An important aspect is that clients understand that they are not alone in experiencing these feelings. Once they recognise this, it allows them to see the resulting doubts, fears and shame as human and universal. They can then accept these feelings, share them more openly and remain self-compassionate. This can be particularly difficult for men in societies where they are conditioned to be “strong” and able to “manage their emotions”. However, not addressing the issue and suppressing the feelings instead, could lead to fragmented participation in life, whilst also risking their mental and physical well-being.
For the coach, it is important to ascertain whether the client is showing signs of low self-esteem or Imposter syndrome. These may present in similar ways on the surface and the distinction is unlikely to become apparent until deeper level work confirms whether the client is able to own their successes or not. If the distinction is missed, self-esteem issues may successfully be addressed, but the root of the difficulty will not be dealt with, and the same imposter syndrome feelings will persist.
Uncovering the Mask
One of the characteristics of imposter syndrome is the presentation of a false self in order to be liked or accepted. Coaching needs to facilitate the strengthening and surfacing of the client’s true inner self, by offering a space where all aspects of the client are warmly accepted, their inner world is empathetically and non-judgmentally understood and they are genuinely affirmed. Role-plays and exercises to risk being their authentic selves can be useful here.
Approach to work & Goals
Exploring how clients approach work can detect imposter feelings. For example, are they being overly demanding about the way a task is performed? Are they aiming to be “the one” who completes the task? Are they striving to be the expert in that field? Is their timeframe realistic? Typically, imposters see themselves as incompetent if they do not score high on all those aspects. So, an important step in overcoming impostor syndrome would be to adopt more realistic expectations of themselves.
Related to this would be reviewing goals the client is aiming for. Are they realistic and attainable? If they seem overly ambitious, it would be interesting to understand the reasons behind setting such high standards. Are they perhaps stuck in the imposter syndrome behavior self-perpetuation loop?
Connection to Childhood
Since imposter syndrome may have developed from childhood, bringing awareness to this would be very valuable. Clients may discover that it was during their early years that they were encouraged to prove they were bright and adopt behaviors specifically to win approval. Perhaps their sense of self-worth got tied up with their performance and other peoples’ opinions of them. Clients can explore their fears of failure which make their concerns about their performance disproportionately troublesome. These concerns are very likely to come from feelings of inadequacy and shame and would undoubtedly shape their attempts for achievement in the present. They can be asked how their beliefs serve them now and how they could be without these shackles. Work here would include uncovering underlying beliefs, exploring values around self-worth, acknowledging internal needs such as validation, building robust inner resources by taking ownership of achievements and focusing on behavioral change.
Summary
General awareness about imposter syndrome grows rapidly with mass media coverage, professionals writing and running workshops on it, and references being made to it in popular publications such as Sheryl Sandberg ‘s “Lean In”, Susan Pinker’s “The Sexual Paradox: Troubled Boys, Gifted Girls and the Real Difference Between the Sexes” and Oprah’s “O” Magazine.
While organisations continue to devise innovative strategies aimed at drawing women in from a massive untapped talent pool, and also encourage their career development, such strategies would benefit from including specific efforts to bring increased awareness about imposter feelings and, further, offer support to anyone that requires it.
Coaching for imposter syndrome can be very successful, given time and a commitment to change. Over time, as clients’ sense of self-worth is disentangled from their performance, and as they begin to own their successes, they can gradually allow themselves to trust in their abilities. In doing so, the enormous burden of feeling like a fraud is lifted and life can be lived fully, enjoying the successes they truly believe they have achieved.
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