state of mind after a coaching session, thanks to the role of the coach and the power of storytelling. Now, as a coach, I can see how the power of storytelling during the coaching session has changed my clients, how they are more conscious, aware, grateful and acknowledge their selves.
Storytelling in Coaching
The coaching literature on storytelling is correlated to the social, medical and organizational researches since the narrative is seen as “the foundation of discursive thought and the possibility of acting in common”[8]. The narration, in fact, is the human communication between two or more parties where the ‘storytelling’ becomes the start of acting: “the use of stories is a powerful communication tool in organizational actors to take action” (Brown et al., 2004; Denning 2001; 2005; Neuhauser, 1993)[9].
The relationship in the social, medical and organizational setting is between a professional and his/her client (teacher and his/her student, therapist and his/her client, consultant and his/her client) and in some way it is similar to the coach and his/her coachee. There are only a few studies inherent to the effectiveness of narratives in the coaching processes, also the importance of storytelling as the main tool of communication between client and coach. A lot of them are linked to the psychological and psychotherapeutic approaches.
Prof. David B. Drake[10] is the pioneer of using‘storytelling/narratives’ in coaching as “narrative coaching is a mindful, experiential and integrative approach that helps people make real change in real-time using their own stories”[11]. As Drake writes, the stories have a huge potential for people “to create new possibilities and new results. It is based on the rites of passage framework and support change as a natural human process. … It enables people to get to the crux of their issues quickly and provides a structure for the emergence of their resolution”[12]. I consider Drake’s metaphor of ‘threshold to be one of the most beautiful images that explain the potential of telling a story. As I write in the following paragraph about My idea of storytelling the “threshold “[13]gives the opportunity to enter into a story for a client and for the coach to be present and be welcomed into the “inner world” of the client. Thanks to the coach’s mirror the client could tell a “new story” and making “a significant change in themselves and/or his/her life[14]:
Thresholds call everything into question, require us to walk through the doorway of unknowing, and open us up in the end to more than we thought possible[15] David B. Drake.
Also, I find the approach and contributions of Lisa Bloom[16] in storytelling and narrative coaching interesting. She states that storytelling in the coaching process has power for both coach and client, each of them tells their story.
As a coach, we tell our story to the client in our introductory conversation in order to establish and reach the coaching agreement. The coach’s story deals with:
As a client, we say out loud what we have already said in our minds. The client’s story deals with:
I have just mentioned these two experts, researchers, and specialists in the field of storytelling and narrative coaching since I have taken some details from each to develop my idea of storytelling.
My idea of storytelling
In my vision of coaching the client is at the center of the session, the coach is the ‘mirror’ of the client’s storytelling, with paraphrases or questions, the client with his/her own story is the author, the main character and the ‘mirror’s listener’. The power of the coaching session is that a client is a person, a storyteller with a name, with his/her identity, beliefs, desires, fears, ideas, etc… in every context we live in we are only numbers, human resources, funny images; nowadays we live ‘personless’. The coaching gives empowerment to the unique and actionable person, who is the client.
Since I have been studying and working to become a coach, I have used my passion for language and communication to be a better listener and to accompany the client through her/his own topic of the session and I really have seen the big importance of being a storyteller’.
For me, the storytelling in coaching is the entire session when the client starts with his/her own topic and thoughts about what he/she wants to discuss, resolves, complains about or just understands more.
During the day we are continuously thinking, but only when we speak out loud do we start to figure out our thoughts and become more conscious of what’s happening in our world. The power of the questions of the coach is in the‘switching’ in the client’s mind from “what I have thought” to “this is the real world expressed by my inner will”.
The agreement questions of the coach explore the client’s ‘current world’ and they are the foundations to start the communication between coach and client. The agreement between the speaker and the listener is important during the coaching session since the client should let the coach accompany him/her during the storytelling to understand the topic. The coach, with the agreement, is sure to focus the questions on the right knot the client wants to untie. From my experience, as a coach and as a client, I have seen that the ‘coaching agreement questions’ help to tell a story: I, as a storyteller, do not have the right awareness of ‘what’ really happens in ‘that moment’ in ‘my world’.
In the coaching process, the storytelling is the basis of the relationship between coach and client, since it involves trust, openness, and lightness. If the entire process of coaching is storytelling, then there is a specific moment during the session when there is a transformation of the same story from the ‘inner world’ to the ‘new world’, thanks to the coach’s role who uses reframing, powerful questions, the metaphors of the clients and the acknowledgment of the transformation. In this way, the storytelling of the ‘new world’ brings in the client’s awareness and self-understanding of the actual situation. Therefore, the actions are more likely to be successful and the client will be able to celebrate their own success.
As the storytelling is like reading a book, watching a film or listening to a story, it is important to answer at the “Five Ws”[17], letting the client ‘see’ more about ‘her/his world’:
I consider the storytelling process during the coaching like a ‘big eye’ that I call “Storytelling eye”, wherefrom the beginning to the end of the meeting between client and coach, there is a process of change: of language, of mind, of the world and of the inner parts of the client.
