Applying mindfulness-based strategies to coaching
According to Passmore and Marianetti (2007), mindfulness can be applied to coaching in a variety of ways. The relationship between the two concepts can be explored from several angles: the coach, the coachee and their relationship. Passmore and Marianetti argue that as individuals, both the coach and the coachee can benefit from mindfulness by practicing it in their daily lives, which, given the research data, suggests that this will contribute to a less stressed and happier state experiences of life.
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. ~Viktor E. Frankl~
There are a number of research-based tools and strategies that can bring more inner peace and joy into clients lives. They range from meditation to practices on the art of being present, from relaxation and grounding work to self-compassion exercises etc. Tools and other methods used in mindfulness-based coaching are designed to teach clients how they can experience directly whatever presents itself in their reality, no longer resisting the flow of life. Mindfulness-based tools are implemented to all areas of life: breathing, eating, thinking, feeling, walking and even physical pain. Mindfulness is a skill that anyone can learn and it happens is much like training a muscle; training attention to be where a person wants it to be instead of being hijacked by emotions, worries for the future or by regrets and memories from the past. In short, mindfulness tools and strategies highlight the importance of paying attention to the process of thinking or experiencing rather than the thoughts / experiences themselves.
According to Coaching Beyond Boundaries[5], one of the main tools of a good coaching session is the quality of the presence the coach offers to the client. The ability to stay present in the moment, fully aware of the client, is a crucial skill for any coach. Segal and colleagues (The Coaching Psychologist, 12/2007) provide suggestions on the skills that should be in mindfulness teachings:
As central as different types of mindfulness-based strategies and tools are in coaching, it is important to keep in mind that mindfulness is a way of life, not something we ‘do’. Being mindful doesn’t require us to set aside any time for it; instead, we are simply “mindful” of whatever activity we are doing. No matter what we’re doing, we can always be kinder and more compassionate; even when we’re on our own, we can be kind with ourselves, or show an attitude of kindness and care in the way we handle objects. And we can always — always! — recognize when we’re hoping on in some way (to feelings, to anticipated outcomes, to thoughts) and learn to let go[6].
What makes a good mindfulness coach?
More than 2500 scientific research studies worldwide have revealed the mental and physiological benefits of the mindfulness process. Key benefits include a significant improvement in focus, concentration and attention, greater personal and inter-personal effectiveness, enhanced ability to cope with pressure and stress, and maintaining a sense of inner peace, balance and presence even in the midst of a busy work life[7].
Now that mindfulness quickly gaining a foothold among the coaching professionals, the question becomes, what makes a good mindfulness coach. Not anyone who has attended a mindfulness training course can teach mindfulness skills to others. As Daniel Goleman writes in an article published in Huffington Post[8], people should do significant practice before beginning to teach mindfulness to others. Goleman explains his viewpoint by comparing practicing mindfulness and teaching mindfulness. There is a big difference between the two of them; it takes significant dedication and a long-time personal practice, until a person is authentically capable of teaching or coaching others in mindfulness. When looking for a mindfulness coach, Goleman suggests taking into account the following four questions:
As important as it is to pay attention to the quality of a mindfulness coach’s training and experience, it is important to understand that even without a year’s worth of personal mindfulness practice and a formal training, a coach can still possess and use elements of mindfulness in their coaching practice. One can be a very effective and skilled coach even without an extensive experience in mindfulness. At its core, coaching is in my opinion a deep learning process. There is no one “right” path to becoming a masterful coach, but there are some significant similarities between highly effective coaches. According to Rhona Post[9], Master Certified Coach and ICF Member, a masterful coach is someone who has the willingness to get his/her own act together by doing the inside work so that their conduct, moment to moment, is aligned with their vision. In addition, the devotion to a mindfulness-based life lies at the core of a deep desire to serve others, which is also the core of our commitment as coaches (regardless of our niche)..
The paradox and gift of mindfulness
Living mindfully is life’s ultimate challenge and practice. The paradox of mindfulness is that in order to have it all, one must give up all. Mindfulness practice allows us to give up attachment to what and how we want something to be, while surrendering to it as it is.
