Coach can do that by noticing, brainstorming emotions, thoughts and behaviors that might be categorized as irrational. The best way to recognize whether the thoughts or the actions are irrational, is to check what emotional state do the particular thoughts or actions bring. By highlighting client’s subjective emotional state, coach and client will further understand whether this emotional state needs to be altered or whether enhanced.
Once the client is Aware of his unique set of “perfectionist traits”, coach then can partner with the client to Envision and design the future action steps to be followed. Coach can assist client in identifying client’s best available resources, learning style and support and accountability system that would suite client’s unique individual needs. Coach can focus on helping the client to select those resources that would motivate the client to move forward with some first simple action steps that could be taken immediately.
During the process of Implementation, chosen resources could be reevaluated on the continuous bases and adjusted to the immediate circumstances the client find him or herself in. Thus, it is important that the coach always “keeps an eye” evaluating motivational level of the client’s performance, gradually stretching his comfort level without being “too pushy” or “too relaxed” on the outcome. Coach can do that by conforming with the client their satisfaction level with the past achievements and adjusting the strategy based on what the client’s uncovered needs are.
In the final stage, coach strengthen the condition state by Continuously Enhancing targeted empowering emotional, cognitive and behavioral states, until the client no longer requires assistance of a coach to trigger those desired patterns of behavior.
Self-Awareness:
By focusing within, observing emotions and thoughts that arise from some distractive behaviors, the person is able to first, recognize what needs to be different: what irrational beliefs contribute to perfectionism and how do they make person feel.
Self-Mastery:
Once recognized, the second step would be to find those unique roots the person is willing to take in order to change the emotional and distractive cognitive state. Once the new “comfort state” is identified and the new pathways are developed, the client can make the transformation happened himself – Self-Mastery. That means that any time the alarming signal comes, detecting either negative feeling or disempowering thoughts, the client is in control and is able to acknowledge the state he is in him or herself. Once he recognizes the this state is distractive, he or she then is ready to change. Once the client had made a decision to change, he or she chooses the best strategy available to him or her and act upon it.
Self-Transcendence:
The coaching process continues until the client shows clear sign of developing new cognitive and behavioral model he or she can easily access without additional support form the coach – Self-Transcendence.
Coaching process could be renewed for a shorter period of time to strengthen the desired state of Self- Awareness, Self-Mastery or Self-Transcendence.
Reflection:
- What techniques would you use as a coach to identify client’s irrational beliefs that contribute to disempowering perfectionistic state?
- What systems, structures, strategies, images and processes would you use as a coach when designing transformation to the client’s desired state?
- How would you motivate the client to commit to continuous learning and development process on their own?
References:
Perfectionism. Counseling Centre. http://www.counselingcenter.illinois.edu/? page_id=113
Edwin C. Thomas. Appreciative Inquiry: A Positive Approach to Change.
Overcoming Perfectionism. LIVESTRONG. overcoming-perfectionism/
Diener, E. & Biswas-Diener, R. 2008. Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth. Blackwell Publishing, USA Osho.
Osho on holistic approach to life – Totality is possible, perfection is not possible. http://www.oshoteachings.com/osho-on-holistic-approach-to-life-totality-is-possibleperfection- is-not-possible/