It’s the expectation we put on ourselves or others to deliver, and when it doesn’t materialize, disappointment sets in. You begin to feel miserable and happiness disappears. Consider Ted for a moment. He could have continued complaining and moping around. He could have thought to himself ‘Why should I care?’. He could have given up and stayed disappointed. But he used this experience to turn his disappointment around to do better and excel, resulting in happiness.
OPPORTUNITIES
Every disappointment is an opportunity for happiness. If we are happy 100% of the time how would we ever be able to experience the joy of true happiness? It takes a moment of disappointment to create a lifetime of happiness. All negative emotions have a purpose. It’s the key to survival.
Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.
Steve Maraboli
The story we have heard so many times about the farmer’s donkey that fell into a well:
The donkey cried but the farmer couldn’t get him out. The farmer decided he was too old and wasn’t worth saving. He decided to cover him up with dirt. The farmer invited the neighbors to help him shovel dirt into the well. After a while, the donkey stopped crying. When the farmer looked down the well, he saw that with each shovel of dirt, the donkey shook it off and stepped on it. The farmer continued to shovel dirt and the donkey kept on shaking it off and stepping on it. Finally the donkey stepped up and out of the well. Life is full of disappointments. What we need to do is use the same disappointment as a stepping stone to our freedom and happiness. We can allow disappointments to take away our happiness or we can create happiness by using every circumstance as a bridge to our success.
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.
Dr. Seuss
Coaching Application
Happiness involves positive emotions and an attitude that life is worthwhile. People are looking for long lasting happiness. Finding the catalyst that makes the shift is the turning point from negative emotions to a positive mindset. The move from disappointment to happiness is the choice of the client. It is one they have to make. When they learn to see beyond the situation, they begin to create happiness.
Getting a client to express gratitude for the fundamentals things in life causes them to appreciate what they have, and not focus on what they don’t have. Creating an awareness of living in the present moment and changing the dynamic of that moment is monumental to raising the happiness bar. Instead of being in a state of want, they progress to a state of satisfaction. Positive emotions are created thereby driving the client towards the state of happiness.
They begin to love, trust and respect themselves. Happiness is created.
Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.
Aristotle
Reflection
- What are you grateful for in your life?
- What defines happiness for you?
- How would you rate your happiness level on a scale from 1-5?
- 1 = not really happy
- 2 = somewhat happy
- 3 = happy
- 4 = very happy
- 5 = extremely happy
- What is one thing you can do to shift to the next level of happiness?
- How would you like happiness to look in your life?
- What can you do to move past the disappointment?
- What would happen if you move past the disappointment?
- What are some of the ways you can create your positive emotions?
References
“Book Excerpt: Authentic Happiness.” ABC News. ABC News Network, 02 Sept. 0000. Web. 16 Aug. 2012. <http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=125797>.
BrainyQuote. Xplore, n.d. Web. 16 Aug. 2012. <http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/happiness_2.html>.
“Happiness.” Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster, n.d. Web. 16 Aug. 2012. <http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/happiness>.
Hsieh, Tony. Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profits, Passion, and Purpose. New York: Business Plus, 2010. Print.