A Coaching Power Tool Created by Chrysline Kirassian
(Life and Transitioning Coach, SWITZERLAND)
Introduction
To build a solid life, we should start working on the foundations, properly stabilizing and enrooting us. We could focus first on our inner security feelings: respecting our identity and personal values, and embracing our capacities and desires. The best way is to consciously give a direction to our life, in the present, being more responsible, open and true to ourselves, in touch with our inner self and free from all dependences (image, judgements, others’ reactions, “shoulds”…). This allows us to anchor ourselves, focusing on “What do I want to do with my life?” rather than « What is life getting for me? ».Like a little child, we therefore decide to enjoy every single step of the way of our lives. We choose to enjoy the journey…
The reality is, no matter how much you achieve, accomplish, and acquire in life… there is always something more. You might never “reach” your final destination—at least not in this life! So, why does all this matter? Because far too many people put off what really matters in pursuit of the things they want to achieve. They tell themselves that they will worry about these things once they have reached their destination. However, a key to obtaining real peace in our lives could be to focus on enjoying the journey, taking the time to “smell the roses,” and focusing on what is really important in life. Sure, it is great to focus on destinations, but the most important thing is that you learn to be happy — right here and now.
My power tool is about this empowering shift in perspective from the expectations to the intent:
It is preferable to live without having expectations on the “when” and “why”. Create what you want, cut non-supporting strings and free yourself. Do what your heart / gut tells you, without judging the actions by the outcome. As long as your behaviours reflect your true identity and conviction, then you have done everything in your power and what will come will be perfect. When you free yourself from expectations, you can live in the flow and in a mindful fulfilling life!
Self-application
I personally came to the conclusion of this Power Tool while running a few weeks ago. I used to run to exercise, to release tension, feel energized and in a way to activate my mindful source, living in a flow. Running is like a meditation to me: body, mind, emotions and outside power all gathered together at the same time and place to fulfill my need and desire to enjoy the moment (my moment).
However, on that particular Monday, I felt really frustrated and disappointed after my first 2km. My breathing was hard, my legs were super heavy and I couldn’t help myself think that I needed to run quicker and longer, doing this or that to improve my objective. My head was getting so much in the way that I stopped and walked for a while. At this very specific moment, I started talking to myself, aware that something was not right. Why was I feeling so useless in a moment meant to empower myself? Why was I so hard on me in a moment where I was looking for compassion, self-care and self-esteem? How could I be so tense when I was looking to release tensions?
In a split second, I realized that I had lost the real focus…The initial intent was running and being present while doing it to the best of my ability; to have zero attachment to any specific outcome; to be completely absorbed with the motion of my legs and body, with the inspiration from my mind and “feel good” of my emotions. Not to mention the balance with nature and its energy. However, I let specific outcomes get in the way: my chronometer, my distance, my foot position, etc. By holding a preconceived idea on how this run should look like, it thwarted the joy out of it because I was too busy being fixated on only one small detail within the intensity of it all. My expectations were here, hopelessly limiting and disappointing.I let them and my projections of what a runner should do get in my way. I lost the real focus of me running; I lost my intent to enjoy every single step of the flow.
Since then, I have decided to use some mindful tools before each run, to make sure I am connecting to my internal motivation to carry it through. I have started an internal dialogue voicing my intent for this moment: “I want to have a nice time… I want to have fun… I want to be in the flow… I want to go above and beyond still feeling proud and happy of me…etc.” I have chosen to combine it with a visual ritual, focusing on a colour or an image of what I want for myself.
These tools, affirmations, visualizations, or others, such as the meditation, the mantras, the vision board or the gratitude journal are definitely supporting structures to activate the power of intent. It helps me to connect to my inner voice and re-frame my way of doing things or enjoying things, making sure I stay in the present moment and enjoy every single step of my run / my life.
There is nothing to expect, nothing to succeed in, just a conscious intent to open oneself up to all things that could come out, whatever they are. It’s a bit like the paradox of meditation: doing nothing and still getting so much! My power tool Intent versus Expectations is all about this daily way of seeing Life.
Thank you.