A Research Paper created by Andrea Winzer
(Life Transformation Coach, UNITED STATES)
Purpose of the Research Paper
The purpose of this research paper is to explore the role and importance of self care and how coaching can facilitate raising awareness, creating supportive structures, as well as implementing effective self-care strategies as part of a healthy and balanced lifestyle.
What is Self Care
In 1998, a special working group of the World Health Organization (WHO) offered an inclusive definition of Self Care: “Self Care in health refers to the activities individuals, families and communities undertake with the intention of enhancing health, preventing disease, limiting illness, and restoring health. These activities are derived from knowledge and skills from the pool of both professional and lay experience. They are undertaken by lay people on their own behalf, either separately or in participative collaboration with professionals.” [1]
In essence, self care involves being aware of one’s very own, unique physical, emotional, spiritual, psychological, financial, professional and/or recreational needs, i.e. knowing what contributes to a healthy, balanced, peaceful, and joyful sense of well-being, and consistently taking the necessary steps to implement appropriate actions in daily life. Taking effective care of oneself is a commitment that needs to be maintained on a continuous basis and involves three different levels of engagement: Understanding/Awareness, Learning/Creation of Structures, and Practice/Accountability.
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The Importance of Self-Care
Norcross & Guy (2007)[2] clearly indicate the central importance of the commitment to self care by stating “Self-care is not a narcissistic luxury to be fulfilled as time permits; it is a human requisite, a clinical necessity, and an ethical imperative.”According to Corey, Schneider Corey, and Callanan (2011)[3], “Self care is not an indulgence. It is necessary to prevent distress, burnout, impairment, and to maintain a level of psychological and physical wellness.”
Self Care is deeply connected with the acceptance and love for oneself as well as with the reverence for one’s very unique skills, talents, character traits, and body features. Loving and honestly caring for oneself lays the groundwork for a happy, balanced, and joyful life. Being deeply connected with one’s own needs and wants and setting the appropriate actions to fulfill and integrate them into daily life, opens the door to creativity, success, passionate living, and fulfilling one’s unique purpose in this world.
Lack of Self-Care and Consequences
Lack of self care always has serious consequences on many different levels and impacts a person’s physical and emotional well-being. Numerous studies have shown that individuals, who fail to exercise regularly, eat right, get sufficient sleep and find satisfaction in their work and personal lives experience higher levels of depression, anxiety, and illnesses, such as heart disease, stroke, or other chronic diseases. Another common consequence of neglecting one’s own self care, especially when working in a helping profession or being a caretaker, is a syndrome called Compassion Fatigue [4] , a form of burnout that manifests itself as physical, emotional, and spiritual exhaustion.
[2] Norcross, J.C., & Guy, J.D. (2007) Leaving it at the office: A guide to psychotherapist self care. New York: Guilford Press
[3] Corey, G., Schneider Corey, M. & Callanan, P. (2011) Issues and Ethics in the Helping Professions (8th edition). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning
[4] http://www.compassionfatigue.org
When focusing on the needs of others more than on oneself, destructive behaviors that are associated with the secondary traumatic stress disorder, including apathy, isolation, explosive expression of bottled up emotions, substance abuse, or obsessive behaviors such as overeating, overspending or gambling, can surface.
These symptoms can lead into a downward spiral and take a tremendous toll on the overall well-being of the individual, which in turn decreases the ability to take care of oneself and others or find fulfillment in one’s professional or personal life.
Common Misconceptions around Self Care
The concept of self care is fraught with misconceptions and misinformation and is often connected with feelings of selfishness, narcissism, guilt, and shame. Most people are taught from a very early age on to take care of everybody else except themselves, to be “a good girl/boy” and to put their own needs, dreams, and wishes on the bottom of the list. The consequences of this self-neglecting behavior affect not only the well-being of the single individual, but also impact the functionality and health of relationships, families, communities, and essentially the whole society.
Being asked what they do for “self care”, most people think of pampering or indulging themselves by getting a pedicure, a massage or going to a fancy restaurant and they often feel guilty about it. Although these activities are definitely valuable and can support a healthy lifestyle, true self care is the continuous maintenance of one’s physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental health.
Research Method
For the purpose of this research paper, I conducted a survey among 20 coaching students and experienced coaches consisting of 10 questions related to the topic of self care and the role coaching can play in supporting the development of healthy self care behaviors (see Appendix). In addition, published materials as well as various coaching tools (established as well as my own) were researched and reviewed.
The Role of Coaching in Supporting Healthy Self Care
According to the International Coaching Federation (ICF) [5], coaching is “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.” This unique relationship sets the stage for deep exploration, discovery, growth, and transformation in many areas of a client’s life and is especially effective in supporting the issue of healthy self care. When working the coaching process, the coach first assesses the current situation and observes the obvious challenge. As a next step, the coach focuses on the source of the problem, rather than on the symptoms and by doing so, the client is encouraged to look for the undercurrent, the underlying beliefs, and the truth behind the existing behavior. This work opens the door for awareness and honest self-exploration which eventually, if the client is ready willing and able, leads to change and lasting transformation.
When approaching the topic of self care, there are three levels of engagement that need to be explored and worked with in order to facilitate healthy change and long-lasting success: Understanding, Learning, and Practicing Self Care.
Understanding Self Care
As mentioned above, the topic of self care is very controversial for most people. Self care is associated with unjustified selfishness or self-centeredness and therefore many people feel guilty when they even think about taking time for themselves or making their own needs a priority. In the survey conducted with 20 coaching students and professional coaches (Appendix A), 75% of the participants express that they only sometimes pay attention to their own needs and 25% state that they hardly ever pay attention to their own needs.
