C. Self-Leadership
Last but not least Nonviolent Communication® can help coaches master some of the challenging situations which can arise in coaching processes without external supervision. This can be situations in which coaches sense discomfort when thinking of a client, situations in which they feel insecure, tense, concerned, skeptical or dissatisfied. If coaches take time to manage their mental state and reflect such situations using NVC®, they identify what they have observed, how they feel about it, what they need and how they want to deal with it (the four steps described in the table under
1.). When they move through this self-empathy process they have a chance to recognize that they have, for instance, tried to get the client somewhere, or that they have perceived the client as someone who is not able to solve their problems. When coaches use NVC® for self-reflection they can avoid the rescuer- or persecutor-trap (Rautenberg & Rogoll 1992, pp. 112-152) or at least quickly emerge from it. Being able to manage their own mental state is a pre-condition for coaches for sincere feedback as described under 4.B. It is also essential in order to endure their emotionally strenuous work healthy and joyfully (Binnewies & Dormann 2010). Self-empathy can help coaches disband blockades, accelerate their own learning and improve the quality of their work.
5. Bibliography
Binnewies, C & Dormann, C 2010, ‘Emotionen und Coaching’, Coaching Magazin, 2/2010, pp. 46-50
Migge, B 2005, ‘Handbuch Coaching und Beratung’, Beltz Verlag, Weinheim und Basel
Posé, U 2010, ‘Ethisches Missverständnis: Aufrichtig ist, wer ehrlich ist‘, managerSeminare, April 2010, no. 145
Radatz, S 2006, ‘Einführung in das systemische Coaching‘, Carl-Auer Verlag, Heidelberg
Rautenberg, W & Rogoll, R 1992, ‘Werde, der du werden kannst – Persönlichkeitsentfaltung durch Transaktionsanalyse‘, 16th edn, Verlag Herder, Freiburg im Breisgau
Rosenberg, M 2000, ‘Nonviolent Communication – A Language of Compassion’, 3rd edn, PuddleDancer Press, Encinitas, CA
Scharmer, O 2007, ‘Addressing the blind Spot of our Time’, executive summary of ‘Theory U: Leading from the Future as It emerges’, Presencing Institute, Cambridge, MA, viewed 23 April 2012, http://www.presencing.com/sites/default/files/page- files/Theory_U_Exec_Summary.pdf
Schmidt-Tanger, M 2004, ‘Gekonnt coachen – Präzision und Pro-vocation im Coaching‘, Junfermann Verlag, Paderborn
Von Schumann, K 2008, ‘Praxisrelevante Erkenntnisse aus der Forschung – Qualitätssicherung im Coaching’, CoachGuide, 2008, pp. 18-23
Wehrle, M 2011 a, ‘Der Tribünenplatz‘, Trainingaktuell, Oktober 2011, pp. 20-21.
Wehrle, M 2011 b, ‘Die Leiter der Abstraktion‘, Trainingaktuell, November 2011, pp. 20-22.