Research Paper: Reflections on the Deep Coaching Intensive with Leon VanderPol

Transformational processes have the potential to stir up strong emotional reactions, both positive and negative. The deep coaching practice of expanding your capacity to be with pain is focused on supporting deep coaches to better work with the negative, painful emotions, holding the space for painful emotions while staying grounded in our own energy field of love and wellbeing.

Transformation is a healing process, through which people become more aligned, integrated, and whole beings, more aware of who they are, and their value and purpose in this world. Pain that is no longer beneficial to the evolving soul is released.

Why do people so easily become uncomfortable in the face of another’s pain? Pain is often seen as a sign of weakness, not strength. Interpreting pain as a sign of weakness closes down our capacity to just be with that pain or allow it full expression. Experiencing and expressing our frailty is an integral part of the human growth process. We all experience moments of weakness and pain, and we must in order to grow. And when we are given opportunities to express that vulnerability we come to appreciate the strength that lies within it.

Pain is a call for love. In our coaching sessions we allow pain to arise naturally, to be seen for what it is, a call for love, and respond not from our past conditioning but from our soul, which sees pain as an opportunity to exhibit the compassion of spirit and to draw closer to another person. We may ask ourselves “What’s the most loving thing I can do right now?” I now hold the space for the client and recognise that the pain is not mine!

As deep coaches, we witness our clients struggling through their transformational process. As butterflies struggle to emerge from the chrysalis, it is a necessary part of transformation. We cannot circumvent it, or short cut it, and any attempt to do so would in some way deprive our clients of ‘vital fluids’ that are important to their transformation.

We are cultivating faith and trust to understand the mystery and magic of transformational process. Our role as deep coaches is to witness the natural unfolding of change, and to support our clients to lean into their experience and trust what is happening. To trust the process, wholly and completely, is to not need to know what is unfolding or why, but to simply be in the moment to experience it. This trust is something that both the coach and client can cultivate.

The Deep Coaching Intensive has influenced my personal journey of growth and transformation as I have quietly incorporated the practices into my life. I have experienced a slowing down and greater flow in life. I feel more focused, grounded, and have found a new connection with myself. These changes are life sustaining for me. I felt well supported. I feel less rushed, more patient with myself, and allow what wants to emerge with an acceptance of what is, knowing and trusting that things will naturally unfold and evolve as they are meant to be. I am learning to speak my truth from my heart.

In a recent conversation a metaphor came to mind of how I had at times felt in the past – a boat on the deep seas without a rudder! A rudderless boat in a storm, with wind and water pounding against the boat, not knowing how to protect myself, and feeling helpless.

Reflecting on my experience since the DCI I recognise changes in myself, in my daily living, my way of being, and the way I see the world. My relationships are changing, and others are noticing the changes in me. There is strength in being vulnerable, and I find a connection with others, allowing them to also be vulnerable. I am accepting myself as I am, allowing myself to see what others see in me, and trusting myself.

I have found my rudder and hold it lightly, with ‘pink knuckles’, taking responsibility for myself. I feel strong. I ask for support and what I need. Experiencing this new way I am creating imprints along the way, finding my rhythm and patterns, and living with a sense of ease and joy.

With my deeper understanding and acceptance of myself I am poised to support clients through their transformation. The experience continues to deepen. The caterpillar and butterfly metaphor is a great reminder of the transformation process and experience. I have found my definition of spirituality!