A Coaching Power Tool By Olya Taran, Life Coach, UNITED STATES
From Fear To…
Fear: Definition
Fear: /ˈfir/
noun
1. an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat.
verb
be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening.
Consequences of Acting Out of Fear
Fear may lead to inaction, procrastination, and making ultra-safe choices. All of these limit growth and advancement, as well as create feelings of stress.
Top 12 Fears
1. Fear of Failure
Experiencing shame, disappointing others, and being deprived of the desired future. Behavior: play it safe, lower standards, set easy goals, and focus on cutting losses.
2. Fear of Failure
Success = greater responsibility. Success makes you more visible, and therefore more vulnerable. The expectations for continued success are higher, which means sustained and ceaseless effort is required. No time to rest, no forgiveness for failures, and no room for weaknesses.
3. Fear of Public Speaking
Choosing the safety of silence instead of conquering the fear of public speaking may translate into fewer opportunities to demonstrate our abilities, lower chances of promoting our ideas, and less likelihood of being seen as a leader.
4. Fear of Rejection
Rejection is painful. Avoid the pain of rejection. Resort to justification, rationalization, and procrastination.
5. Fear of Making the Wrong Decision
The root of analysis paralysis. The consequences of a wrong decision may seem devastating. Instead, “Am I making a “good” decision?”
6. Fear of Other People’s Opinions
Fear of what others think has the potential to keep people stuck in careers they don’t like, in relationships they don’t enjoy, and in life circumstances that don’t fulfill them.
7. Fear of Other People’s Opinions
More responsibility means more work, more problems to solve, and more scrutiny. Which also means less freedom, less downtime, and less play. But with less responsibility comes less recognition and less advancement.
8. Fear of Saying the Wrong Thing
It becomes a metric for self-evaluation. Our weaknesses may get exposed. It is proof that we are not as good as we think. This could lead to crippling self-doubt. This is the kind of fear that prevents parents from having important conversations.
9. Fear of Being Exposed as an Impostor
Also known as “impostor syndrome”. It’s the deep doubt of the merit of one’s accomplishments. We are unsure we deserve the accolades we’ve earned and worry that we will soon be exposed as frauds. By failing to acknowledge that our accomplishments are related to our efforts and not to our deception skills, this fear can keep us stuck, stressed, and small.
10. Fear of Commitment
Making a commitment means foreclosing on all the other prospects. To some people, the thought of locking themselves into one option is terrifying, perceived as losing their freedom, autonomy, and flexibility, a threat to identity that is inescapable. Paradoxically, fear of commitment to one option means choosing another option: being perpetually stuck in a present reality haunted by floundering and indecisiveness.
11. Fear of Challenge
This fear prevents us from moving to the next level., and makes the next level appear too hard to handle. The inability to meet the requirements of the next level threatens to eliminate the sense of accomplishment we derived from reaching mastery at our current level. Without challenge, however, there is no growth and no progress.
12. Fear of Missing Out
This fear causes us to lose focus, overcommit ourselves, and deplete our resources. Fear of missing out makes it hard to say no to choices. The idea that something important might be lost by refraining from participating, leads us to engage ourselves without much deliberation and to execute without much efficiency.
Fear: Opposites
- Acceptance
- Curiosity
- Understanding
- Safety
- Calmness
- Confidence
- Ease
- Trust
- Comfort
- Love
Fear: Coaching Questions
- What are you really afraid of?
- How reasonable is the fear?
- What would accepting this fear and inaction cost you?
- What would get over the fear help you with?
- What are the potential outcomes if you choose courage and do not let fear have control?
- What would it take to turn the fear into [insert one of the relevant opposites]?
- What is the trade-off between staying in fear vs. acting?
- What are the benefits of doing the thing, despite the fear?
- What is triggering the fear? How might you reframe or eliminate the trigger?
- What are the small things you can do today to get past the fear?