Working through denial to a place of acceptance can be very difficult, maybe scary, even terrifying as it means letting go. The control that we perceive to exert over something we are in denial about has to be released and the courage that it may take to be fully open to the truth of something can often cause the feeling of wanting to run screaming and shouting in the opposite direction rather than face it.
But if we can manage to find the courage to at least be willing to look at the truth greater awareness will come. At this point the awareness may come by a curiosity to explore the situation, looking at all of the facts laid bare, looking into each excuse, reason and justification the truth of what is being judged or denied is apparent and here there are two choices:
- Move on with exploration, eyes wide open, trusting in our own strength, the guidance from within ourselves, our own wisdom and the ultimate belief that the truth will bring freedom
- Retreat back into denial, angry, hurt, justifying, excusing and blaming
What do you choose?
Acceptance = Awareness + Understanding + Truth
Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune. William James
Acceptance in no way means that we give up on wanting a better life, are not angry and hurt by another person’s actions, have forgotten the loved one that we are grieving deeply, become lazy and non-productive by accepting something as it is and doing nothing about it if we can. Acceptance is not about condoning horrendous or cruel acts committed by another. Acceptance does not mean rolling over and becoming a door mat no! Acceptance is the pathway to freedom. The Serenity Prayer God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Here is what it boils down to, some may like this, some may accept it, some may think it harsh and lacking understanding and react with anger but the fact is acceptance is seeing the truth and reality for exactly what it is without resistance, in seeing and realising the exact truth you can then look at the reality, consider whether you are happy with the reality or not, if you are great, if you are not happy with it and it is in your power to do so take charge and change it.
If it is not in your power to change it ask yourself these questions:
Reflections
Some people confuse acceptance with apathy, but there’s all the difference in the world. Apathy fails to distinguish between what can and what cannot be helped; acceptance makes that distinction. Apathy paralyzes the will-to-action; acceptance frees it by relieving it of impossible burdens.
– Arthur Gordon
References:
Eckhart Tolle (2001). The Power Of Now. UK: Hodder Paperbacks.
Eckhart Tolle (2003). Stillness Speaks. UK: Hodder & Stoughton. 129.
Deepak Chopra (1996). The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. London, UK: Transworld Publishers. 117
Caroline Myss, P.H.D (1998). Why People Don’t Heal And How They Can. UK: Transworld Publishers
AA Services (2002). The Big Book. 4th ed. USA: Hazelden Information & Educational Services. 575.