A Coaching Power Tool By Shawn Harvey, Life Coach, CANADA
In the last year, I have seen many people make significant shifts in their lives through this pandemic. Many hindrances exist that prevent “business as usual.” These obstacles have caused systems to collapse (More than 200K small businesses could close permanently amid pandemic: CFIB[1]), hibernate, or change tack (The Pandemic Pivot[2]).
The people and businesses that can find opportunities amid obstacles create growth for themselves and their communities.
This idea of transforming obstacles into opportunities is a significant part of my personal growth last year. When everything closed down last March, I lost my job on April 30th, and I was determined to reinvent myself during the lockdown. Thankfully what looked like an obstacle became my most incredible opportunity. My previous employer topped up our Employment Insurance, so I was able to keep 80% of my salary for the last year. The government extended unemployment insurance until October 2021. This meant I joined ICA on unemployment, a full-time dad, with my wife also in school, and we could pay the bills. The obstacle of lockdown created the opportunity to get my coaching certification without the extra pressure of providing for the family.
Everyone around us binge-watched Netflix, whereas my wife and I have upgraded our learning and are more prepared for the next season of life. It is the reframing of obstacles into opportunities that enables people to feel more in control of their lives and cope with the issues at hand.
The Difference Between Obstacle vs. Opportunity
ob·sta·cle| ˈäbstək(ə)l | noun| a thing that blocks one’s way or prevents or hinders progress[3]
op·por·tu·ni·ty| ˌäpərˈt(y)o͞onədē | noun | a set of circumstances that makes it possible to do something[4]
Keys to Determine if You See a Situation as an Obstacle vs. Opportunity
Fixed Mindset vs. Growth Mindset
In her book Mindset, Carol Dweck shows “the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. It can determine whether you become the person you want to be and whether you accomplish the things you value.”[5]Her research shows how our minds can be fixed and unable to see solutions for obstacles, or our minds can be in a growth mindset and capable of looking for opportunities.
To have a fixed mindset is to believe that your qualities, abilities, and intelligence are carved in stone, with only no chance to expand from where it is. This belief stops the mind from looking for solutions because things are what they are, and there is no changing that.
On the other hand, the growth mindset looks at situations and sees them as a starting point, and believes that they can change.
There’s another mindset in which these traits are not simply a hand you’re dealt and have to live with, always trying to convince yourself and others that you have a royal flush when you’re secretly worried it’s a pair of tens. In this mindset, the hand you’re dealt is just the starting point for development. This growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts, your strategies, and help from others. Although people may differ in every which way—in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments—everyone can change and grow through application and experience.[6]
When we choose to believe that the core of who we are has plasticity, we can grow, develop, and expand how we view ourselves, and the world around us. Whereas rigid belief that we are “always going to be this way” or “I am always going struggle” close us down from seeing the way past obstacles.
Complaining vs. Brainstorming
Most of the time, when people talk about an issue, it would be categorized as complaining. They are not looking for a solution; instead, they just want to vent about the subject. Canadians, in particular, have made this a cultural habit. If policies change or rules become frustrating, as a society, we do nothing to activate change. We lament, get frustrated, talk to our friends about how bad it is, but put no energy towards fixing the obstacle. Complaining is a release valve but does nothing to change the situation. It is helplessness masquerading as anger. In Fierce Conversations, author Susan Scott gives a question to help break this cycle: “What are you pretending not to know?” and “What is my contribution to this issue? (How have I contributed to the problem?).”[7]
By answering these questions, we can take ourselves from complaining into brainstorming. Because before brainstorming, we need to realize we can change the outcome. Knowing why something has happened or how it came to be doesn’t always prepare us to resolve the issue. Knowing that the pandemic and choosing to change career paths left us without a job didn’t help create a new way forward. It wasn’t until we realized that we played a part in wanting to step down from our previous position and we didn’t feel comfortable trying to find work at the height of the pandemic that did we see training as an option. We had first to describe our “ideal outcome.”[8]
The Nehemiah Principle
The book of Nehemiah tells the story of the rebuilding of Jerusalem. The Babylonians had sacked Jerusalem and enslaved the Israelites. Nehemiah, the cupbearer to King Artaxerxes of Persia, is given leave of his position to go and rebuild the city. The king sends Nehemiah with a letter authorizing the use of the king’s materials to ensure success. Nehemiah faces many obstacles on his path to restoring the city. First, he lacks masons[9]and suitable material[10]to rebuild the walls. After surveying what he did have, Nehemiah built the walls double-wide instead of high, using the burnt stones (more likely to crumble and not hold their shape) as the fill between the walls. This solution also didn’t require as many skilled laborers. Nehemiah had surveyed the scope of the work, he didn’t listen to complaining leaders, and he ignored those who tried to prevent him from starting. The second obstacle was fear of attack on the workers’ families. This allowed Nehemiah to bring the families inside the city, bringing peace of mind to the workers and helping them stay focussed on the job at hand.
