A Coaching Power Tool By Richard Lefort, Life Path Coach, CANADA
The Obliviousness vs. Awareness Power Tool
In my experience lack of awareness shows up every day, sometimes small sometimes large, for myself and the people I observe around me in so many ways.
It can be something physical perhaps, such as I have a soreness in my back that has been slowly building for months or years. Due to the gradual increase in discomfort, I remain oblivious to it. One day that pain grows too large to the point it’s either too late or much more difficult to fix. If I’m aware of my body and how it is feeling on a daily basis, it becomes easier to maintain and remain healthy.
Likewise, it can be mental. Let’s say I’ve been working in the government as an event planner for 10-20 years. When I started this job I loved it, and as time went on that interest faded but I still liked it enough to stay. I got married, raised children, along accepted my job for what it was not giving it much thought at all. I show up, do my work, and go home to continue the routine. Life is an intricate experience and I allocated my focus elsewhere. Along that path, like my unattended back pain getting gradually worse, my relationship with my career has become toxic to me. I don’t feel fulfilled, I dread going to work, and I feel like I HAVE to keep doing it because it’s all I know. All of these thoughts and questions arise. If I were aware of my feelings and my relationship with my job and how it fits in my life, I would be in a position of empowerment and choice of what to do about it.
These two examples are simply of self-awareness, let us not forget your awareness of the external world around you. Imagine you are walking through the world every day, headphones in, head down, same path every day, same office, very little interaction with the world around you as you move through it. Now imagine a similar scenario, except this time you take the headphones out for a day. You can hear the birds, the cars, the wind, and the people walking by, you might even say hello have a nice day, or exchange a smile with a stranger. You notice a bookstore on the way to work that you’ve never seen before which allows you to read a novel that leads you to find a new passion or hobby. This all might sound a bit “cheesy” or unrealistic but I promise that over time, when you traverse the world with attention and intention, there is a balance in the world that will return to you the energy that you give to it.
Obliviousness vs. Awareness Definition
What is Obliviousness?
Obliviousness is defined by Oxford Languages as: “not aware of or not concerned about what is happening around one.” I believe this is an ongoing challenge in every single human being’s life. Large or small, there are often areas of our lives where we get “comfortable” and start going through the motions. We forget to maintain an awareness of who we are, what we are doing, and what we want. It is easy to fall into a life where you are kind of just showing up, not necessarily feeling good or bad, and likely not fulfilled.
What is Awareness?
Awareness is defined by Oxford Languages as: “knowledge or perception of a situation or fact.” Awareness, in my experience, is such a vital and powerful tool. Awareness allows a relief of pressure, it becomes more clear who you are, where you stand, and what you desire. From that space, you now have control and the choice to do as you please, this is such a powerful and comforting feeling. At the same time, this can move you to a position of feeling overwhelmed about what to do next, don’t worry there are tools to approach this as well.
Tools to Evoke Awareness
As a coach, awareness can be evoked through meaningful questions with an emphasis on “what?” questions vs “why?” questions. For example; If someone is asking “Why am I tired all the time?” perhaps ask “What are the moments where I feel low energy and what are the situations where I feel energized?”
Questions like:
Regarding self-awareness
- What do I enjoy doing most?
- What am I passionate about?
- What things make me happy?
- When do I feel most confident?
- If money was not an obstacle, what would I do with my time?
- What am I good at?
- What am I less good at?
- What truly matters to me on a deeper level?
- What type of person do I want to be?
Regarding external awareness
- What do they think about this idea?
- How do they enjoy getting work done?
- What makes them happy?
- In what environment do they strive?
Even down to the simpler things in life such as; when is sunset? What time does the train pass? What route has a more enjoyable walk in which season? All these seemingly mundane things play a massive role in you training your awareness muscle and traversing through life in a meaningful/intentional way.
In asking these types of questions, varying depending on the situation, of course, a pattern starts to form. The client goes from a state of unawareness or very little awareness to a state of questioning and discovery, ending in a state of awareness. With this newfound awareness, there is usually a sense of relief and excitement, and now the big question comes; “What now?” Tools such as; journaling, tracking gratitude, writing down your intentions, vision boards, meditation, and similar tools will allow you to maintain sight of this newfound awareness and keep it top of mind. From this space, you will be able to see what are the next steps and break them down into manageable personal goals.
Let’s take a look at what the outcomes look like for being in a state of obliviousness vs. a state of awareness.
Obliviousness
In this state it’s almost as if we have blinders on, we are unaware of our possibilities and the possibilities of the world around us. This is dangerous because when we gradually, day by day, get to a state where everything kind of works and everything is fine, and at the same time life lacks passion, interest, fun, joy, etc. The longer we are in this state of obliviousness the more everything feels like it’s going relatively well and the harder it is to step back and see what’s truly going on. Some manifestations of living an oblivious life are; Depression, anxiety, feeling stuck, lack of fulfillment, and unhappiness, would are bigger manifestations that come to mind. Constant fatigue, numbness, and lack of interest in the rest of your life would be gradual less noticeable manifestations.
Awareness
In a 2018 TED talk, Tasha Eurich defines self-awareness as; “the ability to see ourselves clearly, to understand who we are, how others see us, and how we fit into the world.”In this state, we feel refreshed, light, at ease, and understood. We have a clear mind and though the path to our goals may not be clear, we know what they are and are excited to push toward them. Self-awareness can manifest in many ways as well; confidence, happiness, fulfillment, understanding, purpose, choice, clarity, control, and productivity. Now awareness can come with its negative outcomes as well. In a scientific paper on measuring the effects of self-awareness in Europe’s Journal of Psychology, it was shown that self-awareness can also lead to stress given this hyper-awareness of one’s self. If we know it can be overwhelming to see ourselves and what it is we desire truly, we can prepare ourselves ahead of time with the right tools to successfully navigate this newfound awareness. This same paper noted the benefits of awareness in things like social life, and one’s productivity at work.
In a study done by Tasha Eurich, she notes that out of hundreds of people surveyed 95% of them considered themselves to be self-aware, upon further testing, about 10-15% were truly self-aware. Making the transition from obliviousness to awareness is a life-changing experience that anyone and everyone can benefit from. It is a dynamic and fluid state of being, you can have a great sense of awareness in your social life, but a poor sense of awareness in your work life. There are many variations of this and all of them lead to practicing awareness on a daily basis, training your awareness like a muscle.
References
[1] Increase your self-awareness with one simple fix | Tasha Eurich | TEDxMileHigh,
[2] Anna Sutton, Measuring the effects of self-awareness: Construction of the self-awareness outcomes questionnaire, Europe’s Journal of Psychology, 2016 Nov; 12(4), pp. 645-658
[3] Definitions from Oxford Languages: Obliviousness
[4] Definitions from Oxford Languages: Awareness