Self-awareness
No doubt when you are fully aware of yourself, you know what you have and what drives you to the decision you make. The insecure state also shows that your self-awareness is not strong enough.
Filter your experiences
Think about some big experiences in your life, which makes you feel safe and pleasant, which hurts you, which you know that you could not do things differently in the past, which you feel like you will never dare to do again. For the unpleasant memories, put them in the “insecure group”. For the positive experiences, put them in the “confident group”. Since you have names for them, when the problem occurs, you can identify which experience you are applying.
Find a support team
Usually, more people can bring more perspectives and new ideas than one person. Find some people who were also involved in the bad experience with you and ask them what they think about your failure in the past and if it is great for you to try once more time. Since they saw the event themselves, they have observed how different and better you have become. They can also give some powerful advice that you can apply into your new challenge. Besides, that team can play the role of support team for your new commitment.
Reflection:
- How do you define insecurity?
- Have you ever in the insecure state? Which experience led you the negative reaction? Do you think you can do something differently?
- Make a list of your strengths. Can any of them be used to change the experience and encourage you to move forward?
Coaching Application
Discover the truth behind
When a client shares with you a problem, listen attentively to see if what your client is thinking based on every angle of the problem or some experience in the past. Give some feedback to your client and make some powerful questions to shift their perspectives (if there is any). The more you try to discover the truth behind your client’s reaction, the more you make it clearer and more helpful to him/her.
Gain self-awareness
When your client is insecure, it is simply because he does not have full awareness of himself. Make powerful questions for him to discover his realm of possibilities. Use some effective tools including Acknowledgement, Lightness, and Creating Trust to help him gain his self-awareness.
Reflection
- What would you do if your client insist denying the fact that they are in insecure state?
- What are some other tools that you can apply into gaining awareness for the client?