A Coaching Power Tool By Soraya Ho Sing Loy, Life Coach, TRINIDAD AND TOBAGO
Not til we are lost, in other words not till we have lost the world, do we begin to find ourselves, and realize where we are and the infinite extent of our relations – Henry David Thoreau
Have you experienced that feeling of being lost? Some may argue that we are not born with a compass, and it is natural to feel lost and even bewildered about our situation. Being lost causes panic and worry. It may even lead a person to think they are living a meaningless life. One of the most damaging results of being lost is not being able to identify yourself, causing a lack of confidence and self-worth.
Live
I feel passionately about my life and this passion fills me with excitement and energy. Wayne Dyer
This quote sums up the will to live. Living the most purposeful life is what most people strive for. The will to live is associated with Gratitude and Self.
LIVE, defined as a verb, is having an exciting or fulfilling life; living life to the fullest.
When I think about my sense of living, I often write affirmations such as “I am enough“; “I am grateful for my life“; and as a Buddhist, I meditate and give thanks for my breath. We really should be only focusing on how to live with ourselves and others.
Lost
Feeling lost? Good! Now you get to walk new paths that lead to much better places – Robin Sharma
Being lost implies that we have failed, or are incapable of victory. In essence, being lost could lead us to a place of being stuck and frustrated with life. It feels like you are alone with this pain and you suffer silently. I know I have been there.
According to the Oxford dictionary, LOST may be defined as “unable to find one’s way, not knowing one’s whereabouts (as in Help! We are lost!“)”; denoting something that has been taken away or cannot be recovered (as in “if only one could recapture one’s lost youth“), or being something that someone has failed to win (as in “a lost prize“).
Reflection On Live
Every individual has a different view of what it means to LIVE; live a fulfilling life.
Write down things that make you want to live a better life:
- Let Go of Situations that no longer serve you/client
- Leverage Vision Boards
- Review Manifestations
- Leverage Affirmations
- Focus on Client’s Unique Talents and Abilities
These are just some actions we could implement to envision and create a better life.
Remember we are unique. We are sometimes conditioned to believe we are not meant to have a Victorious life through our underlying beliefs. We must decide and take action to live (and live fully), as opposed to being lost.
Attributes that will enhance the will to LIVE fully:
- Self Worth
- Gratitude
- Purpose
- Motivation
- Joy
Reflection on Lost
Most people feel lost when something tragic happens. Suffering is real. Breakdowns happen.LOST negatively impacts our will to live fully. This breakdown, however, could lead to a breakthrough. For instance, we cannot just get over feeling lost. We need to make inner changes and trust our intuitions. Trusting intuitions is when we depend on our inner strength to combat that feeling of victim mode and change it to Victor mode. Being lost often occurs when we are in the process of finding our true purpose and recognizing our self-worth. This is when we reveal our “authentic self.”
Some Questions to Ask Me
- Are you worthy?
- Is your dream worthy of you?
- What is preventing you from living your dream life?
- What steps do you need to take to free yourself from your underlying beliefs about Living?
- What do you need to focus on to live a purposeful life?
- What kind of environment do you live in? A hostile or friendly one?
- Do you believe that life is happening through you instead of to you?
- What do you need to have designed life?
Understanding Live vs. Lost in Coaching Journey
In a recent coaching session, my client had practically given up on wanting more for herself. Suffering from a divorce, limited finances, and low self-worth, she felt lost and empty. When asked what the challenge she faced was, she quietly answered “I am unhappy and need to live a better life, but am lost and afraid”.
One of the best coaching questions I have used is “What do you need right now?” As a coach, while listening to my client describe her needs, it is important to listen without judgment and perhaps have the client list things they can do (in the present moment) using their unique talents and abilities. Shifting their perspective from one of being lost to acknowledging the clients’ strengths empowers the client. This also helps in boosting client confidence. I have to help the client remove doubt and explore underlying beliefs about their current situation. I ask my clients to envision their life in 3/5 years and ask them to describe their new amazing life in the present tense.
I also ask about the people who can support them on this journey. I ask about the resources they have access to at this present moment and how could they be used to help change their situation. I take a few minutes to repeat the actions they described, and often ask them to close their eyes while they vision the new version of themselves. I encourage my clients to have a Gratitude Journal and keep track of their daily gratitudes and wins each day.
- What happens to you when you feel lost?
- What do you need to change to feel the will to Livefully?
- What role does self-worth play in Feeling lost?
- What structures can you put in place to help the client continue to be motivated and want to live?
References
ICF Coaching Power Tools
Coaching Power Tool more specifically by various students of the ICA
Articles: Tiny Buddha, Simple Wisdom for Complex Lives
Quotes by Henry David Thoreau, Wayne Dyer, and Robin Sharma
Definitions: Oxford dictionary