Our Coaching Journey
We began our coaching relationship towards end of April 2013, completing sis meaningful sessions uptil June 2013 end. We had 1+6 (Chemistry session at the start) face-to-face sessions (each of 1 hour minimum) spread over these three months. RD has chosen to
go out, spread her wings as a newly emerged butterfly and flutter.
She has asked me to be available for her second phase work which she intends to start sometime in October 2013.
ICF Competencies & GROW Model At Work
At Various Stages Of Coaching Journey
Foundation … GOAL & REALITY
Greetings, celebration , asked for permission , clearing of space
Confidentiality assurance during every session
Established coaching agreement … sessions scheduling, logistics, venue, fee etc.
Listened deeply, wholly and attentively … built rapport & comfort or relating
Paraphrased well to develop understanding of her Issue & Coaching Goal
Exploration , Communication & Facilitation … REALITY & OPTIONS
Asked for permission , as and how required
Remained present, open, receptive and flowing at all times
Listened deeply, attentively and with whole body respect
Was perceptive of client’s concerns, state and struggle
Paraphrased & built shared clarity
Stayed in touch with my own inner state and emerging intuitive sensing
Asked questions that helped client shift perspective, be curious about her own state, generate insights/possibilities from within and move towards action
Worked with a range of approaches & tools , as per client’s state, pace & flow
Used simple language; clarified wherever I had difficulty in understanding
Used metaphor and analogies wherever appropriate and flowing with the process
Acknowledged ; Used humour & creativity … Leveraged client’s strengths (she is a natural painter) in choosing tools & approaches
Stayed dis-passionate and separated (occasionally RD tried to hook me for advising or sharing my knowledge as Shadow Expert , which she had seen as my Workshop participant) … I maintained my role & responsibility as Coach with awareness & commitment in a creative, respectful way, without ruffling her
Was effective in handling strong emotions … explored around them with sensitivity and understanding, staying un-entangled
Helped the client explore deeper underlying patterns and beliefs and discover for herself her deeper emotions, thoughts, desires and inherent wisdom
Insights & Actions … WRAP-UP & WAY-FORWARD
Helped her think through her options and identify possibilities and alternatives
Engage her in creatively selecting the solution that appealed her
Support her spirit and act of experimentation
Encouraged her for specific action planning & doing
Kept track of her progress while encouraging her to own her journey and be accountable to herself
Acknowledged and celebrated her wins
Celebrated as well as challenged her, as and how appropriate
The Coaching Process
I shaped my coaching work with RD primarily in sync with ICF competencies and GROW model, broadly as follows …
A. Chemistry Session – as explained above.
B. Contracting (akin to Goal & Reality , per GROW Model)
Followed ethics of greeting, assuring confidentiality, clearing the space (disengaging with our previous relationship as trainer-participant), thanking her for choosing to work with me and generally setting the context.
Explored, listened, paraphrased, clarified to understand her issue and help her define her coaching outcome. The following goals were set by her …
Understand the process underlying her feeling like a little scared girl inside beneath her confident, successful professional persona
Understand and work upon her irritable and critical self
C. Communicating (akin to Reality and Option , per GROW Model)
Issue Exploration … Asked questions that helped RD think deep, generate awareness from within and shift her perspective
Coaching Presence … Stayed tuned in, flowed with RD as per her pace, path and rhythm; accessed my intuitive inner voice; paused and held silence as and when helpful ; stayed open and acceptant ; understood RD’s state and her issues with fresh eyes ; created and held a space of ‘allowing’
Coaching Tools … Please see under ‘Tools at work’ below
Insight & Action … patiently engaged with her as she explored various ideas and insights to create awareness and shift perspective ; acknowledged and encouraged her creativity as she explored alternatives ; gently spurred her on to stay put and be perseverant with her exploration and find & pursue the option that her inner self flowed the best with
D. Concluding (akin to Wrap-up or Way-forward , per GROW Model)
Planning & acting … supported & encouraged her to create a plan, identify activities in pursuit of her change process, invoked her sense of accountability and willingness to own her action plan & progress
Followed up, encouraged and celebrated her progress
Tools at work
I used a variety of coaching tools as explained below …
Perceptual position, Role-play … were used to help RD understand the other people’s (specifically her father & mother-in-law) predicament when they are caught in a tough situation with her. This helped her generate deeper awareness about the impact of her thoughts and actions on significant others in her life. This also helped her shift and broaden her perspective.
Powerful Questions … were asked to help her perceive her situation and processes with fresh eyes, suspending her harsh views about herself and others. This helped her soften her stance and approach , be gentle on herself, accept & affirm herself , thereby enhancing her ability to accept & affirm others
Visualization … this worked amazingly well with her because of her naturally artistic orientation and strong visual skills. Her imageries were strong and she created several beautiful paintings of her own. I encouraged her to create her
metaphor and document her exploration as a pictorial journal (some day she aspires to expand her coaching journal as a book)
Responsibility vs Blame … she blamed her father for most problematic attitudes of hers. This tool helped her accept her life situations as being her own, thereby helping her take responsibility to correct what she wanted to
Flow vs fixate (my own power tool) … She used to often get stuck with her own negative engagement with herself.
Such times her impatience with herself used to drive her to find quick solutions, which she would also quickly reject herself. This tool helped her to value, learn and practice the ability to pause and live in the seemingly still but creative void spells & spaces in the course of her exploration