A Coaching Power Tool By Bemene Piaro, Transformational Life Coach, UNITED STATES
The Difference Between The Driver’s Seat vs. Passenger’s Seat
Passenger’s seat
- Feeling that one does not have the authority or capacity to act on one’s own behalf.
Driver’s seat
- Feeling one knows the solution or how to get to the solution for a situation
- Feeling capable, resourceful, and supported in a situation or circumstance
Driver’s Seat vs. Passenger’s Seat
Passenger’s Seat
Questions to Ask the Client
- What does being in the passenger’s seat feel like to you?
- What clues let you know that you are in the passenger’s seat?
- What is the situation makes you feel like the passenger?
- What actions/Thoughts help shift you away from feeling like the passenger?
Some Examples of Feelings Associated With Anger Being in the Passenger’s Seat
- People pleasing
- Low energy or motivation
- Feeling abandoned
- Thinking “Why me?”
- Frustration
- Feeling like one is making an effort but not seeing progress or results
- Feeling like there is no way forward
- Feeling one would like someone to tell one what to do or what the problem is
Some Examples of Clues That One Is
- In seeking a permission frame to take action on passenger issues directly impacting one when it’s not reasonable to do so
- Blaming others
- Placing self on the back burner to be nice and not hurt feelings
- Avoiding difficult conversations
- Complaining about a situation over a period of time without taking action
- Bringing other people into the situation rather than talking directly to the person I need to
- Feelings of fear and anxiety around a situation
- Waiting on someone to do something
- Believe that it is not my responsibility
Questions
- How do you feel when you are in the driver’s seat of your life?
- What could help you feel empowered in this situation?
- What actions/Thoughts help shift you to the driver’s seat?
Some Examples of Feelings Associated With Being in the Driver’s Seat
- Creativity
- Curiosity
- Gratitude
- Feel skilled
- Feel like the right person for the situation/Job
- Feel supported
- Feel abundant
- Know what the solution is or how to get to the solution
- Everything feels accessible
- Challenges feel like opportunities
Actions/Thoughts That Change Perspective From Passenger’s Seat to Driver’s Seat
- State affirmations to yourself: I trust me; Whatever decision I make, it will be ok.
- Remind yourself that it is okay to get started without knowing the full result. It is possible to course correct after getting started.
- Give yourself permission to be less than perfect, or to get it wrong.
- Believe that others will also do their part at the right time.