Coaching application
Clients often come to us when they find themselves fighting with challenging circumstances or self-destructive attitudes. They are looking to find more joy and satisfaction in life and release the stress and wasted energy.
The shift from disempowering Fighting life to empowering Loving life can be a powerful shift in that direction. Please read below some helpful strategies for enabling the shift.
Awareness
It is important to be aware what we experience mentally, emotionally and physically when we are in each state. See the table
| Mental state (thoughts) | Emotional state(feelings) | Physical sensations | ||
| Fighting Life | I am not ok, others are not ok, and my life is not ok. It could have, should have, must have been.. I wish it was.. I..me..mine..I want, I don’t’ want | Afraid, angry, confused, ashamed, jealous, anxious, sad, disconnected | Tension, tiredness, energy drain, stress, pain | |
| Loving life | I am ok, others are ok, and life is ok. Life is beautiful and I am so grateful. What can I do for others? How can I help? How can I share my wisdom, happiness and joy? | Peaceful, engaged, affectionate, joyful, inspired, grateful, excited | Energetic, vibrant, healthy, relaxed |
We can become simply aware of our thoughts, feelings and sensations as we experience them in the present without judging them. Becoming aware in such away helps us to detach ourselves and to be centered and present – we are not our thoughts, we think them; we are not our emotions, we feel them, we are not our body, we sense it.
Making a conscious choice of shifting from one state to another
When we are able to recognize what is going on inside us and how it is affecting us, we can then make a conscious choice of shifting from a lower to a higher consciousness state. Dr. Dr. David Hawkins (2002) conducted a study around the levels of human consciousness and the energy fields connected to them. Hawkins places the values on a scale of 1-1,000,1000 being the highest level of energy. From low to high, the levels of consciousness are: shame, guilt, apathy, grief, fear, desire, anger, pride, courage, neutrality, willingness, acceptance, reason, love, joy, peace, enlightenment.
The table below outlines the values and the energy levels of each value.
The shift can be manifested differently:
from thinking “I am depressed”, “I wish my life was different’” to “I am grateful for my life”, “ My life is beautiful as it is”;
from being angry with another person to finding a way to understand and to forgive, from beating yourself up to feeling compassion and self-love, from feeling tension all over our body to feeling relaxed and calm.
Sometimes the most valuable thing we can do for our clients is simply help them to change their attitude and rise beyond. Accepting, appreciating and loving life doesn’t mean we don’t deal with things. It means that we simply deal with life as best as we can as it happens instead of getting sucked into the melodrama. We may ask the following questions to bring clarity and to empower our clients:
- Let’s say, the people and circumstances in this situation won’t change, what can you choose as a response that will bring out your best?
- If you can’t change it, how can you make peace with it?
- What would you do if you looked at this challenge as an opportunity to cultivate kindness and compassion to yourself and to others involved?
- What if this pain is a gift and meant to be stepping stone to reaching your highest potential? What would you do?
- What is this experience trying to tell you? What can you learn from this?
- What is under your control in this situation and what is not?
- What is great about your life at this moment? What are you grateful for?
- When you regret about the past and worry about the future, what happens to you – mentally, emotionally and physically?
- Who would you be without those thoughts, feelings and sensations?
References:
Singer, Michael A. (2007), “The untethered soul: the journey beyond yourself”
Byron Katie (2002) “ Loving what is”
http://www.thesilverpen.com/2012/10/02/the-guest-house-2/
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/04/levels-of-consciousness/