http://www.slowdownfast.com/tips-for-setting-boundaries-in-your-life-and-work/ David B Bohl
Conclusion
By taking the time to know oneself and identify your values you have the power to change your world. It gives you a starting point that enables you to align yourself with your values. Now you can set goals and create action plans that will lead you to success in any key area you choose. Being true to yourself gives you the courage and the freedom to set healthy boundaries, enabling you to live a life of balance and harmony full of truth and happiness. By identifying your values and setting healthy boundaries you have created a happier and more fulfilling life.
References
Bohl David, B Burney, Robert http://joy2meu.com/Personal_Boundaries.htm
Coach Lee available online at www.coachlee.com
Evans, Melanie available online at www.melanietoniaevans.com/articles/setting-boundaries.htm
Hay Louise “You Can Heal Your Life”Carlsbad, Ca Hay House Ratzenberger John Roteach Milton (1973) Palvina Steve
Appendix A
Exercise
Do Your Boundaries Need Work?
How capable are you of keeping the good in and the bad out?
Ask yourself - do you:
- Struggle to have your own preferences. For example when asked ‘what do you want to eat tonight?’ do you say ‘I don’t care whatever you want?’
- Burn up emotional energy on things outside of your control?
- Allow others to intimidate you without speaking up?
- Ignore your own uncomfortable feelings and try to fix or change other peoples’ uncomfortable feelings?
- Say "Yes" to people and situations because it’s easier?
- Feel guilty when trying to say "No"?
- Let misunderstandings pass you by – hoping for the best?
- Have trouble accepting support and gifts?
- Tell people what they want to hear rather than speaking the truth?
- Tolerate aspects of your life that you know don’t match your values?
- Fix other people’s problems for them regardless of feeling uncomfortable?
- Take the blame for other people’s problems?
- Put up with certain people’s behavior because you are scared of losing their affection or approval?
- Put up with a job because you are scared of losing security?
- Say "Yes" because you are fearful of disapproval?
- Have a high tolerance for inapplicable situations and people, and/or
- Fight and ‘hook into’ inapplicable situations and people?
- Have individuals in your life who aren’t taking responsibility for themselves who you feel responsible for?
- Often feel depressed, exhausted and unsupported?
- Have trouble speaking up and asking for support?
- Find it difficult to identify who you are, what you stand for and what you' will and won’t tolerate – and back it up with courage and action?
- Attract rude, arrogant and manipulative people?
- Attract criticism, persecution and lack of support?
- Often feel like you are overly sensitive to other people’s energy and tend to take on ‘their stuff'?
Results
18 or over:
If you have said "Yes" to this many of the questions, you have severe boundary dysfunction. You have a condition known as ‘reverse boundaries’.
You are saying "Yes" to the bad, and "No" to the good. You have little sense of ‘who you are’ and have in fact taken on ‘who everyone else is’.
You are constantly getting enmeshed and controlled by life and people outside of you and have very little awareness of how to be empowered and navigate your life. Quanta Freedom™ Healing work is strongly suggested as you have many internal ‘less than’ beliefs creating this disempowerment. Self-mastery training is also necessary. You are suffering grave lack of self-esteem and depression as a result of the breaches
14-17:
You have limited ability to create an empowered life. It is difficult to attach yourself to the work and goals that are meaningful for you. You feel controlled by life and other people and are putting up with many aspects that feel uncomfortable and even overwhelming. Self-work is necessary to correct the problems.
6-13:
Even though you do have the ability to say "No" to certain areas of your life, there are still times when you give in to keep the peace. Learn to be more assertive and definite.
3-5:
You have the ability to honor yourself and create an empowered life. There is however, still room for improvement!
0-2:
You’re a powerful person who knows how to set boundaries and honor yourself. You’re a great example who facilitates good boundary awareness and empowerment for others. Keep up the great work! http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/articles/setting-boundaries.htm