3. An Approach to Manage Fear of Public Speaking
The first question that comes to mind is if it is possible to completely overcome fear of public speaking. As Isaacson (1984) states “most people don’t overcome it. They do, however, learn to manage it (…) they conquered the fear of fear!”
To be able to conquer the fear of fear, there are three distinct phases in this approach:
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. (Nelson Mandela)
3.1. Phase 1: Preparation
The intent of this phase is to re-build brain’s connections and align the whole body with new empowering feelings, according to the next steps:
3.1.1. Raise Awareness
The aim of this step is to discover the perception that is being hold and that is responsible for the experience of fear. According to Seale (2003), “we must peel away the layers that cover the root feeling (…) enter into the feeling, allowing it to completely overtake us in order to listen to its story and get to its root.”
Coaching questions:
- What is holding you back?
- What are the thoughts that rise in your mind when you are experiencing this fear?
- What is that feeling telling you?
- How do you think fear is supporting you?
- What do you not have to face because of fear?
- How is it serving you?
3.1.2. Put doubt in the actual perceptions and explore new ones
Now, start putting doubt in the perceptions that are being hold and then explore new points of view. This can also be done through being in contact with people who have different perspectives. While this step is taking place, what is happening is that new connections are being built in the client’s brain. Coaching questions: Is it really like that? Were there any other situations where it didn’t happen? Is the reason for having fear logical? How can you deal with the worst scenario? How can you look at this situation in other way? What are other perceptions that you can have when you look into this situation? What else can happen? What is the opportunity that is hidden behind this situation?
3.1.3. Allow fear to dissipate
Seale (2001) states that “avoidance of that which you fear or your reluctance to voice it gives it power. (…) Its power over you is only as strong as your refusal to walk into it. However, when you sit with your fear and give it a voice, allow it to speak freely to you, it begins to dissipate.”
Coaching Exercise: Observe fear in an unattached and conscientious way and after a while its intensity will decrease. When observing it and in order to attain effective emotional change, the whole body sensations must be considered, since all cells experience feelings. In the beginning of the observation, rate the fear intensity level in a scale from one to ten and continue observing it until it goes down to zero, when the situation becomes emotionally neutral. While going through this exercise is normal that new perspectives, ideas or solutions rise up and they should be written down.
Regarding the issue of facing inner fears, Seale (2001) asserts the following: “Bring [fear] into every cell of your body. Accept it. Love it. Let the fear keep talking to you. Allow fear to show itself in every part of your being.”
So, to overcome limiting feelings, it’s really important to be aware of the whole body, of the sensations that rise up. Since every cell has its own perspective and its chemical demands, a feeling or a belief is only really shifted when the whole body is aligned with the new perspective.
3.1.4. Consciously choose the new perspective to hold
In this step the client chooses and states the new perspective that he wants to hold, his new way of seeing the same situation. This should be stated in just one sentence, using present tense and the affirmative form. When reading this statement, the client should feel really empowered.
3.1.5. Incorporate the new perspective in the whole body
In order to incorporate the new perspective in the client’s whole body, changing cells and brain connections, he should be “living” with it in a daily base.
Coaching tools:
Changing a longue time thought implies daily effort, so client’s awareness and motivation play an important role here.
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. (Bill Cosby)
3.2. Phase 2: Taking action
After preparation, the aim is to take action. In this phase, the trick is to move forward, despite fear and focus in the self-assurance that was built during the preparation phase. Instead of regarding fear, the focus should be in strengths, action and success.
Taking action implies the following:
3.2.1. Preparing the presentation
In this step, the approach should be specific and entering into the field of ‘What and
How to do?’.