Differences between balance and perfectionism:
|
Balance |
Perfectionism |
| Is willing to be wrong | Is always being right |
| Involves taking risk | Is fearful |
| Is empowering | Is anger and frustration |
| Allows spontaneity | Is control |
| Is accepting | Implies judgment |
| Is generous | Is lacking in abundance |
| Builds confidence | Creates doubt |
| Flows | Is pressure |
| Is grey | Is black and white |
| Takes us on a journey | Is a destination |
Sometimes when we don’t feel good enough, we create imbalance by overachieving or needing to be the best at something. Overachievers are people who have achieved but still feel the need to do more, creating an imbalance in their lives. People who exhibit this behavior may be trying to compensate for feelings of insecurity and doubts about their worth.
If we find that we cannot enjoy our accomplishments, never feel satisfied when we have done our very best, push ourselves beyond the point of exhaustion, or to the exclusion of important people in our lives then we are robbing ourselves of true and meaningful joy.
I was a child of extremes. Everything was love or hate. There was no middle ground. Someone once said, of all the people I met two percent would like me no matter what I did, two percent would dislike me no matter what, and the rest would be largely indifferent.” This introduces the concept of balance. Because experiences may have been of extreme emotions or anesthetized feelings the challenge is to balance our lives and accept the many variations of color and texture that life presents. Instead of living forever, in black and white, find the rainbow within yourself.
We can learn to use self-knowledge for personal growth rather than further self-abuse.
Reflections
Coaching Application
Actions that move us from perfectionism to balance:
There may be times when we need to climb mountains at work or put extra energy into relationships. But the overall picture needs to balance. Just as a balanced nutritional diet takes into account the realm of our nutritional needs to stay healthy, a balanced life takes into account all our needs: our needs for friends, work, love, family, play, private time, and spiritual time. We need to listen to our inner voice; it will tell us when we are out of balance.
Reference:
Ann W. Smith, M.S. Overcoming Perfectionism. Health Communication, Inc. 1990