Goals:
Janet’s goals at the outset were:
The Coaching Process:
The remaining 11 coaching sessions took place over a period of four months. The coaching tools I used with Janet most effectively were powerful listening, powerful questioning, paraphrasing/mirroring, acknowledgment, and challenging her to use the resources at her disposal to research and expand her understanding of a given topic. These tools were employed in each coaching session and other tools such as observation/description, defining and checking her core values (identity), role playing, pros and cons, and visualization were utilized when needed. Janet gained many insights into her attitudes, underlying beliefs and values surrounding her appearance. The surprising outcome for me was that she also began to have insights about herself in other, seemingly unrelated, areas of life including seeing the interplay of the dynamics of her family, romantic relationships, work, and personality with her appearance. Rather than recounting each coaching session individually, I will describe the arc of Janet’s journey goal by goal.
Defining Her Style
Janet focused her attention on defining her sense of style. She discussed how she approached her style in the past and disclosed that she was uncertain what direction to go now that she was starting a new business. We discovered several factors to consider. She was aware that relocating to the Southwest meant there were different cultural norms for appearance in the business world but she still wasn’t quite sure what was expected. Secondly, she was raised to be very utilitarian and not spend much time or effort on her appearance. She struggled with balancing utility with the fun of “being a girl”. Lastly, she had lost a significant amount of weight over the last several years and her mental image of herself hadn’t caught up with her outward appearance.
To move Janet forward, we strategized ways she could:
Janet formulated a plan of action to:
The result was:
Communicating with Confidence
Janet chose to focus some of our coaching sessions on gaining confidence in communicating with beauty professionals about hair and makeup. She recounted her frustrating experiences over the last several years. She had never worn much makeup and had stopped wearing it entirely while she focused on school. She also found that her new location had a much warmer climate and when she did wear makeup, it seemed to need touching-up frequently and sometimes melted off completely. She also hadn’t found a new stylist that she really trusted. Each time she went to her hair appointment she had high hopes of getting a great haircut that wasn’t too hard to style and complemented her features. Unfortunately, she always left the salon feeling disappointed.
This lead her to believe that she lacked the vocabulary to accurately describe what she wanted. She also had a hard time finding a stylist that she connected with on a personal level. She didn’t just want a good cut, she also wanted to build a relationship with her stylist so that she could trust him/her to understand her lifestyle and see the whole picture when giving advise, tips, and input in the future. She felt a connection to her current stylist, but was unhappy with the cuts he gave her. She considered finding someone new but was uncertain she’d be able to find both the connection and the talent.