It is like our eyes trying to focus in on the darkness: firstly, we don’t see anything; then we begin to focus, slowly, on each detail and in the end, our eyes can see everything, also in the dark. In coaching, the coach helps the client through storytelling, the use of language, visualization, reframing, and powerful questions to change his/her situation or himself/herself to become more accountable, aware, consciousness and to acknowledge. Finally, the client takes action and celebrates his/her transformation. The vision is a new world.
During the storytelling, there are two important steps that help the client to enhance his/her consciousness: visualization and metaphor. I have already mentioned the correlation between the narration (Storytelling)with my chosen power tool (MetaphoricLanguage vs Plain Language) and my coaching model (VisualAction).
Storytelling is a conveying of events in words and in images, through the visualization, the thoughts are replaced in our brain as an image. Similarly, the words used in the metaphor are the symbolic transposition of the image. Like a mountain reflecting in the lake.
Using metaphors, the brain develops an ‘image’ of a willing world, to be more conscious and recognizes the desires and the needs. As I have experienced during my coaching sessions, the metaphors are the power tool of learning, development, consciousness, and accountability.
One example of using storytelling during my coaching session with some ‘working instruments’ is letting the client find some pictures that he/she thinks important for his/her situation. The client builds up a puzzle with the chosen pictures, from which he/she tells the story of the puzzle’[19]. It has always been wonderful for me as a coach to discover how the client feels after this ‘working instrument’ and the feedback I receive from her/his storytelling. The magic happens in the brain and in the heart of my client, he/she feels more conscious and happier.
Your story
I am wondering, now, about your story. Be curious to tell me, as your coach, your story. Using visualization and metaphors, discover the magic of your brain and your heart, feeling yourself going from good to great!
Bibliography
Bloom, Lisa. Cinderella and the Coach – the Power of Storytelling for Coaching Success. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2011
Drake, David. B. Narrative Coaching. The definitive guide to bringing new stories to life. Petaluma, CA: CNC Press, 2018
Goffman, Erving. The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. Garden City: Doubleday, 1959
Louis Molet e Erving Goffman.Interaction Ritual — Essay on Face-to-Face behavior,in Anthropologica, vol. 14, nº 1, 1972
Giroux Nicole and LissetteMarroquin. L’approche narrative des organizations. Revue française de gestion. 2005/6 – no 159
Reissner, Stefanie. Narrative and Story: New perspectives on coaching. International Journal of Mentoring and Coaching, Vol. 6, No. 3, Dec 1, 2008
Watzlawick Paul, BeavinJanet HelmickandJackson Don D. Pragmatics of Human Communication. New York: WW Norton & Co, 1967
[1] Moira Mori is a life coach and student of International Coaching Academy
[2]WidrichLeo.The Science of Storytelling: What Listening to a Story Does to Our Brains, Nov 29, 2012. Last visited 17 January 2020 https://buffer.com/resources/science-of-storytelling-why-telling-a-story-is-the-most-powerful-way-to-activate-our-brains
[3]“Significant objects”. Last visited on 17 January 2020, http://significantobjects.com/
[4]Ibidem footnote 3
[5]Watzlawick Paul, Beavin Janet Helmick and Jackson Don D. Pragmatics of Human Communication. New York: WW Norton & Co, 1967
[6]“The term «face» can be defined as the positive social value a person effectively claims for himself by the line others assume he has taken during a particular contact”. Louis Molet e Erving Goffman, Interaction Ritual — Essay on Face-to-Face behavior, in Anthropologica, vol. 14, nº 1, 1972
[7]Goffman, Erving. The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. Garden City: Doubleday, 1959
[8]Giroux Nicole and Lissette Marroquin. L’approche narrative des organizations. Revue française de gestion. 2005/6 – no 159
[9]In Reissner, Stefanie. Narrative and Story: New perspectives on coaching. International Journal of Mentoring and Coaching, Vol. 6, No. 3, Dec 1, 2008
[10] He has a Ph.D. in Human and Organizational Development from Fielding Graduate University in California and has written more the 50 books about Narrative Coaching. He is also the founder of the Moment Institute Narrative Coaching
[11]Drake, David. B. Narrative Coaching. The definitive guide to bringing new stories to life. Petaluma, CA: CNC Press, 2018
[12]“Narrative Coaching” Prof. David B. Drake on Moment Institute. Last visited on 17 January 2020
[13] Ibidem footnote 10
[14]Ibidem footnote 10
[15]Ibidem footnote 10
[16]Bloom, Lisa. Cinderella and the Coach – the Power of Storytelling for Coaching Success. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2011
[17]“Five Ws” Wikipedia. Last visited on 17 January 2020, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Ws
[18] I prefer not to use “why”, as I noticed that sometimes it is leading. Also, during the coaching lesson, my mentor and teacher advised me to avoid using“why” and instead use“what is the reason”, to be more impartial during the questioning
[19] I call it this