WHO AM I?
Path4TeensTM begins with a simple, easily accessible personality assessment entitled Path Elements ProfileTM, by Laurie Beth Jones (PEP). The beauty of the PEP assessment is several-fold. First, the assessment is a quick online questionnaire that takes a participant less than 10 minutes to complete.
Secondly, the acronyms of the Elements:
are short, simple, easy to use, easy to remember and therefore, easy to put into practice. These Elements are easily identifiable in nature, which assists teens (and those whose primary language is not English) with identifying qualities of each of the Elements. It is also easy to see how the four Elements can work together in a balanced and beautiful way – within nature and within the individual.
The PEP assessment is less academic than DISC, or Meyers-Briggs, which makes it a superior choice for the particular application of use with children and teens. The results are more skeletal in nature, leaving room for young people to understand their Elemental personality tendencies and learn how to move effectively among them as circumstances warrant. The PEP is a profoundly simple and universal personality assessment tool used to increase human understanding and performance.
The PEP provides the teen and the coach with a foundation on which to build an effective coaching relationship and a strong first building block of UNIQUENESS for their work together in developing a teen’s personal mission statement and personal vision statement. Quite simply, PEP is the first step to reclaiming HOPE in a teen’s life helping them to grasp just how UNIQUE they really are.
After exploring the PEP with the teen, it is imperative that the coach and client explore the positive and negative prophecies and self-talk that teens receive, both internally and externally. This is the moment where stillness and contemplation muscles must be strengthened so that teens are equipped to distinguish between the positive and negative messages, discard messages that do serve them well, and practice speaking encouraging messages to themselves.
This practice is a wonderful combination of embracing the HOPE of their UNIQUENESS along with developing the SKILL of self-awareness. This SKILL step will embolden HOPE to grow and at the same time will be a skill to return to again and again.
Finally, in this stage of the HOPE process, it is critical for the teen to take a careful and extensive stock of the talents that they feel they possess. This should begin with an exhaustive list of things they are good at, things that someone else has said they are good at, and things they love. Our objective at the end of this process is to narrow the list down to four (4) favorites that the teen feels best represents them – a talent shield of sorts, representing the teen as a family crest or family shield did in times past.
This is HOPE for the individual teen – the discovery of their UNIQUENESS through PEP.
WHAT IS MY MISSION?
If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there. The average person makes 612 decisions per day. Each one takes us either closer to, or farther from our stated mission in life.
The second emphasis of Path4TeensTM focuses on having each teen develop a personal mission statement – the second of the SKILLS as we begin building on our unique PEP foundation. This critical work begins from a point of wonder and openness.
What is a mission statement? A mission statement is a clearly defined, written down reason for being, which is part of a larger plan. It is the key to finding your path in life and may also be referred to as a calling. A mission statement helps a teen to initiate, evaluate, refine and re-check daily events and activities.
Webster’s defines “mission” as follows:
- A specific task that a person or group of persons is sent to perform;
- The place of work of such persons, or the territory of their responsibility;
- A military operation designed to carry out goals of a specific program;
- An allotted or self-imposed duty or task; calling.
Teen’s are encouraged to define mission encompassing all four (4) points above and then ask themselves if they are willing to be open to seeing a “path” for themselves that they might not have thought of before. To be open we explore the ways in which each individual spends quiet time alone – listening to music, taking a walk, journaling, reading, shopping, work – the list can be endless. It is also important to investigate why it is important to quiet oneself in order to write a mission statement or even to make plans for the upcoming week.
There are three (3) simple elements to a good mission statement:
- A mission statement should be no more than a single sentence long;
- It can be easily understood by a 12 year old; and
- It can be recited by memory at any moment.
Many an official mission statement is so long and full of technical, multi-syllable words that people rarely relate to them. Ideally a coach will start by working with a teen client reading through several sample mission statements, and to try to write simple mission statements for famous or influential people that are familiar to them.
It is also important for the teen coach to educate the teen on the Seven Pillars of Society as part of their work in putting context around a mission statement.
The Seven Pillars of Society are as follows:
- Business
- Education
- Health Care
- Government
- Faith or Service Organizations
- The Mass Media
- The Disenfranchised
After uncovering the mission statements of others, and locating the Pillar of Society that the famous person did their work in, it is now time to focus on writing a mission statement of their own. Begin by choosing a core value – what is it that makes the heart sing, what is something you wish for, what is something that motivates you, or keeps you going when the chips are down? What word describes what you most want to “be about” in this world? A core value is a concept or principle that makes you feel your life is worth living.
So, a mission statement begins with a core value. Every mission statement then requires action, and action words are verbs. The teen will choose three (3) verbs that excite and inspire them and then test them alongside of their core value.
EXAMPLE: My mission is to INSPIRE, DISCOVER and ENCOURAGE UNIQUENESS.
Uniqueness is the core value.
The three (3) action verbs are to inspire, discover and encourage.
The choices of verbs have been crosschecked with the core value as follows:
- Can you inspire uniqueness?
- Can you discover uniqueness?
- Can you encourage uniqueness?
Yes, yes and YES! A good mission statement will be inspiring, exciting, clear, true and engaging?
It is also important to note that a good mission statement will have overarching application in your life.
- Is it you?
- Is it true?
- Does it excite you?
- Would you be willing to have your life be about this and only this?
- Can you do this at college/school/work?
- Can you do it at home? How do you live your mission at home?
