Research Paper By Jennie Douglas
(Transformational Coach, UNITED STATES)
Last year, I started taking coursework through the International Coach Academy (ICA). I have come to coaching from a Workplace Performance & Learning background. The Association for Talent Development (formerly ASTD) includes coaching as a core competency[1]. In my field, we talk about knowledge and skills and performance, never about wisdom.
However, since joining ICA, I’ve been surprised to hear over and over again that coaches help their clients “unlock their wisdom”, and I was curious what that might mean, both conceptually and practically. I started asking questions: How can I help someone else find their own wisdom, when they’re stuck? Is there a formula or special secret for finding it? Where do you find it? And really, what is wisdom, anyway?
What Does Wisdom Look Like?
Late summer, I traveled with a friend to visit his parents in Iowa. His mother, Evelyn, was giving a speech to the annual conference of retired Anglican ministers. Evelyn is 94 years old. In the few days I spent with Evelyn, I saw wisdom in action.
Evelyn’s life is an intricate weaving of all of the elements of wisdom: social networks, optimism, calm and reasonable managing of emotions, creating and learning and sharing knowledge.
She starts each day, at breakfast, consciously appreciating what’s in front of her: her husband Robert, her home, reading and telling stories. She moves on to working in her office, writing her weekly column or an upcoming speech. She schedules her days and weeks around timelines and milestones to ensure her column, books and speeches are created and delivered. Yes, at 94 years old, Evelyn is still working. Then, she moves on to cooking, seeing friends in the community, visiting the church (under construction, when I was there), talking with family on the phone or Facebook or email, and watching some TV. Evelyn’s life is enmeshed with family generations, friends, and co-workers. It just all fits together, a seamless flowing life.
On my last afternoon with Evelyn, we cooked dinner together. Really, it was an Iowan small town feast: pork chops, corn cobs, potatoes, jello salad, sliced tomatoes, and gravy. After decades of experience cooking, as well as writing and speaking about cooking, Evelyn definitely has the skills and knowledge. She might have been faster when she was younger, but speed isn’t important when you’ve mastered the equipment and recipes. Flexibility counts. Evelyn allowed me to prepare how I wanted to, partly because she said she wanted to learn how I do things too.
One of my joys in life is to cook in the kitchens of my friends and family, around the world. In my experience, when you cook together, you are bonded with that person in a whole new way. It’s such a common thing to do, and so enjoyable. So, when Evelyn told me that cooking with a new friend is happiness, I couldn’t agree more. That’s probably the wisest thing Evelyn shared with me.
Again, as I traveled home, I asked myself about wisdom. How did Evelyn become so wise? Where did she find it? What is wisdom, anyway?
What Is Wisdom?
So, I started looking for resources that talked about wisdom. In my local library system, I discovered it’s tough to find books on wisdom, especially outside religious subjects. However, recently, a lot has been written on current discoveries about how complex our brains really are, and some of those books document connections to wisdom. So I expanded my search to books that wove neuroscience research results into topics related to learning, growth, healing, and aging.
Interestingly, one of the most fascinating books I found was The Healthy Aging Brain: Sustaining Attachment, Attaining Wisdom, a book that attempts to debunk myths of shrinking, stagnant brains using the latest neuroscience. Author Cozolino’s perspective on wisdom provides inspiration for leading a full, healthy life. Accepting that our brains are social systems, wisdom is nurtured socially, psychologically and biologically, and emerges through healthy relationships, continued learning and creativity, and meaningful stories.
Another book I read, Boundless Potential, quotes the work of Gene Cohen, MD, PhD, founder of the Center on Aging, Health & Humanities at George Washington University.
“Wisdom, Gene asserted, is what psychologists call a developmental product, a synergy of brain biology, maturity, and life experience that ripens over time. “These things can’t be bought, and they can’t be rushed,” he once wrote, “so it is not surprising that wisdom, though not unique to later life, is associated more often with aging.”[2]
Researchers in psychology and psychiatry are also trying to define and understand the components of wisdom:
“…knowledge of life, prosocial values, self-understanding, acknowledgment of uncertainty, emotional homeostasis, tolerance, openness, spirituality, and sense of humor.”[3]
“No single definition of wisdom exists, but hallmarks include knowledge, deep understanding of human nature, life contentment, empathy and the flexibility to see issues from others’ perspectives.” [4]
Jeste and Meeks, professors in the department of psychiatry at the University of California, San Diego, surveyed a group of international experts to identify the central, unifying elements that define wisdom. “Most of the experts…agreed that wisdom could be characterized thus:
Breaking Down Wisdom
In my readings, I found some common themes about what wisdom is. Although this approach contradicts Cohen’s description of wisdom being possible through integration, rather than parsing out, I find it helps to understand wisdom by identifying its common components.
