Power Tool: Closing Loop vs. Leaving It Open

Coaching Application

From a coaching standpoint, this situation can be present in people and manifesting the following characteristics:

1. Intense desire to close the loop
2. Perfectionism quest
3. Not being able to forgive others for real or perceived faults
4. Being hard on oneself to the point of not being able to love oneself and be kind to oneself.

Here are potential questions to coach around this subject:

1. Why do you feel the need to close the loop?
2. What are the implications to you personally when you do so?
3. What are the implications to you personally when you don’t do so?
4. What do you think will happen if you don’t close the loop?
5. How do you think the other person will feel when you constantly badger him/her to close the loop?
6. What impact does your quest for perfectionism have with respect to your
   1. Time
   2. Relationships
   3. Work
   4. Social life
   5. Health
   6. Family
   7. Hobbies or personal pursuits

1. What happens when you let go?
   1. Can you think of examples of when you have let go and what has been the impact of that?
   2. How did you feel then?
   3. How do you feel now?
   4. What is more important to you? Being perfect or getting the job done? Why?
   5. Can you share examples of when you were perfect?

Linkages with the ICF Competencies

2^nd competency – Establishing the Coaching Agreement – this is actually consistent with closure.

3rd competency – Establishing Trust and Intimacy with the Client – this entails being able to close out things. This also pre-supposes patience when things don’t get closed out.

5th competency – Active Listening – active listening will unearth opportunities for either closure or leaving it open.

6th competency – Powerful questioning – will help to put this power tool in motion and unearth different perspectives for the client.

7th competency – Direct Communication – Opportunities to either close or keep it open or re-visit at a later stage.

8th competency – Creating Awareness – this is fully brought to bear in a situation like this as the client may not even be aware of this compulsive behavior like I was.

9th competency – Designing Actions – This can certainly be deployed while crafting actions/explorations outside the coaching session – Eg. Being more aware of this, the number of times in a week you do or let go.

10th competency – Planning and Goal setting – In a desire to be more impactful, one can resort to having specific action plans tailored to reduce the undesired behavior.

11th competency – Managing Progress and Accountability – this can be employed with great effect to help client rid themselves of negative prejudices.