Fast-forward ten years. Kelee is at boarding school. She is still in the minority. She is a member of the choir. Even though she has a beautiful voice each time she has been invited to sing the solo part she declined. She did not have the confidence to stand in front of a group. Neither did she develop the confidence to believe in her self. When others put her down she did not stand up for herself. She just walked away from the situation.
Kelee is now 40 years old. As an adult, Kelee is fairly independent. She is married and has two great kids. She is a working mom and seems to have everything under control. She has many terrific ideas but has failed to act on them and see them through to fruition. She has started many projects but somewhere along the way she discontinues them. She Her secret dream has always been to become a solo artist but she doesn’t believe she is good enough. She doesn’t have the courage to make a test recording. She doesn’t even sing in church. Although she hasn’t shared in a meaningful way what happened in primary and secondary school, on any given day, in a quiet moment she recalls the instances of her classmates that made her feel that she was not as good as the other children or the doubts that were engendered that others deem as a shy stance.
I believe that Kelee is stalled in self -limiting beliefs. Her inner critic informs her present beliefs and actions. She views the world through tainted lens. Her beliefs have become her “truths.” It has become such a part of her identity that she believes it is too hard to change now. That in its self is a limiting belief.
Look at the above image. For me it depicts how humans acquire limiting beliefs that eventually become walls in our life experiences. Each brick represents a belief in our life experience. Each thought was repeated over and over (bricks) until they became a reality and hence a belief. They became the fabric (or the bricks) of our life; the stronger the beliefs the higher the wall. These beliefs began when one was a child. Depending on the number of limiting beliefs we embrace, will depend on how high our wall will become. The blue lines show how we operate behind the wall. There is the feeling of not being enough, not having enough, not deserving success or having to work hard for money. There is no attempt to surpass the wall but to operate in the limiting space. Yet the green line shows when one takes risks and moves forward they are able to achieve unlimited potential. With the support of a coach clients can eliminate old habits and create new ones that can empower them to realize their desired success.