“To act wisely, we have to simultaneously be aware of our own biases, inhibit impulses that would make us act rashly, and be empathic and caring toward others, all the while applying our intellectual abilities to complex situations…Brain processing strategies that make for quick decisions earlier in life seem to gradually give way to the more inclusive and fine-tuned cerebral networks required for wisdom.” [6]
Let’s look at each of the components of wisdom, more closely.
- Self aware. Calming down the emotions, especially negative ones like fear and anxiety, focusing on optimism.
A lot has been written about the amygdala’s role in our emotional life: the fight and flight response, including our ability to subconsciously react to people and places that have had a negative impact on us. Cozolino highlights an important relationship between this region of our brain and the orbitomedial prefrontal cortex (OMPFC).
“Together, the OMPFC-amygdala network evaluates and remembers the reward or punishment value of highly complex social interactions. This network, central for survival, organizes early attachment schemas and thus, our ability to bond with others throughout life.”
“A highly developed and well regulated OMPFC-amygdala network may well be a prerequisite for . . . the attainment of wisdom.” [7]
The UCSD Center for Mindfulness website provides a 10 minute “wisdom” meditation by Steven Hickman. This “wisdom” meditation starts and ends by focusing on smiling, then adds prompts to calm the emotions and make connections. Why? Regulating emotions calms us so that we can smile and connect to people and surroundings. This conscious, mindful action is wise, and leads to wisdom:
“We found that people who are wiser maintain a sense of happiness,” says Etezadi. “They are high on wisdom, which has a buffering effect.”
“Bitterness,” Pushkar counters, “disqualifies a person from being considered as wise. It means they haven’t learned any beneficial lessons from their experience.” [8]
- Holding more than one view in perspective, taking time to form opinions and decisions, being flexible.
As we get older and face more complex situations, we learn that when we are forming opinions and making decisions, we sometimes get it wrong. We might have not been aware of complexities of the situation, not had enough information, not investigated thoroughly enough, or simply not waited long enough to explore the options. Things are not as simple as they appear.
Using emotional moderation, we learn that taking time doesn’t need to be anxious time:
“The accretion of experience provides us with a framework that allows us to sit with ambiguity while we ponder a complex problem. . . . This kind of processing takes mature frontal lobes that are in a balanced relationship with the rest of the brain.” [9]
Being in my late forties, I was thrilled to read Dr Cohen’s assessment of how our ability to be wise develops. Our left and right hemispheres of the cerebral cortex are well known as building blocks for intellect.
“Prior to middle age, for any given task, we use one side of the brain more than the other. We use the left brain for certain tasks, the right for others. But when we hit middle age, we begin to use both sides together. Technically, it’s called “bilateral hemisphere involvement.” This is the source of the development of “post-formal thinking, later in life, on an anatomical level.
It’s as if we move into all wheel drive, as if the heart and the mind come together.” [10]
- Looking outwards, caring for others and the community.
Moderating our own emotions also allows us to care for others. Cozolino asked a group of graduate students to list qualities of wise people. The core context of their responses was caring for humanity: Wise people are empathic, caring, concerned, loving, understand that people are fallible, forgiving, kind.
“…wisdom brings together both intellectual and emotional intelligence in ways that maximize affiliation, compassion, and our common humanity. They perceived wisdom as emerging in the context of interacting hearts and minds coming together to comprehend and solve complex human problems.” [11]
Being aware of activity in our brains and emotions leads us to look at our “selves” in relation to others. In the book Buddha’s Brain, Rick Hanson, Ph.D. and Richard Mendius, MD, “…have woven together Buddhist practices developed over two thousand years and new insights into the workings of the brain.” (p. vi, forward by Daniel J. Siegel, MD) Late in this book, they raise the idea that the self exists as an internal construct, and is only important in relation to our own body and the world.
“Most thoughts, plans, and actions don’t need a self to direct them. Self-related neural networks comprise only a small part of the brain, and an even smaller part of the nervous system.” [12]
This may sound existential, but it’s worth noting as a function of wisdom. The “self” may be important mostly for creating connections and caring for others, which supports a healthy aging brain.
- Learning forms new circuits, strengthening or weakening existing circuits.
“Virtue, mindfulness, and wisdom are supported by the three fundamental functions of the brain: regulation, learning, and selection…These three functions – regulation, learning, and selection – operate at all levels of the nervous system, from the intricate molecular dance at the tip of a synapse to the whole-brain integration of control, competence, and discernment.” [13]
- It’s rare! This means that a wise person isn’t necessarily wise every day or about every topic. In addition, wisdom is a rare trait within our communities.