As Doro Kiley wisely says:
If you don’t know how to swim and you fall into deep water someone telling you to ‘relax and float’ will sound ludicrous because you’re terrified of drowning. It takes absolute willingness to surrender, even die, in order to relax and float in the face of drowning. Having great faith in the universe, or God or whatever you want to call it, sounds ideal until you’re put to the test. But the logic is there. To relax and float in deep water is what mindfulness is in the chaos if living. It’s where our life is.
The very thought of giving up (a false sense of) control and trying to fix or improve things equals to giving up for many. We are conditioned to hold on to taking control in order to get what we want. This learned way of being and going through life is at the core of most (or all) our struggles and suffering. We try to get what we want and think we need by competing, striving, ‘working hard’, manipulating and forcing. Our perception of ourselves and the world is based in a deep sense of lack and this is the place we operate from. Many people approach coaching from the same kind of mindset; trying to fix or change themselves, their surroundings, and achieve a set of goals. For some coaches too, a goal- and achievement oriented way of working with their clients makes most sense. This is why mindfulness-based coaching stands out so clearly from most other coaching approaches.
Practicing mindfulness and mindfulness-based coaching can seem quite paradoxical for some, and it is easy to understand why. For example, meditation is often recommended as a way to reducing stress levels and becoming more focused. It can easily become a source of irritation, feelings of failure or even hopelessness, if a person believes she has ‘failed’ at being able to relax and ‘quiet the mind’. Also, as doctor Pamela Cappetta[10] writes on her blog, the name “MBSR” (mindfulness based stress reduction) implies a goal of reducing stress, which seems oriented toward gaining a benefit. Yet the practice of mindfulness stresses not trying to attain benefit and being present to oneself and one’s circumstances without judgment–accepting what already is.
Jon Kabat-Zinn[11] notes that the paradox is unavoidable:
There are tremendous benefits that arise from mindfulness practice, but it works precisely because we don’t try to attain benefit. Instead, we befriend ourselves as we are. We learn how to drop in on ourselves, visit, and hang out in awareness. ~Jon Kabat-Zinn~
Mindfulness-based coaching is not so much about trying to achieve anything. It is a way of looking at oneself, others and the world. Competition, struggle, manipulation and lack-mentality do not create the basis for this unique exploration journey. In essence, mindfulness doesn’t aim at anything, instead its starting point is an understanding that we are already whole, resourceful, creative and able to find the answers we need, within our own being. Mindfulness-based coaching helps clients to become observers of their bodies and minds, and develops awareness that makes it natural for clients to respond differently and make better choices for themselves. So, even though mindfulness-based coaching doesn’t aim at reaching a set of external goals, it helps to clear up the client’s inner clutter. That, in turn, creates more space for what is most meaningful for the client to come in to her of his life in a natural, unforced way. As novelist John Barth said it well: ”The story of your life is not your life. It is your story.” Mindfulness-based coaching guides clients gently towards re-writing their stories about themselves and their lives, making peace with the past, and moving forward in their lives with an open mind, compassion and clear inner compass. Arianna Huffington has defined mindfulness in a way that I can well relate to: Mindfulness is the ability to bridge the gap between ourselves and a spiritual force greater than ourselves is available to us at all times. It’s the bridge between what we know and what we only dimly perceive, between what we are now and what we can become. As we start to walk across that bridge, as we make that connection, we gain perspective on our lives. Through the simple act of paying careful attention- whether to what we eat, how we move, or where our thoughts wander- we become aware of the significance our minds attach to things. And in that awareness, we recognize how interconnected everything is[12].
All in all, it is safe to say that mindfulness-based coaching is highly beneficial to both the client and the coach. It shifts our perspectives in a way that dramatically improves the quality of our lives. The transformation of the individual is not an isolated process; practicing mindfulness opens up possibilities for collective healing and awakening. As the great leader Mathama Gandhi has famously said, “Be the change you want to see” applies to mindfulness very well. Living mindfully starts with ourselves; mindfulness helps us become friends with our minds and when the way think, feel and act changes, the world around us changes too. This transformational process can add up to a worldwide change, and that is what the true miracle of mindfulness is in my opinion. As the Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh (1975) has said, Mindfulness is the miracle by which we master and restore ourselves. It is the miracle which can call back in a flash our dispersed mind and restore it to wholeness so that we can live each minute of life. Mindfulness is at the same time a means and an end, the seed and the fruit. When we practice mindfulness in order to build up concentration, mindfulness is the seed. But mindfulness itself is the life of awareness: the presence of mindfulness means the presence of life, and therefore mindfulness is also the fruit. Mindfulness frees us of forgetfulness and dispersion and makes it possible to live fully each minute of life. Mindfulness enables us to live (Thich Nhat Hanh; Miracle of Mindfulness).
