HALF FULL LOVE TANK
What in the world is a half-full love tank?! I have sat with a blank page for days now, knowing there is something here to be explored and having no idea what it is. I ask myself, “If we are currently not empty and not full/overflowing, why is it such a challenge to describe where exactly we are?”
A half-full love tank suddenly becomes as clear as a cloudless sky. I pray you see it as well. Have you become so focused on where you have been (no love of self) and where you are headed (loving yourself and others in a healthy wholesome manner) that you have failed to notice; or even despised where you are? May I propose that where you are, in fact, where we all are in different aspects of our lives is this in-between place?
Half-full or in-between is having an awareness of who you are and an experience of who you are not. Do you want to thrive in in-between? Let me show you how.
I am generous
How are you, in this moment, showering your “self” with generosity? Here are a few questions that are worth asking in the first person.
By now, you are becoming more aware of the recipient of your generosity, your kindness, your faithfulness, your self-control.
Can you see some equality in the way you treat you and how you treat others. Could you have spent all this time escaping from your “self” by projecting your desires on other people? Do you show mercy and grace to everyone but yourself? Are you your own worst critic? Are you constantly scolding yourself for actions and omissions? Well, stop it and be nice to you!
Can you really offer genuine unconditional love to anyone if you have not first offered it to yourself? Can you invite someone into an experience, a love affair if you will, that is foreign to you? It is your choice.
Offer yourself your generosity, your patience and kindness and you will find that there is more than enough to go round. The more good you offer yourself, the more good you are able to offer to the people you are in relationshi with.
I offer permission
To have come this far in your journey of loving self and others is worth celebrating. Give yourself permission to celebrate.
Celebrate your deepening self-awareness. Celebrate the choices you are making.
Celebrate how far you have come. Celebrate the fact that where you are right now is not the finished product – you are still work in progress and there is yet more magnificence to uncover and glorious wonder to explore.
Yes! You are magnificent and you are a glorious wonder. You know it about yourself and you see it in others, so why not celebrate the truth? If you can permit yourself to be magnificent, from the pure love in you, you will permit everyone else to be magnificent too.
When you see magnificence in you, you will see magnificence in everyone. It is like buying a car and suddenly seeing that make and model everywhere.
THE IMPACT OF A “FULL’ LOVE TANK ON RELATIONSHIPS
In your focused activity – loving your self and others – you will find yourself making different choices in your relating to others. These choices are your responsibility. You will become more aware that another person’s behavior, reaction or response should have no bearing on your decision to align more closely to your thoughts and behaviors toward your self and the other person. Notice that feelings are omitted here, for you will still fee pain, disappointment, displeasure and even anger. Despite your feelings, you are now more empowered to be more fully aligned to your values, beliefs and choices.
Two simple choices, that you may find yourself making, are:
Photo vs video
Do bear in mind that you will probably want to practise these choices on yourself first before you are truly offer these same choices to others.
Now if you take responsibility for loving your ‘self’; your behavior; your beliefs and your responses, and if you choose to live from a perspective of unconditional love in each moment, guess who’s going to change and be true, lacking guile and contradictions? Yes, you!
Now, what impact could your life make in your world if you lived this way? The ripple effect could be enormous. Therefore it is worth a try. Take responsibility. Live from love. See yourself and others as a video (as in forward motion) rather than a photo (as in static and still).
Take delight
When about to interact, you could choose to wait until you feel delight toward another person. What does delight look like? Delight could be honor – you could actually choose to joyfully honor the creatively unique glory each person possesses. This glory could be skills learned, values cherished, beliefs held. And the wondrous thing is, this person’s glory could be completely different from your glory. Difference is no longer celebrated or punished for it is no longer a factor that affects your choice. The choice is simply this – wait, look, find, delight in another person and then fully immerse self in the interaction or encounter.
THE COACHING PROCESS
All of this, I have taken into my coaching relationships and I am starting to see the fruit of my choices. If you wish to build healthy relationships and would like to start with you, here is my top recommendation – find yourself a coach!
Here are some benefits of the coaching relationship.
WHAT YOUR COACH BRINGS
WHAT YOU GAIN
The most wonderful outcome of the coaching relationship is empowerment. In the process of developing a working trusting relationship with your coach you will find that in choosing to love your ‘self’, you will be better equipped to love others.
In conclusion, I offer you an invitation. Do you desire a deeper, more meaningful relationship with your loved ones and colleagues? The answer may lie in a deeper, more meaningful and loving relationship with yourself.