Power Tool: Encourage vs. Discourage Compass

Part II DO phase:

This refer to during coaching use of this powerful tool. Before starting the conversation request the coachee to take few deep breath shut the world out and be in the space here and now. Remind the coachee that they will be open to each other, will shut all negative thoughts and will focus on the positives. During the conversation be vigilant about not allowing any negativity creeping in. Because chances of miscommunication increases with negativity and people may conclude without asking for verification if the environment is not friendly.

Some  of the questions can be used during this pahse again giving due importance to each of the four princples mentioned above.

1)      Interpersonal communication is inescapable:

1. Any prolonged silence or any dramatic change in conversation need be noted and be questioned like:

               i.      Are you comfortable to dwell on this topic further?

               ii.      Are you thinking about something?

2)      Interpersonal communication is irreversible:

1. Any prolonged silence or any dramatic change in conversation specially after any question need be noted and be questioned like:

               i.      Are you comfortable to answer this?

               ii.      Would you need little more time to think about it?

3)      Interpersonal communication is complicated:

1. Any prolonged silence or any dramatic change in conversation specially after any question need be noted and be questioned like:

               i.      Have I been able to convey what I wanted to know? Do you want me to repeat?

               ii.      Could I make myself clear?

               iii.      Would you like me to rephrase the question I have asked?

4)      Interpersonal communication is contextual:

1. Any prolonged silence or any dramatic change in conversation as well as unspoken cues, things which are not said need be noted and to bring them out can be questioned:

                i.      Psychological context:

1. Are you feeling okay to answer this?
2. Would you like to take more time to prepare?
3. Would you like to deal with this some other time?

                ii.      Relational context: (Especially important in a mix gender situation)

1. Are you comfortable in answering this or you would like to give it a pass?

                iii.      Situational context:

1. Do you need more time or you would like to answer this when we are face to face? (if such option is available and the present conversation is over phone)
2. Would you like to think about it and respond about it through an email and then we can discuss this further in the next session if you want?

                iv.      Environmental context:

1. Is anything bothering you now? Can you hear me well?

                v.      Cultural context:

1. I hope I did not offend you in any manner?

Part III Institutionalization Phase:

This is done after the conclusion of the coaching session. After the session is over as soon as possible we need to spend few minutes to go through the whole experience to record the mood during the conversation. Analyse whether any time any word, gesture or speaking style created any unwanted feeling. A consolidated note from part III should be used in part I at the time of preparing for the subsequent sessions which will ensure that all inadverdent mistakes can be eliminated. To make this pahse effective it may be a good idea to ask a few questions, like the ones mentioned below, at the time of concluding the coaching session:

1)      How was the session? Did you face any problem in understanding me any time?

2)      Would you like us to do things differently in the next session?

3)      Do you have any suggestion for me?