“Wisdom and intelligence aren’t the same thing,” [Dolores Pushkar, a professor in Concordia’s Department of Psychology and member of the Centre for Research in Human Development] points out, estimating that only 5 percent of the population can be described as truly wise and that advanced insight begins after adolescence as the brain matures.”[14]
Implications for Coaching
Wisdom is universally viewed as rare and exceptional, not attained easily or often. In addition, the International Coaching Federation’s (ICF’s) Core Competencies do not mention wisdom.[15] Therefore, I propose that we may be wise to adjust our language. It’s a stretch to say that coaches “unlock a client’s wisdom.”
Can the inherent nature of coaching help lead a person towards wisdom? Let’s look at how coaching may cover the bases, including most of the components of wisdom that have been identified by researchers:
- At its core, coaching is a conversation. Our brains are neuro-networks, and we are built to be healthiest when we create social networks. That’s one of the prime factors that Cozalino explores in his book The Healthy Aging Brain: Sustaining Attachment, Attaining Wisdom. Social connections are required ingredients of wisdom.
- Storytelling helps us make sense of our world, and our role in it. All of our sages tell stories; storytelling is the primary role of wise people. (This is another prime ingredient of wisdom that Cozalino identifies.) Appreciative Inquiry, a tool used in coaching and performance consulting, centers around using stories to build the dream and the future. This is our natural inclination, as we gain experience and grow older. Coaching is primed to take advantage of stories to create the relationship, build trust, and build awareness.
- Wise people are appreciative, and this requires focused awareness of mind and emotion. Coaches use emotional regulation techniques — meditation, visual imagery, breathing— to help initiate and develop the coaching conversation, and to build awareness. Your coaching client may already use these same techniques skillfully to manage their emotions. They may also use other tools, such as athletics or musical pursuits. Optimism and emotional intelligence creates a foundation where wisdom can grow.
- Wise people care about other people. As coaches we need to care about our clients. So do our clients. They have families, partners, colleagues, friends, social connections that enrich and support their lives. These caring relationships can be part of their dreams and action plans, part of every coaching conversation.
- Wise people learn. Coaching is learning. Our natural inclination is to want to learn the “right” way or perspective, unless we’re curious. Curiosity makes it easier for us to learn, and curiosity is a powerful intrinsic motivator. As coaches, we can help our clients find and deepen their own curiosity they can use to dig deep into learning. Curiosity also helps us hold multiple perspectives or options in the balance, taking time to form decisions.
ICF’s Core Competencies do identify skills and structure that may provide a balance of factors that can help our client’s gain insight, clarity and growth. Our client may achieve goals, realize dreams, and develop mastery in new skills. By applying this balance of coaching competencies, aware of how wisdom’s components are balanced, we may glimpse our client’s brilliance–even wisdom–on rare occasions.
Resources
[1] The ATD Competency Model™. Association for Talent Development.
[2] Boundless Potential: Transform Your Brain, Unleash Your Talents, Reinvent Your Work in Midlife and Beyond. By Mark S. Walton. McGraw-Hill; March 16, 2012. page 124
[3] Article: Defining and assessing wisdom: a review of the literature. By Bangen KJ1, Meeks TW, and Jeste DV. American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry. 2013 Dec;21(12):1254-66.
[4] Article: What the world needs now? More wisdom. Science Daily (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/04/110406122225.htm). April 8, 2011. Source: Concordia University
[5] Article: Words to the wise: Experts define wisdom. Science Daily (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/05/100507151554.htm). May 7, 2010. Source: University of California - San Diego
[6] The Healthy Aging Brain: Sustaining Attachment, Attaining Wisdom (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology). By Louis Cozolino. W. W. Norton & Company; October 17, 2008. pages 171-172
[7] The Healthy Aging Brain: Sustaining Attachment, Attaining Wisdom. pages 149-151
[8] Article: What the world needs now? More wisdom. Science Daily (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/04/110406122225.htm). April 8, 2011. Source: Concordia University
[9] The Healthy Aging Brain: Sustaining Attachment, Attaining Wisdom. Page 138
[10] Boundless Potential: Transform Your Brain, Unleash Your Talents, Reinvent Your Work in Midlife and Beyond. page 133
[11] The Healthy Aging Brain: Sustaining Attachment, Attaining Wisdom. Page 134-135
[12] Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom. By Rick Hanson and Richard Mendius. New Harbinger Publications; November 1, 2009. Page 224
[13] Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom. Page 14
[14] Article: What the world needs now? More wisdom. Science Daily (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/04/110406122225.htm). April 8, 2011. Source: Concordia University
[15] International Coaching Federation http://www.coachfederation.org/credential/: Individual Credentialing > Core Competencies. October 2014.