“Strengthsfinder 2.0” written by Tom Rath is a very valuable tool for coaches to apply in their coaching sessions. Ask the coachees to take the test on the website www.strengthsfinder.com. After that, they can receive a document listing their top strengths and Ideas for taking actions to move forward. The coach then can help encourage the coachee to set some goals of these ideas. It should be remembered that the journey from knowing what to do to accomplishing it is a long and challenging one. Coachees can take the test themselves whenever they wish to do and get the results and advice. To seriously take the next step and grow better, however, asks them more effort and determination. Besides, since the youth are people who are quite vulnerable to failure and easily influenced, they have a tendency to give up if they get stuck. Coaches, therefore, are needed to support and motivate. They can see how hard the coachees have worked on the issue and help them realize it too. By checking the goals weekly, both the coach and the coachee can see how he/she progresses with his plan.
Also, it is recommended that the coach can ask the coachee to draw a list of their strengths before taking the test. By doing this, they can compare the results of two ways to see how much they are aware of themselves. This, needless to say, contributes to their confidence for it shows their good ability of observing and judging.
b. Asking for feedback
It is necessary for coachees to receive feedback – not comments – from people who have some relationship with them. While there are many folks who are eager to blame others and push them into the deep hole of self-disappointment, there are also family members and good friends willing to tell the coachee what they think about them in a supportive manner.
The coach can encourage the coachee to make a list of people they trust and suggest them to ask for their feedback on the coachee. By listening to others’ perspective in terms of his characteristics and behaviors, the coachee can realize how differently the way he sees himself and the way others see him. It can somehow bring an opportunity to him to fix the current relationships (if any) or improve them. Moreover, the coach may receive some positive comments – even they did not intend to ask for – from their beloved, and no doubt, they empower the coachee.
After receiving feedback, the coach can conduct a session on how the client reflects on the feedback and what he wishes to do with these observations. It is a great time for the coachee to share his feelings and be encouraged by getting good comments from others. Hence they can gain their self-belief.
It is also warned that there are chances that the coachee receives largely negative feedback which really makes him more disappointed in himself. It is the coach’s job to support the client to shift his perspective (i.e. taking the chance to reflect and fix his behaviours instead of focusing on blaming himself)
B2.3. Gaining Self-Love
Lately, there have been many movements that young people like to slash their wrists or some other parts in their bodies. Besides, the number of young suicides and autistics has increased seriously more greatly than ever before. These alertly shows that a myriad of young people do not really love themselves. That is the reason why they have a tendency to destroy themselves just when they have obstacles or fail to do something successfully. Therefore, self-love can be regarded as the most difficult stage of building confidence. People may know much about themselves and their strengths, yet they are not really aware of how to love themselves properly. Hence, it is a challenge job to support the clients to gain their self-love.
a. Facing mistakes
To start coaching the coachee self-love, the coach can ask the coachee to think about some of his major mistakes. What does he feel when recalling these memories? Does he blame himself or accept them? For those who can see a mistake an opportunity, they know how to accept themselves and ready to start another new challenge. On the other hand, for those who cannot accept it, they are tormented by the feeling of guilty. Ask the coachee how he can learn from his mistake and how he will solve in the future if there is a similar situation. Besides, help him to shift perspective. These tools can really motivate the client to forgive and accept himself.
b. Facing weakness
To those who do not love themselves, listing their strengths is really confusing for they are not sure what they are good at. However, they can easily draw a list of their weakness. In their world, they all see what they wrong instead of their winnings. Therefore, they tend to blame themselves when things go out of expectation. Asking those people to list their weaknesses is undoubtedly easy, yet asking them to accept their weaknesses is much harder. Nevertheless, once they can do it, they will grow their self-love as well.
Ask the coachee to spend some time thinking of their weak points, then consider if he would like to do anything about them, such as changing them or figuring the main reason behind them. If he wishes to change them, then the coach can work together with him to find some suitable ways. The coach can set some targets and goals so that the client feels motivated. Also, the coach can hold the client accountable by checking the progress week by week. It is warned that, again, to change or fix a natural trait requires people much effort and support. If they fail to reach their goals, it is needed to help them overcome the thought of giving up. Even when the client does not want to change anything, supporting him to accept his weaknesses is also challenging. Ask them to imagine a situation where his weak points show up strongly and how he will react. The coach can apply some coaching tools such as shift perspective, awareness, responsibility, trust, etc. to help the coachee. Once he can accept himself in such situation, it means he learn to love himself more.
C. Conclusion
Being in their adolescence, young people seem to be quite vulnerable. This leads them to lose their confidence easily and react in a negative way like suicide or destroy themselves. Coaching is an excellent option for them. During the coaching process, coaches can build their confidence based on the equation: Self- confidence = self-awareness + self-belief + self-love. Besides, since those are very sensitive, it is recommended that the coach should be very patient, open and trustable to them.
D. Bibliography
D1. Capstone Publishing Limited, 2006 The book of Luck: Heather Summers and Anne Watson
D2. Gallup Press, 2007 Strengthsfinder 2.0: Tom Rath
D3. www.tamlyhoc.net
D4. www.nucuoitraitim.com
D4. www.mindtools.com