Having an unlimited, work-in-progress list of life purposes keeps you open to new experiences. It means you will never stop looking for things you love. Love your job? Great! Go and find more stuff you love.
Even if there is one thing in your life you absolutely adore, there will still be days when you just don’t feel like it, or when it feels boring or frustrating. If that’s your sole life purpose then doing anything else will feel unsatisfying. When you’ve got lots of life purposes you just chose something different.
Given the option of just one life purpose most of us would chose our ‘work’, whether that is work in the traditional sense or something else. Your purpose is about so much more than work, what about laughing or picnics or beaches or sister-to-sister chats? If most of us define our purpose as the work we do no wonder we’re all working too hard! Take a break, go and fly a kite, it’s all part of your purpose.
And finally, searching for a sole life purpose in your 20s or 30s is quite frankly just too much pressure. Pick now what I’m going to focus on for the next 60 years? No thanks, I can’t choose what I want for dinner tomorrow.
The nitty gritty – Finding the notes that make you smile
So here it is, the list of …ways to find your life purpose. Do the ‘Getting Started’ ones first and then go wild, any order is fine.
A note before you get started, and this may seem obvious, but here goes:
They only work if you actually do them
Duh? I know, but you would be amazed (and I would cringe) if you knew how many self help resources I devoured without actually changing anything. I took in the information, nodding along, thinking how great it was, I made extensive notes, I planned. None of that changes anything, knowing how to do something is completely useless, unless you do it. So please, before you even look at the list, commit to doing something.
Stop. Don’t look at the list.
Commit to doing one thing on it. Or five. Or ten. Or the whole list if you are up for it. You know what you are capable of. I promise it’s not all hard and scary.
Okay, made your commitment? Right, here we go…
Getting started
- You’ve got to want it – you’re here so you must be somewhat serious about this. But are you serious enough? It’s not something that just happens, it takes intention, commitment, time and work. Is this something you really want and are you willing to do the work?
- Carve out some time for it – your life purpose isn’t something you scribble out on a Friday afternoon, between finishing work and meeting your mates in the pub. How are you going to manage your time commitment to this work? A little every day? Sunday afternoons? Obviously the more you can commit the quicker you will move forward, but don’t over commit, better to do an hour than not do three hours. Those of you that want quick answers, here’s your first bit of tough love – it doesn’t work like that. It takes time. There are no short cuts. The quicker you take that first step, the quicker your progress will be.
- Break up with Google – Google is a great, but it doesn’t know what will make you happy, honestly is doesn’t, the answers aren’t going to come after 3 hours of desperately searching “what should I do with my life”. I smile writing this now but this was my life for 2 years, and it sucked. The only person who can figure this out is you, so hit the little cross and give the Googling a rest.
- Go and buy a nice shiny notebook – yes, you’re going to have to write, there’s no avoiding it I’m afraid (and anyway, you’ll end up loving it!) So go buy yourself a nice notebook that you’ll enjoy writing in.
And the rest!
- Write something every day for 30 days – journaling is great for processing your thoughts and feelings. Everything you need to know is in you, it’s just a matter of finding ways to get it out. If you haven’t tried journaling before, give it a go. If you’ve tried journaling before and didn’t like it, give it another go. Yes, it’s that good! Your journal is for your eyes only so don’t censor anything, let it all flow out. If you don’t know where to start just write how you feel, try starting with one word then expand it.
- Try something you’ve “always wanted to try” – we say it more than we think, watch out for it and next time take note. Maybe when you read this you thought of something, maybe there’s been something on your mind for a while. Whatever it is, I’m sure it won’t take long to surface. Oh, and then you have to go and try it, just thinking about it doesn’t work!
- Look after your body – finding your purpose is energy-consuming work! Eat well, sleep enough, exercise and drink plenty of water. You’ll be better at everything if your body is feeling good.
- Curl up with a good book – books can help loads when you are going through a transition, I think reading gives the right balance of conscious and subconscious that you need to do the thinking work. It doesn’t have to be a self-help book, but if it is make sure you put at least one thing into action after reading it (or even better do it whilst reading it whilst your motivation and momentum is high).
Here are a few that helped me: