While there may be pain in the present, it by no means outweighs the opportunity of the future. The focus becomes so intense that the pain is forgotten, left to the wayside, and passed by. Just as John Assaraf was focused on the future opportunity that he did not think about his present circumstances and sacrifice, so we need to be able to change perspectives and see the future as opposed to dwelling on the present. When we approach goals and objectives with the question, “What will be lost if this goal or objective is not achieved?”, there is a shift in perspective. A person can come to realize that yes, sacrifice is required in the short-term, and it may be difficult, but the long-term gain is invaluable. In a sense, it is often like trading one hundred dollars now in order to receive a million dollars in the future. The loss of one hundred dollars now may hurt a bit, but the gain of one million dollars will quickly overshadow that loss.
Exercise
- Take a few deep breaths and relax. Close your eyes, and think of something you want to achieve six months, or maybe even a year from now.
- Fully envelope yourself around that goal or objective. See, feel, taste, and smell it.
- Ask yourself, “What sacrifices will I have to make in order to achieve this goal or objective?” “What will I have to give up?”
- Now ask yourself, “What will I be sacrificing if I do not achieve this goal or objective?”
- Finally, ask yourself, “What sacrifice is greater, the pain of short-term discipline and loss? Or not achieving a dream or goal?”
Coaching Application
Our job as coaches is to help the client see things form many different angles, to shift perspective, and help them find motivation, options, and solutions. The use of this power tool simply lies in being able to ask powerful questions to help change the client’s perspective from focusing on the present pain to seeing the future opportunity. The following is an example of how I have applied this tool with a one of my clients. Some time ago I was talking with a woman about one of the goals that she was trying to accomplish. This woman wanted to achieve a certain body composition goal, but did not seem very motivated to do the work required in order to attain the goal. The coaching side of me thought it would be a good opportunity to explore the topic a bit more and see if I could ignite some motivation in her.
I began by asking her what exactly they wanted to achieve, and asked her to imagine what it would feel like if she had already attained it. She listed a number of things, including a sense of confidence and feeling of well-being. I then asked her what she would have to give up in order to achieve what she wanted. In other words, what sacrifices would she have to make to get from point A to point B. She listed a few things, such as giving up desserts and not being able to enjoy social encounters as much due to the modified eating habits required. After I asked her what sacrifices she would have to make in order to achieve her desired goal, I asked her, “What would you be sacrificing if you didn’t achieve this goal?” What would you be sacrificing if you changed nothing and continued living life as usual?” She began to list many of the different things that she already had earlier when I asked her to imagine what it would be like if she had already attained the goal. However, most importantly, the question refocused her and helped her realize that no matter what changed, or in this case, did not change, sacrifice would be inevitable.
Ultimately, she came to the conclusion that the future opportunity was by far, more important than the present pain. Giving up some sweets and desserts, and exercising more intentionally was a small price to pay for the future benefits that the price would reap. If we live like no one else today, we will have more opportunity to live like no one else in the future.
Reflection
- How can you apply this tool in your life?
- In what areas are you focused on the present pain instead of the future opportunity?
- How can you apply this tool to your coaching practice?
References
Canfield, Jack. (2005). The Success Principles: How To Get From Where You Are To Where You Want To Be. New York: Harper Collins.