A Coaching Power Tool By Cyril Mehanna, Life Coach and Wellness Coach, GHANA
My Personal Path to Stillness vs. (E)Motion
My personal path has led me to always be proactive, always pushing one step further, and always being in motion. Not to confuse Motion and Action. It is not always about being in action, but rather always being in movement, constantly. Motion.
Reflecting on the various periods of my life, I noticed some things never change. My desire to always be moving, my fear of being trapped or stuck, my way of pushing people into action, and my ever-evolving connection to my emotions and my intuition ( I insist on clarifying that emotion and intuition are distinct but closely related).
My desire to always be on the move can be seen in all the different periods of my life. That can explain why I already lived in Five (5) different countries at the age of 29 (with at least one year in each country), how I have achieved so many different levels of learning and diplomas, and how I opened my own company at the age of 25. Grateful for where I am and what I have achieved, but never completely satisfied, I’m always on the search for the next adventure and ready for the next step.
I believe that this will and energy to move forward comes from this fear I have of being trapped. it is so easy to get stuck, paralyzed, and not be able to take one more step. Because we are afraid. Because of the unknown. Because our own mind plays some tricks on us, or simply because our emotions are far too great and uncontrollable, that they take over. I’ve been there. We’ve all been there once in our life. In the end, what’s important is for us to find a way to unblock our minds and understand these emotions, to better control them. Sometimes all we need is a little push.
And this is why now I understand my strong desire to always push people to act and to keep moving. It’s never easy, and it was not always easy. I, however, strongly believe that it is doable, and everyone can do it. No matter what target you set for yourself, no matter what background or past experiences you have, and no matter how many times you got stuck or for how long, everyone has this energy ball inside of them to take the step and keep moving. Each and every one of us has the tools at his disposal to stay in motion. And I have this strong desire of pushing others out of their “stuck” moments and into motion. The two things that saved me from my “stuck” moments, were my understanding of my emotion (and my acceptance), and my trust in my intuition.
My emotions, like everyone else, played many tricks. Described as over-emotional by my entourage in my early years, I have, with the help of many people around me, learned to better understand my emotions and master my emotions, just by letting them be. Of course, I still have some tough times when emotions try to take over, but these are moments when my energy takes over my fears to keep me in motion. As for my intuition, I am always nourishing my connection to my gut, and always listening to it, which, instinctively and kind of automatically, keeps me moving. Not always asking myself how or why.
So it seems natural to present my power tool of Stillness vs. (e)motion.
Stillness vs. (E)Motion
Stillness vs (e)motion is a power tool that includes two “flip it” in one.
Let me first explain what I mean by stillness. I would define stillness not as the absence of movement, but rather as the absence of motion. The difference is subtle, but I would consider stillness as a lack of progress, but not a lack of evolution, as stillness can represent introspection, reflection, and mindfulness. In my opinion, you can be in movement without progressing or evolving. (Let’s take the example of moving in circles). Motion on the other side is what keeps you in action (not in movement), and thus, keeps you growing. This can even mean letting go and following the flow, or taking the wave. It’s not always about provoking things, but rather about following things the way they go.
This extract from Lao Tsu that Marthe Beck explains in her book “Finding your own Northstar” can help understand the difference between motion and movement.
For the emotion part that is included in this power tool, it is important to note that emotions are a big factor to consider because emotions have the power to keep us moving as well as the power to keep us still. Emotional breakdowns may paralyze us, and emotional stability can assure us to always be in motion.
My Power Tool in Coaching
There are two ways this power tool can be used in coaching.
The first one is related to past experiences and the existing state of mind, hence stillness vs emotion, and the second one is related to the future, the action plan, hence stillness vs motion.
Let’s start with stillness vs. emotion.
Emotions have the power to overtake our decisions, darken our minds, paralyze our actions, and get us stuck. But In life coaching, emotions can provide valuable insights into the client’s thoughts, beliefs, and values. By acknowledging and processing their emotions, clients can gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their needs, leading to greater self-awareness and personal growth.
The balance between stillness and emotion in a coaching session will help create a safe and supportive environment where clients can explore both aspects of their experience. By guiding clients through moments of stillness and encouraging them to process their emotions, a life coach can help clients to develop greater self-awareness, clarity, and resilience in the face of challenges.
The key is to create a supportive space where clients feel empowered to explore both the stillness and the emotions within themselves, leading to greater self-awareness and personal growth.
Now for stillness vs. motion.
Both stillness and motion are important in life coaching, and the right balance between the two will depend on the needs and goals of the client.
However, motion is a stronger tool to develop. Action is necessary to make progress toward goals and to turn intentions into reality. Clients must be willing to take concrete steps toward their desired outcome, even if it involves stepping out of their comfort zone or confronting challenges along the way. As a life coach, I must help clients break down their goals into smaller, actionable steps, and to develop a plan for moving forward that is realistic, achievable, and aligned with their values and priorities.
In practice, I usually use a combination of stillness and motion to support my clients. For example, a coaching session may begin with a moment of stillness and set the intentions for the session. As the session progresses, I help the client to identify actionable steps toward their goal and to develop a plan for moving forward. Along the way, I usually encourage the client to reflect on their progress and to check in with their inner voice to ensure they are staying true to their values and priorities.
Ultimately, the balance between stillness and motion will depend on the needs and goals of the client. Some clients may need more time for introspection and reflection, while others may benefit from a more action-oriented approach. My role is to help clients find the right balance between stillness and motion and to develop a plan for achieving their goals that is both grounded in self-awareness and practical in its execution.
In conclusion, in life coaching, there is a balance to be found between stillness and motion. Stillness represents a state of calm, introspection, and reflection. It can help us identify some issues and understand more about ourselves. Emotion, on the other hand, refers to the expression of feelings and the processing of emotional experiences, which can help us move forward and understand how to overcome our own challenges. Emotions can be the key to making us go from stillness to motion and therefore take actions and move forwards toward our goal and our desired outcome. As a coach, I make sure to always help my clients to find the balance between stillness and emotion and the balance between stillness and motion, while keeping an eye on what lies in front of them, and pushing them to stay in motion, always moving closer to achieving their goal.