Power Tool: Halt vs. Push

Self- Application

To HALT or PUSH, we can teach ourselves and our clients to ask:

1. What are my options in this situation? Verbally brainstorm or write down every idea without fear of sounding silly or unrealistic. All suggestions are valued and accepted. Encourage clients to think for themselves. More than likely an option claimed is an option owned.
2. What benefits result from each option? Help your client uncover and embrace the truth for themselves. Be patient, not pressuring.
3. What negative consequences could come from each option? This can be a highly beneficial learning dialogue when we witness the cause and effect law in our own lives, as well as in others’ lives. Encourage questioning with such thoughts as, “am I willing to accept the consequences of my decision?” and “how would this solution change my life on a short term basis, on a long term level?”
4. What core values are attached to this decision? There is significant impact on solutions based on personal values, including loyalty, compassion, self-denial, honesty, responsibility, friendship, and honor. This is also an opportunity to determine those core values and work toward congruency of actions based on beliefs.

What outlasts our decisions include the after-feelings of self-respect instead of shame; positive self-value instead of negative self-worth. Our actions become the past, but our thoughts surrounding those actions affect our future. Poor decision-making can earn a haunting reputation, and the short term knee-jerk reaction can lead to long-term losses and regrets. Choosing to HALT before making a decision or PUSH instead of giving up can enhance the long-term success of a person. When a situation changes, our feelings change. Pressuring people and ourselves can increase desperation and lead to premature decisions. Assuring ourselves and our clients that time is on their side lowers their initial reactivity and the likelihood of future regret. With emotional charge, we often narrow our perspective, which may exclude many important possibilities. Open the door to possibilities by assessing if it’s best for you to HALT or PUSH.

Coaching Application

As a coach, one of your tasks is to assist the client in the timing of a HALT or PUSH.  Coaching involves listening intently to uncover the deeper seeded meaning beyond the client’s verbal dialogue. If a client shows up to a coaching session with less-than-upbeat persona or negative energy, it would seem inappropriate to give your client a pat on the back, offer a kind phrase, and then attempt to establish their next progressive step.

Checking non-verbal cues will bridge the gap with where a client currently operates and where they desire to go to reach their next step. For example, if a client is sighing more often than usual, sounding tired, carrying a weary presence, holding onto an irritated mood, or talking in  an unclear thought pattern, it would be effective to back up and ask what recent experiences have led to this detour in their progress.  It would be most appropriate to HALT.

In the coaching profession, it is natural to focus on helping a client get from point A to point B to point C as seamlessly (and let’s be honest, quickly). If we concentrate only on the PUSH approach to coaching, it is possible that the client will temporarily move forward. However, if a client is in a temporary pattern where a HALT inventory would be more beneficial and the coach keeps pushing them, the client may run the risk of backsliding or giving up.  The client-coach relationship is put at risk because the client may feel that their basic needs are under- valued.  The client may also sense that unless they are accomplishing a goal or sharing a success at every coaching session, they are not achieving a particular timeline or progress agenda. It is up to the coach to be sensitive to the client, meet them where they are, and then take necessary steps to nurture their personal timeline of growth.

The inclination to PUSH is a common foundation in the general makeup of most coaches. Many people are drawn to the coaching profession because they are internally wired to be driven, wanting not only to assist the client in their goal quest, but to see the fruit of their own labor. When a client is in the process of making it through one of life’s valleys, this struggle can be seen as a coaching opportunity to remind the client of hurdles they have already completed.

By reviewing previous sessions, the coach provides the link between the client’s past and their future. When a client is challenged to recall their initial coaching session, or what has changed since that starting block, positive momentum can be regained. The coach can use a visual such as the client driving a car from the vantage point of the windshield. A glance in the rearview mirror is a quick reminder of what the client has already gone through, but the clearer picture lies in front of them through the larger view from the windshield.

As the client gets closer to their aspiration, the progress steps may (or may not!) develop at a slower pace. As a coach, this is our open window to cheer on that client to PUSH. The client has been led to the goal; PUSH will lead them through the goal.

Self-Reflection

1. On an average, what percentage of the time do you make decisions when you are hungry, angry, lonely, or tired? What results have occurred?
2. In what situations would it be most beneficial to you to persevere until something happens? In what situations would perseverance be detrimental to wholeness?
3. What self-talk could you give yourself when you recognize the need to PUSH?
4. As a coach, what cues would you watch for to determine if the client needs to HALT?
5. Create a scenario and coaching techniques when PUSH may be the best solution.