A Coaching Power Tool By Mai Dyab, Coaching Stay at Home Mothers, Life Coach, JORDAN
Lost vs. Found Explanation
Lost:
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, there are nine definitions of the word lost:
- Not made use of.
- No longer known.
- Ruined or destroyed physically or morally.
- Unable to find a way.
- Not appreciated or understood.
Have you ever felt lost? Who hasn’t!
We all go through life wanting to reach our goals, as we grow and take on bigger responsibilities, life gets in the way, and so many times we find ourselves feeling confused, we may lose direction, and insight. In other words, we don’t remember who we are anymore.
When we find ourselves so busy with our daily responsibilities each day starts to look like the next one, we lose our individuality, our taste, and our edge! For example, we may end up longing for our younger self, that fresh graduate, worker, thinker, etc. who had all those goals and dreams, and who was full of life, unique, and fearless.
Other times we find ourselves living a life that was prescribed for us, doing what seemed right or simply what was expected from us, did you become a doctor, a lawyer, an actor, etc. because your father was one? Or is it a true passion of yours?
Furthermore, our lives are shaped by our past experiences, our upbringing, our families and societies, and our inner critic. By examining these layers of influence, carefully identifying what serves us, what is meaningful to us, and what our purpose may be, we become closer to finding our true selves.
Without a sense of purpose, without meaning, we cannot move forward, we stop growing.
Viktor E. Frankl the author of the best-seller Man’s Search for Meaning said, “Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose”
Lost vs. Found: Find yourself!
Find
Discover the fundamental truths about one’s character and identity. Oxford English dictionary
- Do you know yourself?
- You probably know what you like and dislike, but do you know what inspires you?
- Do you know what motivates you? What puts you down?
- Do you know what your beliefs are? Your values? Your dreams?
- Do you notice the way you talk to yourself?
To most of us, we go on through our lives never really thinking about these intrinsic characteristics, and if we do, we might not fully uncover them, and truly discover ourselves.
In the busy accelerated lifestyle many of us lead, we forget to address our hopes, values, dreams, aspirations, and goals. We have put ourselves on autopilot!
Nevertheless, some of us have surely had a clear view of our inner selves, but with the many responsibilities, problems, difficulties, and struggles that we all face in our modern life, even those individuals may little by little lose track of who they are.
Today I invite you to find yourself again, to go through a journey that will take you deep inside your soul searching for answers to questions you may have never asked yourself before.
In this journey, you will unveil your fears, doubts, obstacles, and underlying beliefs …. You will redefine your priorities to fit your new vision.
By identifying and exploring your goals, you feel that you have once again found yourself, and it becomes exciting to accomplish these goals and dreams. To truly find yourself you should be willing to go through a self-discovery journey that may be bumpy and uncomfortable sometimes.
Lost vs. Found: Safe and Judgment-Free Environment
As a life coach, and in a safe and judgment-free environment, I will entice my clients to find themselves by uncovering the whole truth about themselves.
Clients whose presenting complaint is “feeling lost” usually have difficulty focusing on a topic during their sessions. I will help them figure out what the main cause of the trouble is for them by singling out a goal that they would like to accomplish and revealing any obstacles that may exist to reaching that goal.
Once we have a goal to achieve and a roadblock to remove, I can start helping them by asking questions that raise awareness of the client’s values, fears, and priorities. This type of questioning should help my client know themselves better and move forward.
Examples:
- What values of yours are fulfilled by accomplishing this goal?
- What is your priority here?
- What is stopping you from moving forward?
- What inspires you?
- What is in your control?
- Now that you have gained more awareness of your priorities and convictions and more insight into your inner self, what actions are you willing to take to achieve your goals?
- What commitments are you ready to make? What helps you keep that awareness and acquire even more?
References
Top of Form
Gilbert, E. Big Magic: Creative living beyond fear.
Life Coaches: How to Avoid Getting Lost in a Coaching Session the online blog from the website: Life Coaching Notes: Resources for Progressive Life Coaches
A Guide to Finding Yourself, online article from the website: PsychAlive: psychology for everyday life, by the Glendon Association