we hold ourselves accountable, we also empower ourselves.
Indeed, when we take ownership over our goals and our actions towards those goals, there is an unsurprising increased likelihood of success.
Our choices must be measured with some kind of accountability.
A choice without consequences is no choice at all, says Tom Robbins.
Accountability comes from within, and if we have taken the time to explore where our goals have come from — by a thorough scouring of core beliefs and values, powerful questions and deep soul-searching — we can proceed to take the appropriate actions knowing that we will be living our authentic life. In yoga, we find our personal edge and strive to hold our pose there, using the breath to sustain us. In life coaching, we also strive to reach that personal developmental edge. In her bestselling book Daring Greatly, Brene Brown says,
If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.
Vulnerability is not a weakness; instead, it is a porthole to facing anxiety, fear, shame, and other difficult emotions. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is but one choice we can make in widening our path of self-inquiry.
On the flip side, we must also be sure to “let go” of the things that we are not accountable for. If we acknowledge that only we can make ourselves happy, we must recognize that other people are responsible for their own happiness as well. We cannot do another person’s work for him. Too often, the unenlightened become over-invested in the way others (most commonly loved ones) live their lives and, unsolicited, undertake the work of managing their lives for them. As students and clients discover and learn about their own accountability, they are also freed from the responsibility of managing the happiness of anyone else. Letting go is a choice, and it can truly set you free. As coaches, we let go of the agenda, we detach from the outcome. We lead by example and show how this benefits both ourselves and the ones we seek to help.
From Awareness to Action
Once we have accomplished the breathing, relaxing, feeling, watching and “allowing”, then what? Are we empowered when we acquire all of this self-knowledge and awareness? I would argue that we are not empowered until we put our knowledge into action. Yoga, as meditation in motion, is physically an active pursuit. Life coaching is equally action-oriented! As coaches, we present “designing actions” and “planning and goal setting” as part of our core competencies for certification. If we are going to “manage progress and accountability” then we clearly must work towards a measurable goal. This process involves bringing the client into alignment with her deep, personal core values and then discovering a way — co-creating a plan with the client — to make them tangible.
In moving awareness into action, we may now make choices in designing an action plan, setting specific goals as well as managing progress and accountability; once we have clarified goals through self-inquiry, we look to achieving measurable results. Each client creates a unique self-development plan that she feels committed to and that allows her to feel nurtured and whole. An occasional set-back must not cause her to give up “in failure”, and the coach will remind her of the steps forward which indicate that she can and will succeed in achieving her goals.
Gratitude
Yoga and life coaching share many tools in which we can find a true picture of our world. One such tool is that of acknowledgement — of self and for others. Appreciation, and it’s close cousin gratitude, are huge perception shifters. We can move from saying “Why is this happening to me?” to “Why is this happening to me?” through a simple shift of perspective! It is the classic glass-half-empty quandary; perceived happiness is happiness. If we live in awe of the world’s magnificence, if we believe that everything in life is a miracle and honor what is ordinary, we are certainly less likely to blow out of proportion our personal grievances. In finding the more realistic middle path, we can ask ourselves — as Byron Katie does in The Work (Loving What Is) — “Is it true? Can you absolutely know that it’s true?” Her thesis states that we are unhappy because we place greater attachment on ourconcept of truth rather than on the investigated concepts which we simplybelieve to be true. We place tremendous pressure on ourselves purely on the basis of assumption and hypothesis. In his commentary on the yoga sutras, Bhagwan Rajneesh says,
Only the real can free you, only the reality can become the liberation.
A Course in Miracles, insists that “only reality is wholly safe.” Indeed, if we make the time and engage in the effort to question our assumptions about reality, we will undoubtedly discover the reasons for our unhappiness and finally be in a position to address them.
The process of self-discovery through yoga and through life coaching is quite similar. There are distinct parallels in moving towards clarity: calming the mind in a safe place and inner-exploration without judgement. Interestingly, at the core of each discipline, is the belief that
we have what we seek, it is there all the time, and if we give it time, it will make itself known to us.
The answers are inside of us all along. Feelings are facts; we must pay attention to them! The process of self-inquiry allows us to gather the tools we need to excavate, explore and bring up the essential qualities that we feel we need to live an authentic life. True happiness can only be found in acting in alignment with our deepest self.
The yogic philosophies and practices of breathing, non-judgement, perspective, awareness, choice, action and appreciation are all applicable in a coaching setting. I have learned through my ICA education and in related research, that the influences of these similarities in yoga and life coaching make me a better yogini and a better life coach.
Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. Barack Obama
Bibliography
The Upanishads are a collection of religious texts, written in Sanskrit and forming part of the Hindu scriptures. They were written between the 8th and 6th centuries BC. The Bṛhadāraṇyaka Upanishad is one of the older, "primary" (mukhya) Upanishads.
Kripalu School of Yoga teaching manual, p.7.1
Stephen Cope, Yoga and the Quest for the True Self, p.7
The Untethered Soul: the journey beyond yourself, by Michael A. Singer. New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 2007
ICA Reframing Perspectives module, p.1
Ibid.
ICA module, Reframing Perspectivess, p.4
Young India, 12-3-1925, pp.88-89. Young India was a weekly paper or journal, in English, published by Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi from 1919 to 1932. Ghandi used Young India to spread his unique ideology and thoughts regarding the use of non-violence in organizing movements and to urge readers to consider, organize, and plan for India's eventual independence from Britain.
ICA Accountability module, p.2
Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas, by Tom Robbins. Bantam, 1995
Daring Greatly: how the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live,love, parent and lead, by Brene Brown. Gotham Books, 2012.
ICF Core Competencies
Loving What Is: Four Questions that can Change Your Life, by Byron Katie with Stephen Mitchell. Harmony Books, 2002
"Bhagwan" or "Blessed One" Rajneesh (née Rajneesh Mohan Chandra Jain, 1931-1990)
A Course in Miracles: Foundation for Inner Peace, by Dr. Helen Schucman with william Thetford. Foundation for Inner Peace, 1976
Attributed to Thomas Merton, 1915-1968