4.5. Walk through your fears
According to Anthony (2008), “a person’s fear of rejection and failure and his need for approval holds him prisoner”. If you fear failure, you will become hesitant. Fear will hold you back. Fear will limit you, it will make you go against yourself and loose control of your situation. In order to dissolve away your fears, you must be ready to take risks and commit to do the things you are afraid of. Anthony (2008) also mentions that “the only way to overcome fear is to do the thing you fear the most”.
Wilding and Palmer (2010) emphasize that “there is no such concept as failure unless you choose to believe so, (…) there are only successes and learning experiences”. They also stress the importance of differentiating between one’s behavior and the person himself. Accordingly, when somebody fails to complete a task, this does not make him a failure or a worthless person. This is a person taking risks and trying out new things. Approaching failures as learning experiences, as challenges rather than threats, you commit to gaining knowledge, you commit to growth and you don’ t allow fear to stop you from getting what you really want.
4.6. Action Time
Some people have no clue what they want. Endless opportunities can pass them by and go unnoticed because they don’t know where they want to get. Other people sit around all day, dreaming of the ideal life but don’ t really do anything in order to make their dreams come true. Change, transformation and growth will not happen unless they know clearly what they want and decide to take action.
4.6.1. Set goals
What are your dreams? What is your life purpose, what could you do to achieve it? Dedicate your energy and time to this area of your life because if you do work at it, this could make you live a happy, fulfilled life. Goals keep you focused and give you a meaning and a purpose in life. Without a goal you will just wonder through life without direction, feeling lost and pointless. Even if this might be what happened to you until now, don’t look back. The past was than, the present is here, right now. Set yourself some life goals and go and get them.
Anthony (2008) underlines that, “You will feel a tremendous surge of self-confidence and power if you take the time to choose a worthy goal and make a plan for your life”.
4.6.2. Break down big goals into smaller steps
Having a big goal might be overwhelming at first. However, the fact is that any problem can be solved if it is broken down in small enough pieces. That’s why the secret to approaching any goal, is to break it down into smaller steps.
Small successes give a boost to self-confidence, thus create numerous small goals that you can achieve as you move towards your big goal. Setting small goals is critical so that you can experience success along the way to your ultimate goal.
4.6.3. Remain in action
Keep moving forward and you won’t have time to feel depressed. Action will occupy your mind and give you something to look forward to. Once you get some results, you’ll build momentum and positive thinking will keep getting easier. Think of at least one thing that you could do today which will take you in the direction of living your dreams and do it. Do that every day. Prevent slipping into old patterns. Remember that unless you give up you cannot fail.
4.6.4. Do not compare yourself to others
Avoid comparing yourself with others. Everybody is different, everybody has different strengths and weaknesses. By continuously comparing yourself with others, you might end up comparing your weaknesses to their strengths. This can result in feeling depressed, putting yourself down and lowering your self-esteem. Replace negative comparisons with positive, affirmative statements about yourself. Looking at yourself independently will help you focus on your own strengths and abilities.
4.6.1. Reward yourself
Celebrate, acknowledge and reward yourself for the achievement of goals because you deserve it. Each acknowledgment and encouragement is a powerful tool to keep you motivated, to stimulate further action and movement forward.