How You Can Turn Obstacles Into Opportunities
When “M” wanted to do host youth events, COVID regulations prevented him from running regular events. Instead of seeing this as an obstacle, we worked on changing it to an opportunity. With some research into what the new regulations allowed, M could restructure their events to accommodate the kids. Instead of being seated in rows that allowed half the children under the new rules, M set up tables and sectioned off the room. This allowed more kids to come and still follow all mandates. The upside to this unique style is that the youth are more engaged, more friends are coming, and the leaders have deep and meaningful conversations. “We may not go back to the old way, even when we are allowed, because this new method is having a greater impact on the kids and creating deeper relationships.”The obstacle of COVID regulations created a more significant opportunity for connection with youth. The original way was ineffective at what mattered most, staff-youth relations, and if it wasn’t for this opportunity, they might not have found a better way to make that happen.
“C” found that her unstructured thought patterns were an obstacle to her feeling like she could accomplish anything. Unable to focus on one thing for very long, she berated herself and felt stuck in a rut with no ability to contribute to the world around her. As we took the obstacle of “unstructured thought,” we found an opportunity to become more creative in how she saw problems. Instead of lists, C relied on scrapbooks and boxes of notes. As she took time to sort through and develop her organizing method, poetry and creative writing started to happen, allowing her to express herself better. The mindset of “the world expects me to”was removed, and C could just be her playful, creative self.
Before the pandemic, “B” had built a team to open a new church location. He was trying to start a new church and be full-time in his ministry, a family development website and podcast giving resources to help people and churches build strong and healthy families. Once the pandemic started, it became clear they would not be able to launch the new church. His sending church, wishing to keep him on staff, gave him jobs within his abilities but not within his passions. As the pandemic continued, different opportunities presented themselves, and each one helped clarify what B wished to be pursuing. B renegotiated a part-time position at the church to create more intentional time for his ministry. As each new step takes place, B continues to re-evaluate and determine how to use it as an opportunity.
Transforming Obstacle Into Opportunity in Coaching
Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV) says, “Train up a child in the way they should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”[11]It doesn’t say, “Make a child walk in the way they should go.” or “Tell a child the way they should walk.”Training means giving the problem-solving skills to figure out how to get through a situation. The goal is not to resolve the one issue but to provide the client with language to resolve many cases.
A Kurdish proverb states, “If skill could be gained by watching, every dog would become a butcher.”[12]If someone is unable to use that skill, it will never be developed. The goal of looking at obstacles and finding opportunities is never for the coach to say”but think of the opportunities!” instead, it is about asking the questions and creating space so the client can reframe their situation.
To help clients have the language to describe their obstacles, the journey model uses this analogy: “Life is like a road trip. It is awesome until it is not. Here are five types of obstacles that can get in your way: Fog, crossroads, ditches, ruts, and autopilot.” When I have shared that picture, clients immediately pick one or two words to describe where they are. I initially tried to define each of those words to specific areas of life, but I found that clients created the word pictures that helped them develop opportunities out of these obstacles.
References
Small businesses closure Canada covid 19
Business pandemic pivot look back
New Oxford American Dictionary
Holy Bible, New King James Version, Thomas Nelson Inc
Carol Dweck. Mindset. Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
Stephen Mansfield. The Miracle of the Kurds: A Remarkable Story of Hope Reborn In Northern Iraq (p. 234). Worthy Publishing. Kindle Edition.
Susan Scott Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time. Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
[1]Small businesses closure Canada covid 19
[2]Business pandemic pivot look back
[3] New Oxford American Dictionary
[4]Ibid.
[5] Dweck, Carol S. Mindset (p. 6). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
[6]Ibid.
[7]Scott, Susan. Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time (p. 107). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
[8] Ibid.
[9] Nehemiah 3 Lists those who rebuilt the walls and none are stonemasons.
[10] Nehemiah 4:2,10
[11] Holy Bible, New King James Version, Thomas Nelson Inc.,1982
[12]Stephen Mansfield. The Miracle of the Kurds: A Remarkable Story of Hope Reborn In Northern Iraq (p. 234). Worthy Publishing. Kindle Edition.