Suggested resources for coaches interested in mindfulness:
Books:
Liz Hall: Mindful Coaching: How Mindfulness can Transform Coaching Practice Doug Silsbee: The Mindful Coach: Seven Roles for Facilitating Leader Development Doug Silsbee: Prescence-Based Coaching: Cultivating Self-Generative Leaders Through Mind, Body and Heart. Jerry Lynch Ph.D. and Chungliang Al HuangCoaching with Heart: Taoist Wisdom to Inspire, Empower, and Lead in Sports & Life Syed Azmatullah: The Coach's Mind Manual: Enhancing coaching practice with neuroscience, psychology and mindfulness Debra Burdick: Mindfulness Skills Workbook for Clinicians and Clients: 111 Tools, Techniques, Activities & Worksheets Jon Kabat-Zinn: Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation for Everyday Life Jon Kabat-Zinn: Full Catastrophe Living Bhante Henepola Gunaratana: Mindfulness in Plain English Thich Nhat Hanh: Peace is Every Step Thich Nhat Hanh: The Miracle of Mindfulness: The Classic Guide to Meditation by the World's Most Revered Master Mindfulness, choices and actions: content/uploads/2013/11/Mindfulness.pdf
Websites:
www.mindful.org (includes an extensive list of mindfulness related resources) www.livemindfully.blogspot.com (Tips for practicing mindfulness in everyday life) www.mindfulness.org.au www.insightla.com www.spiritrock.com www.valleymindfulness.com www.mindfullivingprograms.com/poetry.php (Mindfulness poetry for transformation) http://marc.ucla.edu/ http://www.blogtalkradio.com/mindfulness-anywhere http://webtalkradio.net/internet-talk-radio/2014/03/10/hope-healing-and-wellbeing-intuition-and-mindfulness-with-dr-joanne-bishop/ http://franticworld.com/resources/podcasts-from-oxford-university/ http://www.zencast.org/
Free mindfulness audio recordings and podcasts
Sources:
Batchelor, Martine: the author of Let Go: A Let Go: A Buddhist Guide to Breaking Free of Habits (Wisdom Publications, 2007) English, Elizabeth: Full Listening and real understanding (http://www.lifeatwork.co.uk/docs/Full_Listening_and_Real_Understanding.pdf) Hall, Liz: Mindful Coaching: How Mindfulness can Transform Coaching Practice. Joyella, Mark: Coaching Research Report: Mindfulness Training Makes Coaching Goals More Attainable. ) Kabat-Zinn, Jon: Mindfulness-Based Interventions in Context: Past, Present and Future. Kiley, Doro: Life Coaching for Mindfulness. (http://www.creationcoach.com/pdfs/Coaching%20for%20Mindfulness.pdf) Thich Nhat Hanh: The Miracle of Mindfulness: The Classic Guide to Meditation by the World's Most Revered Master. Passmore, Jonathan & Marianetti, Oberdan: The Role of Mindfulness in coaching (http://www.mysgw.co.uk/Images/368/Passmore%20&%20Marianetti%20(2007)%20The%20role%20of%20mindfulness%20in%20coaching.pdf) [1] https://uhs.berkeley.edu/facstaff/care/mindfulness/ [2] [3] Segal, Z.V, Williams, J.M.G & Teasdale, J.D. (2002) Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for depression. [4] http://www.sciencemag.org/content/330/6006/932.abstract [5] [6] http://www.wildmind.org/applied/daily-life [7] [8] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dan-goleman/the-qualities-of-an-effec_b_4674091.html [9] [10] http://drpamm.com/ [11] http://www.mindful.org/mindful-magazine/glimpse-no-blueprint-just-love [12]