4. Coaching Applications:
A. Tool for the Client to Figure out if the Fear is Real or Imagined (Unhealthy)
These are questions to ask your client or have them ask themselves to find out if their fear is real or imagined:
- Is it inherent fear or man made fear?
- Is their fear based on fact or fiction?
- Is it probable or improbable? Meaning, is it really likely to come true?
- Can anything be done to diminish the risk of the fear? For example, preparation.
- Is the fear personal or impersonal? Are they afraid of their abilities, or lack thereof, or someone else’s reaction or response?
- Is what they fear necessary or unnecessary? For example, is it someone they want to confront but are afraid to? And, if they don’t, will the fear continue? Sooner or later the fear must be addressed.
- Is it fear of moving forward? Is it the unknown that they fear and therefore find it hard to move forward?
B. Helping the Client have Courage to Question the Fear
If looked at closely, it is found that a vast majority of fears never come to pass and those that do aren’t as bad as first thought. This is where courage comes in to question the fear. When confronted with a fear, the first thing to have the client do is to stop and take some deep breathes. Breathing relaxes the body and removes the tension that the fear is creating. Now, ask your client or have your client ask themselves the following questions:
- Where is the fear coming from?
- Is it true?
- Is it based in reality?
- If the fear were to become reality, would the experience really be as bad as you have been thinking it would be?
- Can you reframe the fear and is it possible that the experience may actually help you gain something from facing the feared event?
- Is it possible that if I change my thinking now I can actually create what I want instead of being fearful?
By asking questions about fear, the client will come to understand them. Soon, fears will no longer be able to take the client by surprise and they will learn how to face them, get through them and be able to move on from them or know how to deal with them when they appear.