Self – Application
This example pertains many of us who struggle with setting boundaries and disciplining our children. We keep trying and giving up. On Oprah show, a mother recounted her frustration with getting her son to go to bed. He wanted to sleep in her bed and refused to lie down in his own. The more the mother insisted, the more the child resisted. There was yelling, screaming, until both were exhausted. The expert, Dr. Stanley Turecki, said something very simple, yet very profound to the mother: “Nothing happens until you decide.” The reason her three years old didn’t sleep in his own bed was that the mother had not decided it would happen. When she did, the child would go to his bed. This brilliant piece of advice not only applies to disciplining your kids but to many other aspects of life: Relationships, Career moves, Health. Everything depends on your decisions. We all have our answers within us. In order to access the answers, in order to decide, we have to explore ourselves and find out what we know for sure. From that place of certainty and truth, it is easier to make good decisions. In Linda’s case, she knew for sure that she was not meant to be an executive; it was her ego that was clinging to the security of that image. The Maori, the indigenous people of
New Zealand, have a saying:
Reflection
- What would it take to really improve your life?
- What do you do when you start doubting your decisions?
- What can you do to gain your own approval and admiration?
- Do you tend to seek approval from others? What do you gain from it?
Coaching Application
It helps to ask friends and family members for advice. Their wisdom and knowledge will provide you with the information you need to make an important decision. But, you are ultimately the only person who has the final say; you just need to make a decision. People are afraid of making decisions because they’re trying to find the perfect answer, and there is no perfect answer,” says Gary Klein, whose company, Klein Associates, Inc., trains high-powered executives to make choices. There is no perfect answer, but there is indeed a ‘right’ answer, the one that rings true to your heart and soul. Barbara De Angelis in her book ‘How did I get here?’ suggests a simple Confusion clearing exercise. It is a very powerful process to get a glimpse of very clear answers within you. On a piece of paper, make two columns. At the top of the first write: What I feel confused about:…. At the top of the second write: If I were clear I might have to:… For example,
In a coaching scenario, Client should be encouraged to explore the following:
Help the client to lighten up about finding the ultimate, perfect answer. Life is meant for learning and progress. Every experience is for our benefit! Support the Client in developing self-trust and intuition by examining their decisions closely.
To sum it all up, make up your mind and just do it as W.H. Murray said:
Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves, too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets:
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. / Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.