5.1.2 Idealized view of home

The idea of going home, particularly for those having lived abroad and dreamed of going “home ” for years, conjures up memories of familiar places, familiar people and routines of particular patterns of actions. These memories are enhanced and embellished over the years and over the miles so, it is not surprising that the memory’s image does not always match the reality. 

5.1.3 False expectations of total familiarity

Often children expect to be able to pick up exactly where they left off. A problem arises when reality doesn’t meet these expectations. Home may fall short of what they had envisioned.
It is important to explain clearly to children that they have changed during their period abroad. And so have their friends at home.

5.1.4 Lack of interest

Much frustration stems from what is perceived as disinterest by others in their experience and lack of opportunity to express their feelings and tell their stories. Nobody seems to really care. 
This may result in: frustration, feelings of alienation, and mutual misunderstandings.

5.2.  How can coaching be of help?

As stated earlier, the role of the parents is very important. They must realize that ultimately it is their responsibility to help their children through the re-entry phase. 

But it is also the phase where the children could benefit a lot from a coach. Re-entry is the key period when they are most vulnerable to being swept up in a group of friends they would never have chosen under normal circumstances. 

The coach can be of great help by:


It is essential to keep the communication lines open and to talk openly about the transition process and its challenges.

6. Conclusion

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. Albert Einstein
Those part of the small percentage of the world’s citizens that has had the opportunity to live life on another culture’s terms, have probably found that the experience awakened their senses and led them to new understandings and personal growth. 
Coming home might feel to them like a letdown after all that excitement. But it’s also an opportunity to put their new skills to use. Their challenge then is to take both the new knowledge and the exploration skills and integrate them permanently into their life ahead. It might sound like a daunting task, but with the help of a coach the newly discovered person is destined to thrive!

In the end, while most of the repatriates look back on their re-entry period as one of the most stressful parts of their international experience, they still wouldn’t have wanted to miss much of what they learned from the process.

Appendix

Examples of coaching questions for the assignee and the trailing spouse/partner

Before leaving the host country

After arrival in home country

Job-related questions?

Examples of coaching questions for the children