B) For Self Regulation of one’s Emotions :
- Are we able to “harmonize” our rational mind with the emotional mind? Do we give the rational side time to temper our feelings when needed?
- Do we “harmonize” /accept responsibility for choosing our own emotional responses?
- Do we learn to “harmonize” / reframe stressful situations into ones that are challenging / engaging?
- Are we aware of and manage/ “harmonize” our own emotional triggers?
C) For Self Motivation :
- Are we aware of what we find inspirational ie. What engages us “in spirit’?
- Do we direct /”harmonize” the power of our emotions, towards a purpose which will inspire and motivate us?
- Do we visualize achieving a goal which enable us to understand and take the necessary steps to get there?
- Are we self motivated enough to “harmonize”/accept change and be more flexible?
- Do we recognize the emotions that affect our performance?
- When a setback strikes, do we ask ourselves “what’s wrong with me? “ and engage in disharmony with self or do we ask “what ‘s right with me or what do I have that I can work with in this situation” and engage with harmony?
The optimal outcome, that the “Harmony Quotient” approach, using powerful questioning in coaching can facilitate, is that of transformation, a new awakening.
It helps the client to recognize deeper fundamentals about himself / herself and address deeper questions that the client may never have addressed before. These deeper fundamentals and questions if addressed in coaching can lead to transformation.
An exploration and study of these personally and professionally, over 18 years have led me to the focus on certain areas that facilitate and optimize the “Harmony Quotient” of our lives. This I believe, should the time be right, if worked with in Coaching, would give optimal outcomes of a deep and transformational kind. These areas are –
- Facilitating the awareness for the client of “Who am I ?” How does the client recognize himself / herself ? Are they able to see themselves in all that it is possible for them to see? I find that the usage of the “Appreciative Inquiry” framework, can be very powerful in supporting the client to arrive at this. Focusing on the clients strengths, talents, values, uniqueness and facilitating self appreciation while being appreciative as a coach as well, can be very powerful. The simple reason for this is that most often we do not live in an appreciative climate nor may we have grown up in an appreciative climate. On the contrary, unfortunately it maybe more of the reverse. A very fundamental psychological need of man, we all know, is the need for appreciation, recognition and affection / love. Often, this does not happen and unfortunately, we do not appreciate ourselves either. This also often leads to a psychological feeling of lack and scarcity which further interferes with the clients being his/her abundant, joyous self. In my experience, this if facilitated well, often produces catharsis and transforms and empowers clients towards their desired outcomes. Of course there maybe those that go to the other extreme and are constantly proving to everyone “how smart they are”. This for sure is not a “smart “ thing to do either.
- Creating awareness for the client of his/her own freedom / autonomy; facilitating the client to see their freedom and ability to choose/act often empowers clients to get past their blind spots / anchors in feeling disempowered. Facilitating clients to reframe their perspectives, motives, commitments and priorities is an effective way of creating this awareness. This awareness also has the potential of facilitating transformations as it also addresses the psychological need that man has for “control” in his/ her life. Often situations and relationships can interfere with the clarity of our awareness of our own freedom and control of our lives. The recognition of freedom also initiates the awareness of the need for self discipline. Self discipline straight away addresses “what we are disciples of – in philosophy/ in what we value etc. So the ownership of outcomes lies squarely with us.
- Should this be the appropriate time for the client, facilitating self awareness on “purpose”, addressing, “why the client is doing what he/she is doing ?” can be very powerful. What is the purpose ? How is the client making a difference ? How is the client adding value ? Often when clients are unaware of the significance and value of what they do, they are easily derailed in their goals or journeys. Obstacles and constraints may seem un-surmountable as they do not engage with the powerful energy and passion that purposefulness brings. Purpose brings meaning to life and thus engages us in spirit. When we are purposeful, we are more grounded and committed to what we do and it facilitates our creativity and innovation. It also optimizes what we receive in spirit which is priceless!