It is important to identify the various beliefs that are hindering your ability to maintain a positive self-image and interact with others in a natural, satisfying and fulfilling way. Once you have discovered, examined, and made the decision to release those beliefs, you can move on to forming new ones that are beneficial, healthy and relevant in your adult life.
Voicing Your Fears
Along with letting go of your limiting beliefs, you will also find it helpful identify your fears, so as to be able to release them and move on. Meditating, journaling, working with a coach or speaking with a close friend are all good avenues for determining, working through and releasing fears and limiting beliefs.
Take time to clarify what it is about a situation or relationship that is causing you to feel uncomfortable. Identify where your anxieties might be coming from, and whether they are legitimate or based on past assumptions. Often, simply discussing your fears out loud or writing them down allows you to see them in a different light, and perhaps realize how irrelevant or ridiculous they might be.
Investigate alternate ways of viewing the situation and try to shift your perspective to a more empowering one.
This shift requires that you be willing to understand that there is more than one way to look at a given situation. It’s about opening thought and showing a fuller range of possibilities. 4
Focusing on Quality
Once you have gained clarity, try doing some role-playing with a coach or friend. Sit or stand up straight with your head lifted. Practice speaking in a measured, confident way, breathing deeply from the diaphragm and relaxing your shoulders.
Focus on expressing your true feelings, keeping discouraging and negative thoughts out of your mind. As Dr. Joan Kenley puts it,
Contact with the finer energies in your body will bring natural aliveness and personal uniqueness into the sound of your speaking voice….. Awareness – focused attention with curiosity and acceptance – is the key to experiencing these finer body energies.
She says that speaking with this kind of attnement will reveal “the essential personal qualities of :
Voicing Your Opinion
As you become more practiced and confident with your Voice, you may find yourself wanting to speak up in situations you might previously have avoided. Expressing yourself in an assertive (not aggressive) way will reaffirm your self-assurance and inner strength. Lin Burress defines assertive communication as
the ability to speak and interact in a manner that considers and respects the rights and opinions of others while also standing up for your own rights, needs and personal boundaries. 5
Becoming comfortable with voicing your personal opinion on matters you feel are important can be the final step in learning to truly express your authentic self.
Conclusion
Discovering your Voice can change the way you experience every aspect of your life. The process will be ongoing – it cannot happen overnight. But by identifying your authentic feelings and desires, getting rid of outdated beliefs and negative thought patterns, moving through your fears, and tuning in to your body, you will be able to convey to others your passion, strength and creativity. You will gain a stronger sense of self- confidence, cultivate richer, more satisfying relationships with family, friends and co-workers, and experience an improvement in your overall well- being.
References
Kenley, Dr. J. Voice Power: A Breakthrough Method to enhance Your Speaking Voice: Dodd, Mead & Company, Inc., 1988
Karpf, A. The Human Voice: Bloomsbury Publishing, 2006
Samuel Joseph, A. Vocal Power: Harnessing the Power Within: Jodere Group, Inc., 2003
1 Lochner, B. 8 Tips for Improving Your Communication Skills: Cornerstone Coaching & Training, 2010
)
2 Steiner, Dr. E. Importance of breathing correctly, 2010
(http://www.livestrong.com/article/75706-importance-breathing-correctly/#ixzz270D5KOJt)
3 Goodman, L. Transform Your Beliefs, 2010 (www .transformyourbeliefs.com)
4 International Coach Academy Reframing Perspectives: International Coach Academy, Pty., Ltd., 2002
5 Burress, L. Assertive Communication Skills, 2008
)