Although 100% of the respondents agree that there is a connection between happiness and self care, only a small percentage of the population makes self care a priority in their life, mainly due to a lack of knowledge and awareness.
[5] http://www.coachfederation.org/ethics/
Coaching Approach
The first level of engagement when working with clients is helping them understand that self care is not about pampering oneself, but about owning one’s personal power and deeply honoring one’s inner worth. In this stage of the process, the coach leads the client into exploring their unique values, uncovering underlying beliefs around self care, clarifying common misconceptions, and creating awareness how self care or the lack thereof affect them in their personal and professional life.
This can be a very challenging process when clients, maybe for the first time in their life, are encouraged to look at the truth of why they are giving too much at their own expense. The role of the coach in this stage is to create a safe space for the client while actively and deeply listening and asking powerful questions.
Coaching Tools and Practices
During this first part of the process tools like the Wheel of Self Care (an adapted version of the Wheel of Life), Self Care Assessments (e.g. , the exploration of areas where the client feels deprived and burnt out as well as working with feeling lists can be helpful
Learning Self Care
Awareness opens the door to a new perspective and creates valuable insights. However, knowledge is not enough to create a lasting transformation. Self Care, like any other skill, needs to be learned and practiced to eventually become a permanent part of a person’s life. Creating specific action steps regarding self care based on the clients’ needs is a very powerful process and can serve as “rocket fuel” by simultaneously boosting other parts of their lives, which in turn leads to more fulfillment, balance, and essentially happiness.
Coaching Approach
In this second level of engagement, the coach supports clients in their unique learning process regarding self care. Depending on the respective area of self care (physical, emotional, spiritual, mental, etc.), different tools can be used to very specifically create an action plan a client feels comfortable with and is able to implement in his/her life. It is important at this stage to foster the learning process for the client with concrete challenges and goal-setting to move the process of making self care a permanent part of a client’s life along.
Coaching Tools and Practices
Some of the tools that can be used in this process are meditation, visualization, creating a health- and/or fitness plan, exercises supporting the client in learning how to speak up for themselves, how to say no to overwhelm and too much responsibility, clarify what they need or want, work on strategies to find time for oneself in a busy schedule, or exploring interrupted dreams and hidden passions.
Practicing Self Care
Practicing self care is not a singular event, but a lifelong commitment. Having understood and created awareness about the importance of self care as well as created structures to effectively implement self care into one’s daily life, the client now needs to create a momentum to let self care become a habit, an indispensable part of their life. In this third level of engagement, the coach supports the client in creating long-term strategies and structures for accountability. The coach also celebrates with the client and reviews the wonderful changes that increased self care has brought into their life.
Coaching Approach
After the initial fire and excitement of starting a new project or trying out a new idea subsides, persistence and perseverance is necessary in order to create a successful outcome. The same is true for practicing effective self care. In this third level of engagement, it is therefore crucial that the coach supports the client in creating long term structures for implementation of and accountability for the self care approaches they have learned.
Coaching Tools and Practices
In this part of the process, tools like a vision board, weekly or monthly checklists as well as regular follow-up sessions with a coach can be used to support the client on his journey.
Conclusion
Self care is an essential foundation for a balanced, happy and healthy life. Taking good care of oneself is in no way selfish, it is giving oneself the gift of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual wellness.
Coaching focuses on the improvement of a person as a whole, on exploring and developing their full potential and bringing their dreams to life as well as nurturing and supporting their growth on a physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual level. The coaching approach therefore can very effectively support clients in understanding that self care is not indulgence, but a responsibility for one’s own life, in learning new ways of self care that fits a person’s unique lifestyle and circumstances and in creating structure to successfully practice self care as an integral part of daily life.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
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[2] Norcross, J.C., & Guy, J.D. (2007) Leaving it at the office: A guide to psychotherapist self care. New York: Guilford Press
[3] Corey, G., Schneider Corey, M. & Callanan, P. (2011) Issues and Ethics in the Helping Professions (8th edition). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning
[4] Smith, P. (2012). To Weep for a Stranger: Compassion Fatigue in Caregiving, Compassion Fatigue Awareness Project (http://www.compassionfatigue.org)
[5] International Coaching Federation (http://icf.com)
[6] American Academy of Family Physicians (www.aafp.com)
[7] Social Work p.r.n. (http://swprn.com)
[8] Self Care For the Family Caregiver )
[9] Richardson, C. (2009) The Art of Extreme Self Care. Hay House, Inc.
[10] Aron, E.N. (2010), The Undervalued Self. New York/Boston/London: Little, Brown and Company
APPENDIX: Survey
Question 1:
How would you define self care?
Question 2:
What is your first reaction when somebody advises you to take better care of yourself (i.e. do something just for yourself, for your very own enjoyment or pleasure)?
Question 3:
If you think about your own needs, dreams, and wishes, how much attention do you pay to them?
Question 4:
Do you think that there is a connection between self care and happiness?
Question 5:
As a coach, what role does self care play in your work with your clients?
Question 6:
How often does self care become a topic in your coaching relationships with your clients?
Question 7:
What tools do you use to help you clients understand, learn, and practice (better) self care?
Question 8:
How does improved self care influence and affect your clients in reaching their goals?
Question 9:
Research has shown that not taking care of oneself in different areas of life can have tremendous impact on our physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual health. Do you agree, based on your experience from your own life as well as your work as a coach? (Please explain)
Question 10:
Would you agree that coaching supports clients in understanding, learning, and practicing more effective self care, which leads to a more balanced, happier and more successful life? (Please explain)