Incoming freshman continue deploying high school time management systems in the college setting. Most students are fully aware of the importance of adopting a time management system and they may even be able to describe several time management systems. However, they are unable to review and evaluate the time management systems to determine the system that will work for them in their new endeavor. In other words, they do not transfer knowledge into effective behavior. They know the time management systems and either apply none, or perhaps employ a system that does not play to their strengths. Coaching supports an ongoing reflective practice of evaluating the strategies and tactics used against the actual, individual outcomes. Through their own thoughts, words and actions, the student develops a time management system based upon personal strengths that accomplishes the academic, personal, social and leadership goals that the student identified as important during the initial discovery and exploratory sessions.
Throughout their high school careers, few students practice and strengthen their self-advocacy skills. During the formative years, parents and guardians intervened when student teacher relationships faltered. Now, the students advocate independently before their professors. And one of the hardest lessons students learn is how their words, actions and other communication forms affect their professors’ first and lasting impressions. For example, coming to class late or sleeping in class may appear inconsequential to the freshman student. However, several classes and a few years later, the same student may ask the professor to write a teaching or other career recommendation. What’s the first thing that pops into the professor’s mind? The student in the second row up in the lecture hall sound asleep. That is probably not the image your student remembers and wants the professor to rely on for reference in writing the recommendation letter. If this happens in high school, a parent or guardian may intervene with the teacher providing an explanation. For example, “We had a family health emergency last night and I probably should not have sent my child to school tired.” However, in college, the student must advocate for himself or herself. Most students view this simple transgression, sleeping during class, as a non-event, irrelevant. Yet, the student who approaches the professor and says, “My apologies, I worked a double shift last night and I did not want to miss this class,” presents acceptance of a much higher level of personal responsibility. When asked for a recommendation, the professor remembers, not the sleeping in class, but the dignity and acceptance of personal responsibility demonstrated by the student’s acknowledgement. Which action most likely results in a better recommendation? A coach offers suggestions for self-advocacy behaviors nonjudgmentally; whereas, the same suggestions from a parent may appear as threats to emerging independence.
Students reflect on their own past behaviors and skills while visualizing outcomes in the coaching mirror before they become realities with sometimes lasting consequences. This heightened level of self-awareness in strengths based time management and study skills enhanced by professional and personally responsible self-advocacy skills prepare the students for comfortable and effective undergraduate, graduate and professional level interactions. They undergird strong foundations for goal attainment and advanced personal and professional growth.
V (as in EVOLVE) – Value your dreams, ambitions and actions (What values support my aspirations? How and why have my dreams changed over time?)
Over time, your students’ dreams, ambitions and actions will change. Many students try several majors before settling down in a specific area. As parents, we naturally judge our young adults’ choices offering suggestions about financial opportunities, our professional contacts and areas of job growth based upon our life experiences. A coach, however, provides effective feedback to the young adult based upon the student’s personal goals, maturing values, new and old aspirations and the student’s awareness of these changes. In other words, the students wrestle verbally or in writing with the change guided by a coach whose only goal is to help the student create and achieve his or her optimal life through personal growth and development.
E (as in EVOLVE) – Excel in all you choose to do! (What’s next?)
Excellence and success mean different things to different people. As parents and teachers, we hope our students create balanced lives of their own designs, which alleviate stress and enhance well-being. Most importantly, we dream that our students thrive in fulfillment, accomplishment, happiness and enduring purpose. Graduates of the YouEVOLVE© process of academic coaching retain a personal growth and development model, and the associated skills, attitudes and behaviors for future life, career and business decisions. Although the individuals, dreams and goals change, the process endures.
Although each of the above stages (i.e., E, V, O, L, V, E) of the YouEVOLVE© coaching model contributes to the overall academic growth of the student, perhaps the most distinguishing and imperative element of the model is the ancillary process of the student establishing a self-care system that includes celebrations of milestones, perspective shifts and higher levels of self-compassion. Young adults entering college are often unsettled by a system where three grades, a mid-term, paper and final determine their final grade for a three credit class. They come from a school setting where homework, quizzes and tests are given on a daily basis so that final grades depend upon multiple opportunities. Therefore, in college, performing less well than expected on one assignment of only three often results in harsh self-criticism, repetitive negative self-talk and even disbelief. Frequently, students highly empathetic and compassionate towards others appear low in self-compassion and act highly self-critical. Academic coaching helps students connect themselves to humanity. Understanding that humans fail, have failed in the past and will fail in the future, helps students recognize this commonality in the human race. Often as mature adults, through life’s tumultuous and unexpected experiences, we have learned that failure is an acceptable part of learning …and oftentimes, is a springboard to deeper and higher wisdom. Young adults lack this global experience and often overlook the simple tie that binds all of humanity – failure. It is precisely what makes us all human – imperfection. Academic coaches soften the blows of failure by encouraging their students to strengthen human connections and deepen understanding of human characteristics. Oftentimes, with prior disclosure and appropriate credentials, coaches may act as consultants and share some of their personal failures with students to help them envision life beyond the failure and their multiple paths to emotional intelligence and wisdom.
Coaching is not therapy, psychotherapy or in any way mental health related nor is it a substitute for any of these specialized services. If you feel that your student needs to heal emotionally, mentally or physically, please contact a physician or mental health professional in your community. Coaching helps emotionally, mentally and physically healthy students move forward in pursuit of their personal goals and dreams. At times, students may be asked to describe academic or personal challenges successfully overcome in the past to help tease out potential solutions for current or future challenges.
As fall approaches and you pack your car with your young adults’ possessions, hopes and dreams, add the contact information for an academic life coach to help ease the transition from home to dorm life, high school to college academic expectations and parental and teacher dependence to personal independence. One of life’s most satisfying outcomes remains learning about oneself – who I am, what motivates me, who and what do I want to become, what’s my plan for getting there, how can I care for myself along the way? The academic life coach may well be the best non-judgmental “guide on the side” that your college bound student has in the first stages of creating of a purposeful, intentional life.