Coaching Application:
Sometimes it’s difficult for our clients to come up with well-defined goals. When you begin working with your client and you find that they are being too vague or are having trouble creating their vision, this could mean a number of different things. Do they feel worthy of that goal? Or are they lacking the confidence that they can achieve that goal? Maybe it’s not even their goal, but someone close to them and it doesn’t really align with their values. As coaches we need to help them identify the underlying beliefs that are holding them back so they can set better and more specific goals that are true to them and their values.
Helping Clients Create Specific Goals
One way a coach can help a client move from vague goals to more specific ones is to help the client become more aware of what they would like to achieve. Can the client visualize what they would like their life will look in a year, can they describe it in detail – what do they smell, hear, feel, is there someone with them? Are they inside or outside?
The more descriptive they are the more these goals will align with their values. It’s difficult to describe something in detail that doesn’t have meaning to them. Ask them to only speak in the positive so their minds stay open to the possibilities, instead of saying “I’m not fat” they could say “I look fantastic in my size 8 jeans!”. When stated in the positive and present tense this future self is capable of anything!
Stating in the positive is very important because if we focus on what we don’t want to do we usually end up doing it.
Whatever you put your attention on, you get more of. As soon as you are aware of what you don’t want, immediately put your attention on what you do want and feel the feelings and the true value of having it now.
(Atkinson, Chois, 2007, pp. 112-113).
Our brains are trained to go towards what we focus on so if we are always telling ourselves “not to eat” our brains thinks “eat” and that is what we will do.
Keeping with the positive the client will feel,
their life’s value becomes self-expressive and they will feel a deep sense of their heart’s own awareness.
(Atkinson, Chois, 2007, p. 146).
With this positive future self in mind the coach can begin the process of goal setting backwards. For instance, if the client’s vision included them looking great in a size 8 jeans, enjoying a coffee in a cafe in Italy, meeting the person of their dreams, their goals or outcomes for that year are; feeling healthy and fantastic in those size 8 jeans, exploring a country they have always dreamed of going to, and having the confidence to approach and communicate with a complete stranger. Check with your client, can they bring the feeling of having completed their goals into the present so they can begin living with that feeling now? Are their goals more motivating to them, can they really see themselves interacting with their goals or do you need to go back to the visualization?
Now break the year down into 3 months periods, at month 9 where does your client want to be? Set their specific goals for that period. Next do month 6, and then month 3, are the goals attainable in those time periods? Are they excited and motivated about moving forward? Are they ready to take the first step?
Planning and setting their goals backwards may seem a bit odd to them but it helps the client look at their goal setting from a different perspective. The milestones they set for themselves may be very different then the ones they would have set projecting forward in their goal setting. It’s even more difficult to be vague when they are setting their goals backwards, they have to use their imagination and visualize what it will be like at each milestone. Placing themselves there and visualizing it will better their chances of achieving their goals.
Coaching Reflection:
- As a coach, what tools do you use to set specific goals for you?
- How can we support our clients to move away from vague goals towards more specific goals?
- What other ways can we help our clients define more specific goals?
References:
Beck, Martha. (2012. January). How to Figure Out What You Want in Life. Oprah Magazine. http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Figure-Out-What-You-Want-in-Life#ixzz1zUvpV3Aq
Atkinson, Marilyn, Chois, Rae. (2007). Inner Dynamics of Coaching. Canada: Exalon Publishing.