Projection of your biases, Social biases, and Personal limitations might give you sympathy but can prevent empathy. Asking your client to tell you what they are feeling will prevent this. IF they struggle you can ask them to project on to a fictional character. Then you have their description and word for it.
Coaches seek to help. The temptation to do for a disabled always exists. In public situations this is expected. As a coach we need to encourage the client to do for themselves.
You need a good support system to pull you opt of the world of your client. Most of us find being disabled depressing. Thus you need a way to get yourself back into your life.
When most people think about the world of someone with a disability or chronic illness, they the get depressed. We don’t want to live like that. We have to learn like medical students to be empathetic without being sympathetic. You also need to learn how these people find joy in their lives. By finding out how those with less than you can enjoy life you will enjoy life as well.
When you are enjoying life as it is the motivation to change can wane. This often leads to anger in a coach or other person who seeks change. Reviewing the barriers to getting a fuller life with a disability or chronic illness will help here.
Not only should you not always expect great changes but the outcome will not always be what either of you expected. Your client might get training and return to a job only to find many new barriers. There is prejudice to disability and illness. It might seem like the client askes for special treatment. This is especially so when under ADA some parts of the job get transferred to others. The disabled employee only needs to perform the “Essential” parts of the job. They might even b preformed in a different manner than most of his coworkers. Thus resentment can arise, even if prejudice did not exist.
Many people with disabilities need to take breaks or work shorter hours. This too can lead to workplace resentment. It impedes integration into the workplace social network as well.
Also the obtainable outcome of coaching might not be what either of you sought. You might seek to balance your client’s budget by increasing income, and find that it balances with decreased expenditures. That might mean that finding a job will have less motivation.
Finally disability and illness are part of the spiral that will lead to our deaths. While we fight that process, we will have TO come to terms with that outcome eventually. You or your client might not be ready for that.
Issues and some resources
- One that might give you good breadth is http://www.itsmymove.org
- Personal care: Just because one needs health with these does not mean they can’t work or do other things.
These can be provided by others and are often done by a paid Personal Care Attendant”. When a family or friend does them they too might be able to be paid for their time and effort. Checking with your client’s local health or social services departments would be good places to start. Private health insurance might also pay for these services. - Emotional control: Does your client express emotions that prevent them from taking constructive action? Do they get angry or depressed easily?
- Social skills: how do they function when out of the house and needing to do things like shop, travel, etc.? Can they make and keep friends?
- Spiritual skills: Have they mastered a technique to get in touch with God or the Universe? (Since much pain can be associated with the spiritual you might want to avoid or refer this to your client’s religious leader.)
Bio: how are the parts of your client’s body functioning?
Psycho: IF your client seems to be angry, depressed, or have a potential psychiatric problem the Global Assessment of Functioning (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_Assessment_of_Functioning) would be a good place to start. (This article is linked to many other self-administered tests for emotional problems.
Social: what groups of people do they meet with regularly and what roles do they take with these people?
Spiritual: two books that explore these more are “Stages of Faith: The Psychology of Human Development and the Quest for Meaning” by James W. Fowler and “The Stages of Spiritual Growth” By Scott Peck, M.D.[/bullet_block]