Passion will always move you in the direction of your authentic self, but how do you find what you are truly passionate about?
5. Coaching Application
I. Why is ‘genuineness’ so important in a coaching relationship?
As a coach, creating a safe space is essential for the client to feel that you, as their coach, are genuine and that they can trust you.
People trust authentic people and the consistency of their authenticity. To build this trust as a coach, you must ‘be yourself’ (and not play the role of ‘professional coach’) so that the clients can feel the honesty and the integrity of who you are. You should be the model of what it means to be real and honest, so you allow space to create more relationship and more trust; your clients will feel that theycan ‘lean on a solid wall’ and not just a flimsy facade.
II. How can a coach identify a lack of genuineness in a client?
This power tool can be used if during the coaching contract or conversation your client brings up issues or challenges such as:
- “I’m having a difficult relationship with…”
- “I don’t seem to understand my xxx and they don’t understand me”
- “I can’t relate to xxx kind of person, because I’m not like them”
Usually when someone is not being authentic, they have difficulty relating with other people. If I’m having trouble relating to others, it’s because I’m having trouble relating to myself’ – it is highly likely that I am not being fully honest with myself.
Others teach us what we need to know about ourselves.
We have a need to get away and not face what we don’t like about ourselves. People who are not being authentic may typically:
- want to hold control
- avoid talking / connect (i.e. no eye contact)
- blame (external situations)
- boast (over sell themselves)
- be compliant (over-agreeing with everyone) and contradictory
- be inconsistent (say one thing and then do another)
- give excessive affirmations
- give too much importance to other people’s expectations of them
How does this mean they are not being authentic?