Theologically, forgiveness cannot be understood outside of the context of God’s forgiveness (Soares-Prabhu, 1986; Rubio, 1986) or without reference to sin and evil (Sobrino, 1986). Forgiveness of the offender may be understood from a pastoral theological perspective as something that is discovered in the process of her healing, an understanding of forgiveness that does not reduce it to something to be achieved or a behavioral technique to reduce pain (Patton, 1985).
The Bible defines forgiveness similarly: to send away, let alone, or set aside to emotions. Feelings can be stirred substantially in situations pertaining to forgiveness, but forgiveness, at its core, involves a choice. Such a choice is a matter of the will. Thus, biblical forgiveness rests on the power of a purposeful decision as opposed to the intensity of strong emotions.
The Bible goes much further than defining forgiveness simply as a choice. God’s Word presents forgiveness in the context of sacrifice, a perspective that greatly Impacts the decision to forgive. Since biblical forgiveness has a spiritual basis, only certain people can faithfully forgive as the Bible teaches. These persons must first respond to God’s love that is preeminently displayed by the sacrificial death of Jesus Christ (Romans 5:6-10).
In the Old Testament god is depicted as merciful. He is described as
slow to anger and abounding in love/mercy., compassionate and gracious
(Exod 34:6; Num 14:18, Neh 9:17, Pslam 86:15, 103:8, 145:8, joet 2:13, john 4:2)
Dumortier (1993) describes forgiving as being able to envision a future that would not be a prolongation of the past and, at the same time that the past exists and is a part of one’s life. He sees the strength of the present and the strength of forgiveness as residing in the tension between an inerasable past and the promise of the future. In his view, forgiveness opens one to the promise of the future through a God of mercy and a God of forgiveness.
Patton (1985), from a pastoral theological perspective, addresses this issue raised by Hubaut in his work Is Human Forgiveness Possible? Patton describes human forgiveness as:
not doing something but discovering something – that I am more like those who have hurt me than different from them.I am able to forgive when I discover that I am in no position to forgive. Although the experience of God’s forgiveness may involve confession of, and the sense of being forgiven for, specific sins, at its heart it is the recognition of my reception into the community of sinners – those affirmed by God as his children. (p.16)
Thus for Patton’s forgiveness is something that one discovers. The view of forgiveness as discovery is different from traditional theological understandings of forgiveness (as well as some of the emerging psychological formulations), that focus on forgiveness being an act or an attitude, something that one does or has, reducing forgiveness “theologically into a work of achievement, and psychologically into a behavioral technique of reducing the pain of self-injury” (Patton, 1985, p.185).
In Islam, part of our being human is also that we make mistakes. Sometime we make mistakes without deliberation and intention. But sometime we knowingly and deliberately sin and do wrong to others. It is said,
To err is human and to forgive is divine.
Both parts of this statement are very true. As human beings we are responsible, but we do also make mistakes and we are constantly in need of forgiveness. Islam speaks about two aspects of forgiveness: a) Allah’s forgiveness; b) Human forgiveness. We need both, because we do wrong in our relations to Allah as well as in our relations to each other.
Just as it is important to believe in the mercy and forgiveness of Allah, it is also necessary to base human relations on forgiveness. We cannot expect Allah’s forgiveness unless we also forgive those who do wrong to us. Forgiving each other, even forgiving one’s enemies is one of the most important Islamic teachings. In the Qur’an Allah has described the Believers as “those who avoid major sins and acts of indecencies and when they are angry they forgive.” (al-Shura 42:37) Later in the same Surah Allah says,
The reward of the evil is the evil thereof, but whosoever forgives and makes amends, his reward is upon Allah.
(al-Shura 42:40)
In one of the Hadiths the Prophet –peace be upon him– said that Allah has commanded him about nine things. One of them he mentioned was
that I forgive those who do wrong to me.
Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance towards a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. Forgiveness is a choice not to take revenge but to answer back in a loving way giving up the right to hurt back (Pingleton, 1989). It is the idea of replacing the negative behavior towards the offender with positive behavior for one’s own benefit. Leavis B. Semedas, the Christian author said in his famous book, The Art of Forgivrness,
When we forgive, we set a prisoner free, and discover that the prisoner we set free is us.
Enright and Human Development Study Group propose that forgiveness is the overcoming of negative affect and judgment toward the offender, not by denying ourselves the right to such affect and judgment, but by endeavoring to view the offender with benevolence compassion, and even love. Walters (1984) also sees forgiveness as a voluntary process that usually requires courage and multiple act of the will to complete. He views forgiveness as an essential process due to the destructiveness of not forgiving and asserts that to forgive is to give up all claims on the offender including letting go of the emotional consequences of the hurt.
On the other hand, Gartner (1988) contends that mature forgiveness is definitively not the replacing of negative hateful feelings with loving feelings and thus would appear to be in disagreement with Enright definition of forgiveness. He defined mature forgiveness from an object relation perspective, as an integrated realistic view that contains both good and bad aspects of self and others.
Forgiveness is further described in the psychological literature as: a powerful therapeutic intervention and as an intellectual exercise in which the patient makes a decision to forgive (Fitzgibbons, 1986); a voluntary act and a decision and choice about how one deals with the past (Hope, 1987); a letting-go of a record of wrongs and a need for vengeance and releasing associated negative feelings such as bitterness and resentment (DiBlasio, 1992); the accomplishment of mastery over a wound and the process through which an injured person first fights off, then embraces, then conquers a situation that nearly destroyed him (Flanigan, 1992); both intrapsychic and interpersonal (Benson, 1992); and giving up one’s right to hurt back (Pingleton, 1989).
Other definitions of forgiveness from a psychological perspective include aspects of the Enright definition, would add that a truly comprehensive definition of forgiveness would need to integrate not only the cognitive, affective and behavioral components, but also the volitional, motivational, spiritual, religious and interpersonal aspects of forgiveness.