- Can you do it at a party?
- Can you do it alone?
A good mission statement is a written-down reason for being. It is a key to finding your Path in life.
At the end of the What is My Mission? section of Path4TeensTM, the teen student will have identified his/her core value, selected relevant action words and chosen a Pillar of Society in which he/she wants to apply this core value.
What is My Vision?
Life doesn’t just happen to us. We help shape it through our words, our thoughts, our actions, the friends we choose. People can change their lives for better or for worse by changing the way they make decisions and how they choose to spend their time and talents.
Imagine that a classroom of students has been divided into 2 groups and each group has been given a puzzle to complete. Group 1 has been given a puzzle in a plastic bag and Group 2 has been given a puzzle in its original box. Which group will have the easiest time completing their puzzle? Of course, the group with the “plan” or the picture of the puzzle to work with will have the easiest time. That is how a VISION works. If you can see it, you can do it!
Creating a VISION statement is the third section of the Path4TeensTM curriculum and the second of the SKILLS taught as we build upon the foundation of HOPE. There are four (4) key elements to a strong VISION statement.
- A vision statement is written down;
- It is written in the present tense, as if it has already been accomplished;
- It covers a variety of activities and time frames; and
- It is filled with descriptive details that anchor it to reality.
A teen begins the vision statement process by listing the things they want more of and less of in their lives and then they “visualize” their lives being lived in the most fantastic and fulfilling way imaginable. How will your Element (PEP) be most effectively used?
A sample of a vision statement follows:
VISION STATEMENT:
I am living at least 6 months of the year (not consecutively) in Blue Ridge, GA, conducting seminars for schools, churches and small businesses using the Mountain Hideaway cabin as a Retreat Center for the seminars. The cabin is a warm and inviting hideaway, surrounded by woods and a variety of natural beauty. The interior of this oasis is deliciously appointed with comfortable furniture that draws you in and is infused with smells of cinnamon and fresh apples.
The seminars offered at the Retreat are a mix of Path4Teens retreats, and marriage seminars (overnight Friday and all day Saturday) using The Path, PEP assessments and “Love & War” by John and Stasi Eldredge.
I employ some family members like Lisa and Ashley as bakers/cooks, Pam of PK Designs as the decorator/event coordinator and my husband as the Director of Operations.
Additionally, I travel 25% or less, of the time to give PEP seminars within the surrounding areas to churches, small businesses or teams within businesses.
The other 6 months of the time (again, not consecutively) I am living and working out of the Southeastern PA and Delaware area traveling and conducting seminars, Path4Teens classes, Path4Kids classes and The Path classes for schools, non-profits, churches and small businesses or teams within small businesses.
I have succeeded in getting Path4Teens and Path4Kids as part of the guidance counseling process in our school systems.
I have enough money to live comfortably and have the means to cover medical expenses – seen and unforeseen.
I continue to be happily married to my husband, enjoy being a mother to our grown children and a grandparent when the time comes.
After working on the writing of a Vision Statement, the teen and coach will begin the work of moving from writing your mission to living your vision.
There are eight (8) Action Steps in this process as follows:
- Get the Facts: learn as much as you can about the pieces of your mission process – your mission field;
- Get a Goal: boil your mission statement down to a single goal or task;
- Examine your Resources: talents, training, time, friends, health, hobbies;
- Use your Past: get help from parents, grandparents, youth leaders, teachers, coaches, neighbors;
- Give them something tangible to remember you by: How do people remember you once they meet you? – Brainstorm a list of creative ideas;
- Break ranks and be Bold: what is holding you back? What would you be doing if you were 10 times bolder? Are you being active or killing time?
- Get visible: In order to succeed you and your mission must be seen;
- Saturate everything you do with positive thinking and meditation.
The teen student will then apply the eight action steps to a real-life situation as they begin a community service project within their chosen Pillar of Society. They will create a written plan for the project using the eight action steps to design the project and using their PEP results to empower them to work more efficiently and communicate more effectively with those they have chosen to include in their Community Service Project.
Can teens benefit from coaching?
Blogger Debra Fine, author of “Beyond Texting: The Fine Art of Face to Face Communication for Teenagers”, states,
…without face to face communication skills, the next generation will be unable to make conversation, ask for a date, propose to a mate and thus, create the next generation. The entire generation will die off if we do not teach our teens how to communicate!3
While Ms. Fine’s comments are clearly humorous, they are not far off the mark. My thesis however, is that we must first coach our teens toward seeing just how unique they really are – uniquely sized, shaped, colored and gifted to fulfill their purpose in this world. No one else can take their place and if they don’t fulfill their unique purpose then the tapestry that we call the puzzle of life will forever be missing the unique puzzle piece that they are.
Laurie Beth Jones’, work Path4TeensTM, is a magnificent tool to put into a coaching toolkit for purposes of bringing HOPE to, and facilitating the development of SKILLS in young people.
Can teens benefit from coaching?
ABSOLUTELY! What a privilege it is for us as coaches to extend our expertise and passion for coaching to the next generation. Who knows what great things will come into our world by simply coaching one teen into defining and fulfilling their life’s purpose.
ENDNOTES
“Teens Turn to Life Coaches to Cope with Pressures”, by Leanne Italie
11/2/11, Associated Press Ibid.
“Beyond Texting: The Fine Art of Face to Face Communication for Teenagers”, by Debra Fine