Therefore, the first stage comprises concrete steps leading to meditation; it cannot be otherwise if we are to embody beingness. But what do these steps look like? And can they relate to everyone or do they require individual modification? In the Western paradigm of self-seeking, the point of entry begins with a grounding question that also embodies the first degree of individuation which inescapably involves the reshaping of the ego: Who am I? What is all this about? What is the shortest distance to my heart, my soul? What kind of process does it involve? Will I ever get there? Has anyone every done it before? What will I gain? What will I lose? Can I do this? Do I want to do this? Am I ready? And so on. Interestingly enough, the inquiry approach is also used in coaching.
The incipient stage of questing is invariably individual: Although each person aspires in the same direction, each approaches it differently. That is right. However, it can be just as easy at this stage to succumb to the intricate if not divergent tendencies of the mind to lead us away from the process of inquiry via the incessant looping of thought and memory. This will not be helpful. Instead, we must arrest ourselves in the inquiry question and hold out until something meaningful surfaces— all the while fighting off the temptation to give in to other thoughts and ideas that will not serve us in this exploratory stage.
Clearly, the incipient stage demands a great deal of patience, focus and discipline as we give ourselves the permission and time to explore freely, flexibly and reflectively and as much as absolutely possible to our person. We may explore quietly in a reflective or contemplative state or we may engage in a more active exploration via the written or spoken word. It is often in the pushing where the benefits begin to surface and not in the continuous trying. That is precisely why it is so difficult. However, once we learn how to push and pull on our periphery, the expansion into wider and greater space does occur before it actually begins to show up in our life. Faith in the process plays a critical role in helping us persevere and continue moving forward, even if the forward feels uncertain, confusing or scary. We must push on and maintain our pace. If we give up too early, we not only lose all that we have gained thus far, however intangible at this point, but, more importantly, we will also have given ourselves the permission to give up the quest and remain ensconced in our status quo, however familiar or unsatisfying it may be. Unfortunately, most people choose this very option.
But how will we know we have arrived? How will we know that we have passed successfully through the first gate of our seeking? When the state of beingness begins to show up in our life more consistently, it also begins to feed our center which we then begin to experience more directly, albeit not continuously, for we still have ways to go. In other words, if we had begun our quest because something was missing in our life, or we were running low on energy, motivation and/or creativity, the return or replenishment of any one of these is a sure sign that we have successfully made it to the second stage of our questing after beingness. In the next stage, our enthusiasm and imagination spur on our drive not only to take better care of our innate needs (material, intellectual, emotional) but to know ourselves at our deeper level of being, from whence beingness springs. And when we have done this successfully enough, beingness also shows up in the other who mirrors back to us our progress via a comment, glance or a smile—all of which can be just as significant. It is up to us to be present enough to notice this valuable feedback which is so helpful to our individuation process and our spiritual unfoldment.
Whereas the first stage gave rise to self-initiative, self-control, and self-patience, all of which slowly begun augmenting the states of self-confidence, self-respect and ultimately self-acceptance, it is the second stage that heralds the self-potential which begins to generate real self-strength, self-knowledge and self-wisdom. It cannot be the other way around. Although many mistake the harnessing of potential at the incipient stages, it is merely the ego bluffing— concealing the true power within. Sadly, many remain here, but we must continue onward if we are to find our holy grail.
Although integrating our starting point, the second stage demands more awareness, more presence and at a much higher level than our induction demanded. At this stage, we apply both of our sensing/feeling and our critical skills to those moments where we have learned how to bring presence. We also began cultivating mindfulness by bringing our keener sense of awareness to all of our imagined and transpired activities. At least that is our aspiration. In the practical application of every day reality, we gift ourselves the necessary time to deeper reflect on those activities that have yielded in us confusion, unease and/or suffering. Understandably, the work being done in this stage will at times feel shaky if not inconclusive. That is apt, for it is a sign that the process is working. We must not succumb to the clever or seductive persuasion of the ego, least we do not mind starting over. To fortify our strength and persist in times of difficulty, we need to supplement our questing with the practice of meditation— both the process and the state of deeper knowing.
Naturally, we begin where we are: a few minutes to arrest the consciousness via the breath and then slowly progressing into longer segments of sitting until we begin to sense our grounding, our stillness. From therein, we invite our intuition to guide us. In this second stage, the going will get tough, particularly if our emotional faculty becomes deeply engaged. We will want to run away from looking at the truth of our darker side, our shadow. But look we must if we are to glean a glimmer or hope for ourselves in moving towards the light where the source of our power resides. It is through the process of looking that the gift of seeing emerges over time—and time being inconsequential if we are deeply committed to the process of self growth and transformation.
Before we move on to the third and final stage of our beingness model, it is essential for us to explore our darker side, our proverbial shadow that creates so much confusion and suffering in us if we are not paying attention and working through it. So what exactly is this “shadow” that we hear so much about? Simply put, it is all of our negative tendencies— our selfishness, greed and pride. And we all know the precise moments when these unsavory tendencies bubble up to the surface: the loss of patience with our children; the argument with our spouse. This negative charge, inherited by our human condition and echoed throughout the entirety of evolutionary creation, not only has the elemental value of showcasing the opposite positive charge—the light within—but it offers the very potential of our growth and unfoldment. And the deeper we go within, the brighter the light grows. It thus behooves us to keep a roving eye out for the shadow and when we do happen to meet it, work with and through it towards our state of beingness, our state of transformation. All of this will take time, perseverance and patience. Anything less will be a sand castle without a rock, without a fortress.
Our third and final stage of the beingness model naturally integrates the first two stages which have sufficiently prepared us to receive the much needed energy to help us move deeper within. If we have patiently and lovingly moved along the designated course, the Excalibur will now be conferred upon us; it will equip us with the added strength to wage battle with the source of our confusion and misery—our thoughts! Although seemingly easy, only a minuscule number of individuals have truly arrested this draconic energy of ceaselessly arising and culminating thought patterns at the source level. Who are we to attempt such feat?! We are them, and they have once been us: they too have gone through the necessary stages of preparation, development and unfoldment. They may have followed a similar course or another but one indisputably leading to the same source: It makes no difference, for the arrival will always be the same if the work was done in earnest and with unwavering dedication.